The Drakes of Heaven and Earth.
Narrator: Merely 5 km away from Hargeon, Clayton pulls over to “Refuel” the MATV-Hybrid.
Clay(ton) Grimm: Alright...Looks like we're a bit low on fuel...Erza, Chico...ould you help Griffin cover me!?![Gets ready to “Refuel” TERRA.]
Chico Hammitt: Alright...
Erza Scarlet: Very well...Just make it-
*Zip!*
[They look back at Clay to see him with his fly down, and his large “Wand” 😉 in hand, about to enter TERRA's fuel cap.]
Ladies:[Shocked] WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!?!
CG:[Embarrassed] Why'd ya both have to look back…
ES: I mean...I know you've implied that you really love your vehicle, but...THIS...is highly inappropriate! Curb your sexual desire…
TERRA:[Quietly] You're just jealous…[To Chico] And you're envious...
CG:[Shocked] WAIT! WHAT!?! I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!! GRIFF! CAN YOU EXPLAIN IT TO THEM WHILE I FINISH UP!?!
Griffin: Very well...Remember how Clay told Mirajane that his body can turn liquor into fuel?
CH: Yeah?!...
ES: Yes...I remember…
Griff: Well, as with many other Dragon Slayers, Clay's Anatomy, or body, has changed to function more like the bodies of his foster parents...As a result...Instead of just urinating water, salts, hormones, and urea like other creatures, Clayton can manipulate the chemicals in his bladder to form an alternative fuel we primarily use to keep TERRA running...As you should know, we only use our magic to act like a “nitrous,” and only in critical situations…
TERRA: Such as the Eisenwald incident.
ES: Hmmm...That must save you on gas bills… but what about it's exhaust? Wouldn't it still be damaging to the environment!?!
Griff: Very attentive Miss Scarlet!...Yes! Despite being better in emissions than traditional fossil fuels, it still has a harmful exhaust...That's why there's a Catalytic Converter with numerous Catalytic Lacrima in it...Resulting in the exhaust leaving TERRA being normal atmospheric gasses...As for the unnecessary carbon, all we do is have it be directed to a separate tank we fill with calcium and more Lacrima to change it into calcium carbonate, making it look like pearls.
CG: They taste pretty good...but if I have too many, I'll get an upset stomach...That's why, I usually just polish them up to look like pearls, then sell them for a quick jewel!
CH:[Bursting out laughing] NO WAY! SO NATSU DRANK…*Pfft* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!...*Wheeze* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!...[Cackling] Natsu drank piss!...A-ha-and he-he-he liked it!
Griff:[Giddy] I know!...*Giggles*...Clairissa gave him some HotShot© flavored piss!...*Giggling* And he drank it like it was water!
CH&Griff:[They both were rolling on the ground laughing]
CG: We can't tell him…
CH&Griff: Huh!?
ES: Your too kind to an Awol wizard…
CG: Nah...We gonna use it as blackmail...When the time is right!
[They all were laughing. Unaware that a patrol of National Guards were approaching]
Fiore Guards: What are you doing!?!
TERRA: Uh oh!
CH: Shit!
Griff: Crap!
ES: We were distracted!
CG:[Finished up] Hold on officer! Let me explain…
Fiore Guard 1: Well, let me explain something to you! Public urination is a crime punishable by a fine of 250,000J, or 90 days in...Wait!...Schmidt...Is this guy who I think he is!?!
Schmidt: Oh, my lord! You're right Jenko! He's Nidhogg!
Jenko:[To Erza and Chico] And you two are Titania and Nephthys!
Schmidt&Jenko:[To Griffin] And you must be-
Griff:[Interrupting] Please don't…
CG:[Mocking] Fluffy, the Destroyer!
ES: Ah...I've heard of that name...heard he single handedly took down 25 dark guilds at once!
CH: Thought it was 27...
Griff: That does it![Griffin uses his Telekinesis to bring a white rabbit to his hands.] LOOK AT IT CLAY! LOOK AT IT!!!
CG:[Terrified] AAAAAAAHHH!!! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME GRIFF! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THEM!!!
Jenko: Man...I thought it was a stupid rumor...but it looks like he really is afraid of rabbits…
Schmidt: I knew it!
ES: He's afraid of rabbits!?!
CH:[Snickers] So...THIS is one of your embarrassing secrets!?!
Jenko: Something about being harassed by a demon girl with bunny ears when he was a kid…
Schmidt: That's right!
CG:[Afraid] I said g-g-get it aw-w-way from me-e…[Looking to see the rabbit in the face, only for his mind to substitute It's face for Lemy, laugh and all. Getting angry] I said...GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!![Clay made a function RPG Launcher, ready to blast away the woodland critter.]
ES,CH,Schmidt&Jenko:[Preventing him from firing] Clay! Stop this! | You're going too far sir! | It's just an innocent creature!
Griff:[With a terrified rabbit in hand] Hahaha! That will never get old...Alright little
one...time to go…
Schmidt: Wait! My daughter's birthday is coming up soon! She's turning 16! Could I keep it, so I can give it to her!?!
Griff: Well...It seems like it has no ties to any other rabbits in the area...I see no reason to deny you…[Hands the rabbit to Schmidt.]
Schmidt:[Holding the bunny] Awe! Loire’s gonna love you![Schmidt puts the bunny in their patrol wagon.]
CG:[Relieved] *Phew!* Kinda lost it there for a minute…
Everyone: That's an understatement.
Jenko: Hey...Uh...Mr. Nidhogg sir!?! Would it be too much to ask for an autograph and picture with you, Titania, Nephthys, and Fluffy!?!
Schmidt: Yeah! Same here!
CG: Well Erza….Do we have enough time to appease some fans!?!
ES: But of course...Now...Which armor do you gentlemen want me to have on in our picture?
Jenko&Schmidt: Your Heaven's Wheel Armor of course!
Schmidt: It's iconic!
Jenko: And sexy!
ES: Very well men...REQUIP![Erza changed from her usual armor to her Heaven's Wheel Armor.]
Jenko&Schmidt: Wow!...We'll get our cameras ready![They both pull out spherical Camcorder Lacrimas, variant of Surveillance Lacrima, they then activated them to levitate, readying themselves to get a good picture.]
Camera Lacrimas: Three, Two, One…
Everyone: Cheese!
*Click!*
Jenko&Schmidt: Wow! They came out amazing! Now can you sign our shields!?![Erza, Clay and Griffin signed their signatures on their shields. Looking at Erza's signature with uneasy looks.] Ummm...Miss Scarlet?
