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The Adventures of George W. Bush

You enter the dark, drafty, underground room that is the main residence of Karl Rove. Mr. Rove is a creature that you believe is not truly human. You've often wondered about his past, but have been too frightened to ask the powerful being about it.

Rove is seated at a giant chair that appears to be constructed completely of bones. Various potions are shelved on the walls. The room has the bitter stench of death about it. Rove himself wears a dark hood, boots, and a loincloth. It's safe to say that you are extremely frightened.

Before you can flee in fear, the beast notices you entering the room. "George!" he croaks. "What do you wish to consult me about?"