Doors and More Doors

You accept the bag and then open it up. Inside are almost like Cheez-its, except they're all purple, super glowy, and moving around all over the place. One hops out of the bag as soon as you open it. "Queck, cachet!" he laughs to himself. Then, he grabs a handful of them from the bag and places them into his buttcrack. That's right -- go spread the freaking word, dude. People in the quantum realm eat with their butts. You heard it here first, folks!

You are so dazzled by this performance that you almost forgot that you're literally dissolving. Johnny looks in horror as you fall to the ground, your back muscles having dissipated by this point. Do you have, like, any final words for Johnny?