ES: Yes...I'm aware my handwriting is...atrocious…
CG: Well...I've seen worse...
Schmidt: Anyways...We appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedules...Unlike, SOME famous wizards…
Jenko: Salamander…
Schmidt: Yeah...At least Fullbuster stopped to give us a picture and autograph…
ES: Wait! You've seen them!?!
Jenko: Yeah!
Schmidt: The Salamander was heading through Hargeon with his cat and some rude blonde chick…
Jenko: A little while after, when me and Rivers were patrolling the town's main road, Gray Fullbuster was asking around for those same people...We pointed him to where we saw them last, and he agreed to take some photos and sign them for us...By the way...If you see that Lucy girl, give her these…[Hands over two small notes to Erza.]
ES: What are these!?!
Jenko&Schmidt Rivers: Citations...For assaulting National Guards…
ES: These both add up to 700,000J! What happened!?!
SR: Well...After The Salamander denied me and Himmel’s requests, that blonde chick offered to take pictures and autograph them, but…
JH: We hadn't a clue who the hell she was…
SR: And then she just kicked us both…
CH: WOW!...What an idiot...
JH: We forgot to ask Fullbuster to give it to her...But anyways...Could you maybe give me something to give my 14 year-old daughter, Azure, something!?! And my seven year old Skylar!?!
CG: Sure! Okay...Textile Forge: Griffin Plushie![Clay manipulated the local foliage to create a plush replica of Griffin.] Here you go! Squeeze it to see what happens!
[Officer Himmel squeezes the plush, activating its built-in speaker.]
Plushie Griffin: You're my best friend!
JH: Awe! Thanks...She'll love it!
CG: And for your boy...THIS![He hands him a Griffin action figure, with realistic karate-chopping action]
AFigure Griffin: Ke-Yah!
*SMASH!*
[It obliterated a nearby boulder]
JH: WOW! That's kickass![He takes the action figure]
ES: Well...We should get going...It was nice meeting you both!
CG: Same here!
Griff: Likewise.
CH: Duces!
SR: It sure was!
JH: Best of luck finding them!
[After completing their goodbyes, they got back on TERRA driving towards Hargeon. Arriving at Hargeon Town, the four wizards start the look for their missing guild members.]
ES: Alright! I'll ask the locals standing by if they've seen them. Clay! Search the Inns and shops! Griffin! Get us an aerial view!
CG: Uhm...Erza...I can't see them...
ES: What!?! Of course you can't...Oh...Forgot about your extra senses...
CG: Yep![Joke] Thank you Toph Beifong!
[Meanwhile, in the ATLA/TLOK Universe.]
Toph Beifong: Hehehe...You're welcome kid! You're welcome...
[Back to the Fairy Tail Universe.]
CG: On top of my 6th sense,[Points to his left eye.] I can use Abiotic Eye Magic to control and manipulate any connected earthly abiotic matter I can see, even using it to extend my senses anywhere my Seismic Sense can reach, which is about 5 km in radius. Basically, as long as their connected to the same ground as I'm on, I have eyes and ears just about everywhere...
ES: Well if they really aren't here, they must be on a boat in the harbor, or worse...Let's move out!
[The four of them arrived at the harbor.]
ES: Damn...I don't see them anywhere. Griffin, Chico, find the harbormaster and ask if they've seen them. Clay, you and I will ask the people around the harbor.
CG,CH&Griff: Got it!
[As Griffin and Chico looked for the harbormaster, Erza and Clay asked the locals around the harbor.]
CG:[Sarcastically] Well...You know what they say...Thirteenth times the charm...
ES:[To a local] Excuse me sir, but have you seen anyone with these symbols?[Shows her guild mark on her left shoulder.]
Stranger 1:[Lying] I haven't seen no one with them marks...
ES: I understand. Thank you for your honesty...
CG: You mean dishonesty?
ES: What!?!
S1: You calling me a liar, boy?
CG: No. Your heart is saying your a liar...
ES: What do you mean, his heart?
CG: Remember what Griff said about my Seismic Sense?
ES: Yes...
CG: Well, I can also tell when someone's subtle body language is different, even small spikes in their heart rate! Here,[Hands over his goggles to Erza.] take a look for yourself, these goggles are capable of judgment vision, meaning they'll tell you if anyone's lying or not![Erza puts the goggles on.] Now! We'll ask you again...[Pulling down his left sleeve with his fist up] Have you seen anyone with this symbol besides me, her,[Pointing to Chico] her, and the Exceed behind you?[The Stranger looked back to see Griffin floating behind him with Chico besides him.]
CH:[Waving] Yo!
Griff:[Singsong] Hellooo harbormaster!
S1:[Sweating lightly, Lying] I...I haven't seen anyone with it!
[Erza grabs the man, lifting him up with her left arm, and her sword drawn on her right arm.] LIAR!!! YOU HAVE SEEN THEM! NOW TALK!!! AND YOU WILL BE SPARED!!!
S1:[Terrified] AAAH!!! DON'T HURT ME! THOSE GUYS ARE LOOKING FOR NO GOOD!!! EVERYONE HERE KNOWS ABOUT THE CURSED ISLAND!!!
Stranger 2: Hey Bobby! How've you been buddy!?![Sees him being held up by Erza.] Hey Bobby!?! Are you in trouble or something?
Bobby: Not now Billy!!!
Griff: Excuse me sir...but have you seen anyone around here with this mark?[Pulls up mane, showing his mark.]
Billy: As a matter of fact, I have! Three youngsters and a flying blue cat to be exact!
[Erza drops Bobby]
Bobby: *Ow!*[Runs off.]
ES: Did any of them have bluish-black hair?
Billy: Sure did! He got knocked out cold by a pink-haired boy, tied up, and thrown onto a small boat with him, the cat, and a busty blonde broad. Then they sailed off with this odd fellow of a ferryman quite some time ago. The poor souls are trying to get to Galuna Island. I'd take you to their myself, but my wife would have my head if she knew I was sailing there. Says it's too "dangerous".
ES: They kidnapped Gray!?! Those bastards!!! They've gone full-on rogue! We need to find a boat and...
Griff:[Interjecting] Um, what part of "Magical All-Terrain Vehicle" do you not understand?
[Clayton pulls out TERRA's Magic Keys and presses both the Summon button and the Transformation button. In a flash, the MATV appears in a flash of light, transforming from it's ATV-Form, to a Jet-Ski-Form, splashing in the harbor below.]
