A New Home in the Country

You pull out a handful of coins with a sickening SHLURP noise--they're coated with a thick, foul-smelling saliva that leaves a sticky puddle when you drop them down on the counter.

The clerk wrinkles his nose and glares at you with a disgusted expression on his face. "I can't accept THAT," he says, appalled. "Pay in something that's not covered in dog slobber."