Savages of the Sacred Salvage

What follows is a woeful tale indeed. It seems a very intense, slightly ridiculous man arrived the other day, claiming he was in love with Akema. He attacked Veltan, nephew of the chief and the girl's soon-to-be husband, and with the element of surprised managed to kill him. He was easily overwhelmed by others, of course, while busy ripping his tunic off, beating his disturbingly hairless chest, and hollering that Akema was now his girlfriend.

With her fiance dead, the three men with two others of Veltan's tribe had begun escorting the girl back to her father. It was then that, hearing the intense, ridiculous young man had been executed, she became distraught with grief and drowned herself in the river! Two of their traveling companions had been drowned as well trying to rescue her, the river being quite restless and angry at the time.

Haithim rises swaying to his feet, looking stricken. "Akema? My Akema! H-how could you--GRAAAGH!" he fumbles for a heavy length of firewood, takes two steps and swings it at the air where one of the messengers had been a moment ago. Then, while he's gasping from such an unusual amount of exertion and trying to catch his breath, the annoyed looking man he just attacked swings his stave and gives him a good smack across the head.

The old man staggers back, mouth gaping soundlessly, like a fish. His pale, ashen face adds to the illusion, and he looks like the very spectre of death as....HOLY SHIT he just clutched at his chest and died!

There's a brief uproar as the servants present on the premises look ready to attack the travelers, loudly accusing them of murder and threatening to run for the Chief and his warriors.

The man who hit Haithim starts taking off his rings and pulling the intricate strings of beads the neighboring tribe is known for from his belt, and the others likewise hand out gifts of appeasement. "Look, look, just calm down. No one knew that was going to happen. Dreadfully sorry, I know you'll miss the poor old man who was probably like a father to you, but--"

One of the cooks laughs. "Are you kidding? I hated that old bastard. He always rushed us in making his food, and then he always found something wrong with it."

"Oh," another servant says, "Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but I hated him too."

"You all can help yourselves to the dinner I just made, and then go back to your tribe. Thanks for your help! We'll take things from here," says a third, making shooing motions. A moment later everyone is in a frenzy, stripping the place of valuables.