Ladies:[In awe] WOAH!...I didn't know that TERRA had watercraft forms…
TERRA: I can even turn into a jet plane...Though that form burns through fuel and Magic...
CG: Come on![Jumps into the driver's seat.] Hop on!
[Griffin grabs Erza, gently placing her behind Clay, followed by Chico. After that was done, he went to the front cockpit of the seacraft to take his seat.]
[Five minutes out to sea.]
CG:[Raised voice] We keeping course Griff?
Griff:[From the cockpit intercom] Yeah, as long as we keep going between east-southeast and southeast, we should see it eventually.
ES:[Raised voice] I should really be thanking you both, if it weren't for you Clay, I'd be back in town getting nowhere! And Griffin! Thanks for actually following my orders!
Griff: You are in charge of this retrieval mission after all.
CG: Guess Natsu isn't really the order-following type!
Ladies: You don't know the half of it!
Griff:[Shouting] ROGUE WAVE TEN O'CLOCK!!!
[Sure enough a rogue wave was coming from that direction.]
CG: We can't outrun it! It's too wide! We've got to face it head on!
[Clayton turns the Jet-Ski directly into the path of the wave.]
ES:[Shouting] BRACE YOURSELVES!!!
[As they hit the rogue wave head on, they were sent high into the air.]
CG: Wooohooo!!!...What the...
ES: Oh, no!
TERRA: WE'RE HEADING STRAIGHT TOWARDS THAT--*CRASH!*...Pirate...Ship...
[The crash sent Clay skidding to the starboard ledge of the ship, causing splinters from the deck to puncture his life-vest, making it useless. Erza was only sent in front of the jet-ski a couple of feet, while Griffin was still safe in the cockpit located at the vehicle's bow.]
ES:[Disoriented] Uuugh...Is everyone alright?
CH:[Groaning] Somehow...
Griff: I'm fine...[Looks around] Wait! Where's Clay?
CG:[Crying out] HEEE-HE-HELP! GRIFF! ERZA! CHICO! MY VEST IS BUSTED! AND I'M HANGING OVER THE SEA!!!
[Clay was hanging from his hood that was caught on a broken plank of wood protruding from the starboard deck.]
Griff: Crap! Hang on!
Pirate Captain: Where do you think your going, Stow-Away!
[Before they knew it Erza and Griffin were surrounded by swashbuckling pirates.]
ES: Stand aside! Our friend needs our help!
Griff: Please! If you let us get him to safety, he can repair your ship and we'll be on our way!
Pirate Captain: Well you landed in the wrong ship! This here ship and crew here be mine, Captain Havoc! Hand over all you jewels and we might let you leave here with your lives! Wait a second! Are you another talking cat!?! Well I'll be! Oy! Polly! Looky what we've got here![Points to Griffin.]
[A female Exceed came swooping down from the ship's Crow's nest, landing on Captain Havoc's tricorn hat. She resembles a Tabico cat in appearance, sporting a red bandana covering the top of her head and her left eye, a black leather bicorn hat, with her ears protruding from slits in the brim of the hat. She wears a cream-colored poet blouse, crimson red waistcoat, black leather doublet, purple scarf, striped drawers, a pirate's belt, a deep blue sash with a thinner leather sash, and three gold hoop piercings in each of her pointed ears. Her right eye was sea green. Voice to reference: Olivia Morgan: More specifically, her performance of Mary Read/James Kidd in AC4: Black Flags.]
Polly: Well, well, well...look at this furry, scurvy dog! You be a tomcat, but wear a skirt like a proper girl![Polly and the rest of the pirates laughed hysterically.] And look at his knight in skanky armor, the lassie looks like a hooker's hired goon![They laugh even harder.] And you! You look like a future cat lady![They were laughing harder still] And it looks like ye matey over yonder be hanging by the threads there four fathoms above the ocean blue
Griff:[Whispers to Erza and Chico.] Grab Clay. cover you...
Captain Havoc: Let's give these stowaways a proper flogging!(Flog=Severe beating)
[The pirates charge the two, but Griffin sent them back with monstrous fists. Escorting Erza to rescue Clay.]
CG:[Begging] Ple-he-hease! I can't swim...ANYONE! HELP!!!
[Clayton gets pulled up from the back collar of his coat.]
[Relieved] Ohohoho...Whoever you are...Thank...😧...you...
[Clay realizes it's not one of his friends who came to grab him, but a big, brute of a pirate.]
Pirate Brute: Can't swim!?! Well, well, well...looks like ye would make great shark bait then.[He laughs sinisterly.]
CG: I don't think so! Earth Dragon: Tectonic Fists![Clay's fists were covered in very thick gauntlets of the previously described Earth Slayer Rock.] *THWACK!*
Pirate Brute: AAAAAHHH...*CRASH!* *SPLASH* [The brute yelped as he was sent flying through the port side, taking three other pirates with him into the sea below.]
CG:[Boasting] Hahaha! Who's shark bait...Now?
[Clay failed to realize that he was comically suspended in air, just out of arm's reach of the starboard poop deck.]
Wai! No![Clay fruitlessly attempts to run back to the edge like a foolish coyote, only to fall.]
CG: AAAAAAAAAAH![A steel-clad hand grabbed Clayton's right gauntlet at the last second.]
ES: Hang on!
CH:[Helping]
[Erza helped Clay back to solid footing.]
CG:[Grateful] Phew! Thank you! DUCK!!![Erza quickly crouched as Clay caught a round shot that would have hit Erza square in the back.]
ES: WHO SHOT THAT CANNONBALL AT ME!?!
[Erza and Clay see three pirates reloading a smoking cannon.]
CG: Sorry! But I'm returning this to its sender! Earth Dragon Maker: Armcannon![Clay shoots back the cannonball at the pirates, altering it so it split into a volley of fists striking the swashbucklers, sending them into the sea.]
CG: Hey Erza...Chico? Where's Griffin?
[Wilhelm scream] *SPLASH*
[Griffin was single-handedly sending waves and waves of pirates into the water below.]
Griff: I grow tired of this![Draws his quarterstaff from his back.] Face my fury!
CG:*Whistles* Griffin's actually getting serious...those poor soul...
ES: Clay! Cover my six! Chico! Back Griffin up!
[Erza and Clay went back to back, sending oncoming pirates left and right.]
ES: I'll head towards the helm! You make sure no one gets up there but you or Griffin!
CapH: You'll have to flog me and me crew first! Polly! Send the pussycat straight to Davy Jones's Locker!
Polly: Ay, ay captain![She draws three of her many cutlasses, one in each forepaw and one held by her long tail.] Oy me hearties! Scupper that clipper down there
TERRA: Please, help me!
CG: MY BABY!!! DON'T WORRY SWEETIE! DADDY'S COMING!!! EARTH DRAGON MAKER: CELLULOSE CALTROPS!!![Clay stomped the deck, sending his magic to make small wooden spikes surround the MATV, stopping the pirates from advancing for fear of stepping on the spikes.] Earth Dragon: Tectonic Arms!(A more powerful, yet harder to maneuver variant of tectonic fist, instead of only covering his hands from tips to elbows like gauntlets, this variant covers from his shoulder blades and out.) Alright you filthy pirates! Say hello to Ruby[Pumps left fist slightly.], and Sapphire[Pumps right fist slightly.]
[Meanwhile, in Steven Universe's Universe.]
Ruby: Hey Sapphire! Did you hear something?
Sapphire: It's nothing, Ruby. We're just being referenced.
Garnet: Hm...Nice!
[Back to the Fairy Tail Universe.]
[After defending TERRA from five waves of pirates.]
CG: Come on! Show me what you got! Show me what you---*CRASH!!!*[Clay was rammed by the pirate crew's battering ram, sending him into the Captain's Quarters.] Well okay then![As Clay was about to rejoin the fight, he noticed a pile of assorted instruments, with a letter tucked between the strings of a fiddle. After unfolding the the letter he read.]
Dear Captain Havoc,
Ever since Anne's passing, the band and I haven't sounded the same. We keep arguing about missing cords and sour notes, but the truth is, Anne Mary and Polly are the only vocalists that can give our music any soul. We don't blame Polly at all for refusing to sing in her absence, we view it as a sign that we no longer can stomach playing in a ship that haunts us with the memories of losing Anne. We're leaving these instruments behind, hoping that someone else in the crew will be musical adept.
Fare thee well,
Charles Chaney.
CG:[Thinking long, and hard. Staring at the fiddle] Hmmm...*Ding!*[Clay grabbed the fiddle, tuning it like his mom taught him.]
[As Erza was fighting Captain Havoc and his men on the poop deck, Griffin and Polly were about to show down, while Chico was surrounded, being guarded by the Seven Defenders.]
Pirates:[Cheering Polly on from the sidelines] Give 'em hell Polly! Spay the tom! Show him who's boss!
Griff: Okay! That does it! Now you've got me angry![Griffin transformed into his battle form.] Prepare for unimaginable pain![Griffin charged at the queen(female cat) with an overhead swing, aimed for Polly. At the last second, Polly evaded the attack and was nowhere to be seen as Griffin violently shook the ship when his staff hit the deck.] What the...
Polly:[Behind Griffin, in her own battle form.] Quite a swing ye got there![Dropkicks Griffin to the other side of the deck.] But it be pointless if ye can't hit me![Polly dished out a barrage of slashes, most hitting Griffin.] By the time I'm done with you, I'll turn you from a tom to a gib(neutered male cat)!!!
Griff:[Pissed] If only you knew who you were talking to, peasant!
[As Griffin and Polly's weapons were locked together, Erza had Captain Havoc in a headlock. The fight didn't seem like it would be ending soon until Clay began playing the fiddle beautifully. Confusing his friends, but putting the pirates at a standstill. He then began to sing a shanty.]
CG:[Singing]
🎵Why apon this lovely day
Must this wretched fiddle play?
All the sky once stainless blue🎵
Pirates:[Joining in]
🎵Every note he strikes untrue.
Summer deep, embowered with flowers🎵
CapH:[Breaking from Erza's hold, putting his arm over her shoulders, singing along]
🎵Silent music, in the hours
In the east a feather moon
MAN that fiddle out of tune.🎵
Polly:[Sheathing her swords, grabbing Griffin like Capt. Havoc. Singing beautifully]
🎵God's hand never missed a mar
At the making of a star.🎵
All together:
🎵There no truce excuse yet made
For the bungler at his prey.🎵
CG:[Finishes the song on the fiddle. The Fiddler, by Rick Jay and Richard Greene.]
CapH:,Polly&Pirates:[Cheering, wanting more]
CapH:[Jolly] Ha ha har! It been too long since we've sung a shanty, lad! We can't flog you and ye mateys now! I don't suppose you'd want to be going into account with us, do ya!?!(Going into account=become a pirate.)
CG:Hmmm...As tempting as it would be, being a Pirate crew's shanty leader, I have a better idea! Earth God: Secret Art: Human Golem Clone.[Clay and Earth were emitting from Clayton's body, which then in golden rays of light, formed a being that looked exactly like Clayton, but in his birthday suit.] Here you go![Hands over the fiddle and bow.] 😓 Crap! I can't make any clothes here...
Polly: Oy! You! Put these on lad![Polly hands the newly born golem a pair of puffy trousers.]
Golem Clone:(With a Caribbean accent) Thank you queen![Puts on the trousers.] Alright me buckos! Who's ready to roll the old chariot!
Pirates:[Cheering] Ay!
GC: Then let's get this shanty a going![Plays the fiddle.]
🎵Oh, we'd be alright if the wind was in our sails
We'd be alright if the wind was in our sails
We'd be alright if the wind was in our sails
And we'll all hang on behind...🎵
Pirates:
🎵And we'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
And we'll all hang on behind!🎵
CapH:[Grabbing Erza's hands to dance]
🎵Oh, we'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
We'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
We'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
And we'll all hang on behind...🎵
Chorus:
🎵Oh, we'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
We'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
We'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
And we'll all hang on behind...🎵
🎵And we'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
And we'll all hang on behind!🎵
Polly:[Singing beautifully]
🎵Well a night on the town wouldn't do us any harm
A night on the town wouldn't do us any harm
Oh, a night on the town wouldn't do us any harm
And we'll all hang on behind...🎵
Chorus:
🎵And we'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
And we'll all hang on behind!🎵
CH&Polly:
🎵Now, another festival wouldn't do us any harm
Oh, another festival wouldn't do us any harm
Woah, another festival wouldn't do us any harm
And we'll all hang on behind...🎵
Chorus:[2x]
🎵And we'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
And we'll all hang on behind!🎵
CG&GC:
🎵Oh, a drop of Nelson’s blood wouldn’t do us any harm,🎵
ES&Griff:
🎵Oh, a drop of Nelson’s blood wouldn’t do us any harm,🎵
Polly&Griffin:
🎵Oh, a drop of Nelson’s blood wouldn’t do us any harm,🎵
Everyone:
🎵An’ we’ll all hang on behind!🎵
🎵So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
An’ we’ll roll the golden chariot along!
So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
An’ we’ll all hang on behind!🎵
CapH:
🎵Oh, a plate of fioran stew wouldn’t do us any harm,
Oh, a plate of fioran stew wouldn’t do us any harm,
Oh, a plate of fioran stew wouldn’t do us any harm,
An’ we’ll all hang on behind!🎵
🎵So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
An’ we’ll roll the golden chariot along!
So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
An’ we’ll all hang on behind!🎵
Pirate Brute and the other pirates who climbed back onboard:
🎵Oh, a nice fat cook wouldn’t do us any harm.
Oh, a roll in the clover wouldn’t do us any harm.
Oh, a long spell in gaol wouldn’t do us any harm.
Oh, a nice watch below wouldn’t do us any harm.
Oh, a night with the gals wouldn’t do us any harm.🎵
GC:[Finishing the song on the fiddle, Roll on the Old Chariot, first half by David Coffin, second half by Stan Hugill.]
[The pirates cheered at the newborn's fiddle skills.]
CapH: Yaharr! You play that fiddle like ye were born to! What's your name lad!?!
GC: Me name be…Hold...I don't think I have a name...[Hollers to Clayton] Hey Da! What me name be!?!
CH:[Shocked] WHAT!?! DAD!?!
CG:[Flabbergasted] Wait! I'm not your dad!
Griff: Actually, you kind of are. After all, you did create him. Even his soul is made from yours. Ergo, he is like your child.
CG: DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!
ES: He's right. You should think up a name for your son.
CG: NOT YOU TOO!
Griff: How about Grant?
ES: Yeah...Grant Grimm. Or how about, Grant Chanty-Grimm?
CapH: Can his middle name be Charles? And me and me crew will call him "Charlie".
CG:[Sarcastically] Oh, great! Now the pirates are getting involved...
Pirate Brute: Oy! We aren't pirates...
Polly: Little John's right! We be privateers. See![Shows a Letter of Marque.]
ES: Well that's more settling...
GC: Grant Charles Chanty-Grimm...Yeah! I like it! I'd like to be in account with ye all!
CapH: Wait! Grimm!?! You don't mean like the late, great Captain Rodney Grimm do ye?
LJ: "The Grimm Reaper?"[Looks over to Clayton] Ye surname be Grimm?
CG: Wait! My some odd great-grandfather!?! How do you know about him? My dad said he was just a famous shipwright.
CapH: Ho ho! No boy! Your ancestor be the most revered privateer in history! His magic-made ships are impervious to all damage. Only a Grimm can break or repair it!
CG: Wait! I know who you're talking about! His fleet was the stuff of legends! He's my ancestor!?! How cool!!!
Polly: This fine vessel we on, be once a ship of the Grimm Reaper's Fleet. The Flying Exceed, whatever an exceed be...
Griff: It's what you and I are…
CH: Oh...So you ARE a different species from cats...
LJ: That explains why the lad broke the deck, but not his vessel, or the pint-sized lion.
Griff: Wait, what did you call me?
ES: So, Clay and his sisters are the only people capable of repairing this ship?
CG:[Jokingly] Oh, No! Grant's a Grimm too! He can repair it no problem![Realistic] Well actually, Grant should be able to theoretically do all the magic I can do...he'd technically be a Dragon Slayer too since I'm one...
GC: Let's give it a go![Grant inhaled all the ship's debris, just as Clay would have, he exhaled the debris, repairing the ship back to it's former glory.]
Griff: Well I'll be! It worked!
CapH: Ha ha! The Flying Exceed has returned to it's former glory! Three cheers for Charlie!
Exceed crew:[Cheering] Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
GC: Thanks me mateys! But we really should be thanking me da Clayton! Three cheers for Clayton!
Exceed crew:[Cheering] Clayton! Clayton! Clayton!
CapH: So! Where you be off to in such a hurry?
ES: We need to get to Galuna Island to return our friends home.
LJ: The Cursed Island!?! Are ye trying to be monsters!?!
ES: No...In fact there is no curse...The villagers of Galuna are actually demons…
Griff: Some people at the temple must be screwing with it...Causing their minds to forget what they really are, and forcing their true forms at nightfall...However, we should all be fine...
Exceed Crew:[Shocked]
CapH: Well will be happy to help you! After bringing us both a shanty boy, as well as a repairman for our ship! Jonesy! Have the ship come about! We be sailing for Galuna Island!
Jonesy the helmsman: Ay, ay Captain Havoc!
CapH: Charlie! Play us a tune!
GC: Will do, Captain![Grabs an accordion.]
[As the privateers sang their shanty, Clay approached Erza to have a chat.]
CG: Hey Erza! Everything alright!?!
ES:[Lying] Yes...every...everything's fine...
CG: Man! I didn't even need my Seismic Sense to see through that lie! Come on. Tell me what's got you down?
ES:[Chuckles] I forget there's no point in lying to you...Out northwest of here...the---
CG:[Finishing] Tower of Heaven. I know...we don't have to talk about it If you'd like.
ES: I'd appreciate it...So...You can't swim, can you?
CH:[Teasing] Can you?
CG:[Embarrassed] No...no I can't. Probably the worst wizard you could have for this mission because of that...god it's so embarrassing…
ES: Don't be embarrassed. Lots of people can't swim. Tell you what, there's a pool deep enough in Magnolia for you to practice swimming, I'll teach you if you want! No one else has to know.
CG: Thanks, I appreciate the offer, but I KNOW HOW TO SWIM already...I just CAN'T SWIM…
CH:[Confused] Huh!?!
ES: I don't get it...aren't they synonymous with one another?
CG: Not for me...you see...
Griff:[Sitting in his hood, Interjecting] He's physically unable to swim. When Gaedey and Gednus made Clay an Earth Dragon Slayer, he lost his natural buoyancy due to being significantly denser than the average human.
Polly[Sitting next to Griffin in Clay's hood.] Aaah! So that's why you were practically begging for ye mum's teet! Instead of floating like a buoy, he sinks like an anchor!
CG:[Annoyed] HEY! HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN THERE!?! DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S RUDE TO EAVESDROP!!!
Polly: Quit yer belly-aching! I just needed a break from singing, yer tom told me ye hood makes a grand seat!
Griff:[Adding on] And a good hammock!
CG: CAN YOU GIVE US SOME PRIVACY PLEASE!!!
Polly: Aaaugh! Come on ye old tom! Let's go up to me Crow's Nest. We can take claps of thunder 'til we see the island!
Griff: If "claps" means "shots" then I'm in, Hey Clayton! I'm taking your hood with us!
CG:[Through his teeth] Fine. Just go.
Polly: Last one there's a rotten grouper!
[They fly off with Clay's hood.]
CG: Man, he can be a pain!
ES:[Giggles] Come on! You know he cares for you!
CG: Yeah, I know...Say Erza, Chico?
Ladies: Yes?
CG: You already know about my Seismic Sense right?
ES: Yes, I think I understand it for the most part. Why?
CG: Well...back in Magnolia, in the guild hall...I sensed something deep under the ground...It was humming with immense magic...nothing like I've ever sensed before...it's big...but in the center of it!...it resembles something like a kid!?!
CH: What!?!
ES: Could you make it out with you Abiotic Eye?
CG: That's the thing! I couldn't...Must be an enchantment or something...might just be the hum of magic obscuring it...Do you know anything about it?
ES: No...can't say that I know what's under the guild. Master Makarov prohibits everyone from going there, even S-Class wizards. However, I'd refrain from telling anyone else about it. The Master must have a good reason for keeping it a secret.
CH: Erza's right...You could get excommunicated for doing something like that...
CG: Yeah, you're both right…
ES: If you don't mind...I have a question for you.
CG: Go ahead. Shoot…
ES: About Clairissa and Teresa...Are they the same as Grant?
CG: Sort of...You see...I've only met two other Dragon Slayers in my life...but neither of them remember a thing about their families...well...except for the one I've been traveling with for three years...She only remembered one thing about her family....her sister...and she believes she's alive…
ES: Same with Natsu...And me…
CG: Well as for me, I remembered a lot about my parents...They were good folks...honest, caring...Amazing wizards...and just as amazing at their interests outside of magic...My mom was an amazing Interior Designer, Decorator, Singer, Musician...She was famous...She would design all the most extravagant buildings...even kings and queens wanted her to design their castle layouts...and my dad...My dad was a legendary architect! He would build things that were decades, no! Centuries ahead of their times...They actually met on a job they were working on together...After being business partners for years, they fell in love...got married...and had me! MAN could my dad create! He was a Creation Magic Master!…The entire Grimm Family was...You see, Molding Magic, sometimes called Maker Magic, is a type of caster magic derived from a Lost Magical Art, known as Creation Magic...But the wizard who developed Creation Magic was my ancestor...Abraham Grimm...He single handedly showed non-mages the good that could be done with magic, inspired new wizards to come from every walk of life...He even created the Magia Dragon guild hall in
Giltena...he was one of their founding members, Elefseria’s right-hand man, he was what wizards aspired to be! Because of him, some dragons began to trust humans more! Him and his family, MY family, were the only humans to be in attendance of Gaedey and Gednus”s wedding! He was fearless, brave, inspiring...Magic as we know it could not hope to be the same if he didn't exist!...He taught many mages, many different forms of Creation Magic...all except for one form...Forge Magic...he tried teaching many others it, but it was beyond their capabilities...but not for his children...my ancestors...At least...that's all what my dad told me...but I'm getting a bit off track...I'll tell you why I think of Clairissa and Teresa as my sisters…and...my last memory of my parents...of my...family...
[Flashback to when Clayton was six, minutes before Freesia was destroyed by the Etherious Demons of the Books of Zeref.]
Ayla Suede-Grimm:[Yelling out the front door] Oh Clay! Me and your father have a surprise for you!
Brick Grimm:[Whispering] You sure he doesn't know about it?...remember all the Christmases since he could talk!?! He knew what presents we got him before he even got to open them! We haven't even surprised him since his second birthday...
ASG:[Whispering] Of course I remember!...How were we supposed to know he could use the earth like a second pair of eyes and ears! It's your fault he doesn't wear shoes like everyone else!
BG:[Whispering] Hey! I'm trying to teach him how a true architect can tell if the ground is leveled! Besides...It's much healthier having your feet unconstrained, instead of them being cramped by some leather boots or whatever these crappy cobblers are making!
ASG:[Whispering] You know Elroy worked hard on those shoes he made for him on his third birthday!
BG:[Whispering] Elroy couldn't make a decent pair of shoes to save his life!
ASG:[Whispering] He made Clay's footwraps pretty well…
BG:[Whispering] Please! Any idiot could make some strips of leather from a lion's tail! I killed that beast! That leather was from my kill! I could have made those a thousand times bet-[Aloud] Hey Elroy!
Elroy Gibson: Hey Brick! Hey Ayla! How's everything been!?!
ASG: All good Elroy! How's Margaret!?! Have you gotten any letters from her and the kids in Balsam Town!?!
EG: As a matter of fact, I have! She said that her and the kids should be coming back with the rest of the town's kid's in about a month from now. So...When did you say little Clay should be heading out with the rest of them!?!
BG: Tomorrow! He's been really excited about it...He can't wait to hangout with his friends...Especially The Vermilion’s boy...Mason was it?
EG&ASG: Maxwell.
BG: Maxwell, that's right! Anyways...We just have to tell him the...big news…
EG: Oh...That's right! Congr-
BG&ASG:[Interrupting] Shhhhh!
EG:[Quieter] Oh, that's right…
ASG: Say, Elroy...Have you seen him lately!?!
EG: Oh, yeah! He's at the library with one of your your pupils Ayla...the Heartfilia girl...Anna, right!?! He's been asking Gordon about dragons again...If you want, I could get them for you?
ASG: That would be wonderful Elroy! Thank you SO much!
EG: No problem neighbor! After all...Thanks to your pupils, Margaret didn't have to take care of all those kids alone...
[Mr. Gibson walks off to the town's library to get Anna and Clayton. Entering Anna Heartfilia and Child Clayton Grimm.]
Child Clayton Grimm:[On Anna's shoulders] Faster Anna! Faster!!!
Anna Heartfilia:[Laughing] Alright little man! We're here! Hi Master! Hi Mr. Grimm!
BG: Hey Anna! How'd your date with Leo go!?!
AH: Well…
CCG: He said he left his wallet in the Celestial Spirit World! *Flick!* *Ow!*
[Anna flicked Clayton on his ear.]
AH: Clay...Adults are talking…
CCG:[Mumbling. Gets off Anna's shoulders.] Meanie…
BG: I knew a date with a celestial might not come out good...Especially Leo…
ASG: Hey! It was worth a shot...then I'd only have to deal with one spirit fawning over me...
BG: Anyways...Anna. Could you make sure you and Clay have all you need for your trip to Balsam Town? We have something to talk to him about…😉
AH:[Understanding] Of course.[Anna Heartfilia walks upstairs.]
CCG: What's wrong? Look I'm sorry I left earlier without telling you both anything...but Old Lady Gretel needed help with her groceries because Scotty’s not here and-
ASG:[Interrupting] Woah! Woah!...Calm down sweetie...We admit, we were worried where you ran off to...But then we remembered this town is full of good people...We...we just have some news to tell you before you meet up with the rest of your friends in Balsam…
BG: It's about your mother…
CCG:[Weeping aloud] OH NO!!! I KNEW IT! MOMMY'S DYING! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT MOM LATELY! IT MUST HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT THING GROWING IN HER! SO WHAT IS IT!?! A TUMOR!?! A PARASITE!?! AN ALIEN!?!
AH:[Laughing upstairs]
CCG:[Shouting] IT'S NOT FUNNY ANNA!!!
BG:[Grabbing Clay by the shoulders] Hey! Come on. Calm down son...Your mother isn't dying…
CCG:[Still in tears] *Sniff* Then why has she had so many doctors appointments with Dr. Morris!?!
ASG: Well, I don't know how best to explain it to you…
BG: *Snaps* I know how! Clay...remember how I taught you the difference between fruits and vegetables?
CCG: Yeeeaaah!?!
BG: Well there you go! Your mother is growing a fruit inside her!
ASG: A human fruit…
CCG: Human fruit!?! I…[Thinking it over] WAIT!!! Do you mean…
BG&ASG: Uh huh!
CCG: I'M GOING TO BE AN OLDER BROTHER!?!
AH:[Walking in] Wait...how'd he get that your having a baby, from that “Human fruit,” analogy!?!
ASG: Anna! Everything must be ready for tomorrow's trip right!?!
BG:[Whispering to Ayla] That girl has ears like a hawk…
CCG: She can hear you!
AH: I can hear you!
CCG: So! Do you know if I'm gonna have a baby brother or sister!?!
ASG: Not yet…
BG: But that's what this is for…[Holds up a baby lacrima(Tells expecting parents what their baby's gender would be).]
ASG:[Grabbing it from Brick.] And we thought you should be the one…[Offers it to Clay.] To find out for all of us!
CCG:[Taking the lacrima] Wow!...So...How does it work?
ASG:[Lifting her blouse from her abdomen.] All you have to do is touch it to my tummy!
CCG: Babies come from there!?! MAN...I owe Max two hundred jewels…[As Clay touched the lacrima to Ayla's abdominal area, it glowed warm colors, revealing the female symbol.]
ASG: It's a girl…
Everyone: It's a girl!
[Brick and Ayla danced around, hugging and kissing one another. Meanwhile, Anna swung Clay around in her arm.]
AH: So! Have you thought of a name for her!?!
BG: No...no a one…
ASG: We were so worried how Clay would react...We didn't even sit down to think up any names!
CCG: I GOT ONE!!!
Everyone: You do!?!
CCG: Yeah! Grandma Merrill was telling me the meaning of names!
BG: My mother!?!
ASG: Your mother!?!
AH: So little guy! What name should we call your soon-to be-baby sister!?!
CCG: Clairissa!
Everyone: Clairissa?
CCG: Yeah!...[Chuckles] It's kinda funny...because it means “Bright”
BG:[Laughs] I get it! “Bright Grimm!” Hahaha!
ASG: Jokes aside...It is a beautiful name…
BG: I agree…
[End of flashback]
CH:[Hearing this story before] Wait...So he REALLY lost everything…[Heavy-Hearted] Clay...
ES: So what happened next!?!
CapH: Yeah! Tell us boy!
Everyone:[Cheered in agreement]
CG: Geez...Is a little privacy really too much to ask for!?!
GC:[Under his breath] This ain't no fairy tale boys…
CG: Well...Not long after that…”They” came…
Everyone: Who came!?!
CH&GC: The Demons of the Books of Zeref…
CG: Right...They leveled the whole town...Killed everyone...My parents fought them until they knew it was beyond their capabilities...their were simply too many demons to deal with... So my dad used the Eternal Spell, Earth Tomb, to kill as many as he could...They left me their wedding rings, my dad's necklace and coat...and my mom's Gate Key to Ophiuchus, The Snake Charmer...13th Zodiac Spirit…
Everyone: Thirteenth!?!
CG: Yep! Thirteen...What my dad didn't realize is that his spell preserved the souls of my sisters...We didn't even know that my mom had twins...And they...They'll never know...Hell! I didn't even know until Gaedey told me about it...She then taught me how to create Human Golem Beings...I can even create other forms of life forms...Though...Even though it's not technically Living Magic...I don't really like having people know that I can literally play god and create life...
Polly: Oy! Who's steering the ship!?!
JH: Oh Blimey![Jonesy runs back to the ship's helm.]
CapH: Alright me hearties...Back to work!
[The Exceed Crew returned to their stations.]
CG: So Erza...any idea just how badly punished our “Awol wizards” will be?
ES:[Growing angry] Those idiots...we're just trying to stop them from getting themselves killed...And what do they do? Kidnap a wizard trying to save them, them bringing him to the quest they are prohibited from taking![Slams fists into the ship's railing.] Damn! If only there were two of me to properly beat some sense into them!
CG: Wait! What did you say?
ES: I wish there were two of me?
CG: *Snaps* That's it! I'll make a human golem clone of you! That'll show them! I can already see the look on their faces! *Giggles*
CH: Wait?! Seriously!?!
LJ:[Eavesdropping] Aaah...Going to run a rig on yer mutinous mates? Sound like a good one!
CG: I know, right?
ES: Can you really do it?
CG: Sure I can! All I need from you is a clear mind, a strand of hair, and a teardrop.
ES: A teardrop? What for?
CG: Well there'd be enough of your soul in it to make it a new, unique soul, that is born from both our souls, but resembles yours the most. They don't say the eyes are the window into the soul for nothing!
ES: This might just show how serious their transgressions are...Will it be permanent like Grant?
CG: If you want! I can even make it so you have a mind-link with it!
ES: Then let's do it!
[Clayton took Erza's bare hands. Using his Earth God: Secret Art: Human Golem Clone spell he used to make Grant, clay and dust began emitting from them both along with the same golden light, then the matter from them both fused into one, until eventually a formless body was made.]
CG: Alright! Now put a strand of your hair in it. It can even be from your eyelashes or eyebrows!
ES: No...It deserves the hair from my head!
[Erza plucked a strand of hair from her right tendril, then placed It at the body's chest, resulting in the body phasing in and out of appearing like Erza.]
CG: Okay...Now all we need to do is add our tears...I'll add mine first.[After adding a tear from his left eye, the body glowed more intensely with golden light.]
Alright! Now yours.[Erza draws a tear from a tear duct, then drops it on to the body's chest, but instead of finishing the spell, the body became smouldering hot, glowing scarlet red.]
Wait! Something's wrong! Keep your hands on it no matter what!!! I'll fix this!
ES:[In pain] Hurry! I don't think my hands can handle much more of---*KABOOM!!!*
[A large eruption of molten rock, ash, and cinder came from the golem's body. Covering Clayton and Erza in black soot.]
ES:[Coughing] Did we do something wrong?
CG:[Coughing] No...We did everything right! I think we accidentally did a unison raid...
CH: The hell just happened?!
Polly: Blimey!
Griff: What are you two doing? Trying to blow-up the ship!?!
LJ: Oy! That lass lying on the deck looks like the armored broad in her birthday suit!
[He was right. The spell was successful. The golem looked exactly like Erza, but was completely in the nude.]
Exceed crew:[Gawking over the voluptuous body of the new golem.]
[Grant shot several of the privateers in the head with his Earth Dragon Maker: Duel Hand Cannons, knocking them out cold with concussive blasts of rocky ore.]
GC: Oy! Ye all best avert ye deadlights from me baby sister if ye know what's good for ye!
[Polly and Griffin swoop down to cover the clone.]
Polly: Ye bilge-sucking sons of biscuit-eaters! Back away from the maiden!
[The clone got to its feet, looking between Clayton and Erza.]
Erza Clone:[In a voice a tad higher than Erza's] M-momma? Papa?
ES:[Speechless] Momma?
CG:[Sarcastic] Great! I've met a woman in less than a week and I've already got two full-grown kids with her...
Griff: I guess that makes me her uncle…
CH: And me her...Aunt?
Polly: Oy! How about you just make me and the tom here be the lassie's godparents!
ES: Very well. I designate you two to be her godparents.
CG: So! What should we name her? Obviously can't be Erza Scarlet. That'd be to confusing!
Polly: Well...she did blow like a volcano...
LJ: How 'bout "Magma Scarlet"?
CH: That's, actually a really good name for her.
ES: Then it's settled. Your name will be Magma Grimm-Scarlet. Welcome to the world of the living...Daughter!
Magma Scarlet: Oh! Mommy![Magma hugs Erza in a tight embrace, oddly enough, Erza was actually tearing up.]
ES: Come on, Clayton! Family group hug!
CH:[Confused] So...Are you two a thing now, or…?
CG: *Sighs* Doesn't seem like I'm getting out of this...Screw it! Why not![As Clay was approaching the two of them, Polly smacked Clay in the face with her tail.]
Hey! What the hell was that for!?!
Polly: Ye can't just go and hug ye nude daughter! Just thinking it over is making me sick to my stomach!
CH: Good point…
Polly: Hold on, girly! I should have a blouse that'll fit ye!
MS: Thank you. But there's no need...REFORGE![After saying her spell, Magma became outfitted with armor looking exactly like Erza's usual combat fatigues.]
ES: Wow!
CG: Since we made her with a unison raid, she can use both of our magics fused together to create her own armor...
Griff: And since she has Erza's The Knight Magic, the armors she creates will have the same attributes as the armors Erza has in her arsenal...Same with her weapons.
CG: And because the both of them are golems, in addition with having all our previous memories, they can alter certain aspects of their appearances, namely their hair, voice and eyes...
GC: Is that so![Grant's scalp glowed gold with light, as it faded, Grant's new hairstyle was revealed to be dreadlocks in a bun.]Oy, mates! What ye think 'bout me new hairdo?
Exceed crew:[Cheers in favor]
MS: Mother? Father? Would you like me to change my appearance as well?
CG: One; please don't call me that, call me Sir, or Clay! Second; Keep this appearance until we've returned home. Three; Until we return home, me and your "mother" will address you as Erza#2, until you are properly introduced to Fairy Tail.
ES: Our mission is to retrieve two Awol Fairy Tail wizards, their prisoner, Gray Fullbuster, and the Awol exceed, Happy. If any of the awols give you trouble, don't be afraid to retaliate with force. We'll rendezvous in the Galuna village, explain to them the situation, and unless the mission they have isn't out of the way, we'll leave and head back to Magnolia as soon as possible. But first, remove your right earring, and I'll remove my left, that way only Griffin, Clay and I will be able to tell us apart.
MS: Yes ma'am![She absorbed her right earring back into her body.] While we're here, let me fix the scorched mess my birth left behind.[With that said, Magma used the same magic technique her "father" and older brother did, inhaling all the soot, ash and embers, then exhaled them out to restore the floor to its proper form.]
CG:[Sarcastically] So...I guess I should make one with you, Chico…
CH:[Shocked] WHAT!?! THE HELL YOU WILL!!!
ES: It seems only fair…
Griff: Absolutely fair...Me, Clayton, and the rest of the SSF created Drake to be our guild's Ace in the hole...So Chico is the only one here Clay hasn't made an Earthling with…
CG:[Teasing] No...She'd rather have a kid the old fashioned way...And...She'd rather have it with that pretty boy Lax-
*DONG!*
[In pain] Agh!...What the hell…
CH: You shut your mouth!
CG: C'mon Cici...We have a good relation-
*STOMP!*
[Falsetto] SHIP!!!
CG:[Grinding her foot] Don't. EVER. Call me “Cici” again…
CG:[Breathless] Yes ma'am…
Griff: Did he tell you his weakness too?!
ES: No...All women know the greatest weakness of men…[She makes a hand-crushing gesture]
Men:[Clutching their family jewels in fear and sympathy]
CG: Oh, yeah?! That all you got Hammitt!?! I can take more than this!
Griff: Don't fall for it Chico…
CH:[Ignoring Griffin] You want more, Asphalt Fuck!?
*STOMP!*
[What wasn't visible to everyone was that Clayton focused his Dragon Force to protect his balls, causing Chico's stomp to only rebound back into her]
CH:[In pain. falling down] AAAHHH-
💋
[They were locked in lips yet again]
[Meanwhile, back in the Naruto Universe]
Naruto Uzumaki: Been there, done that...Right Sasuke?
Sasuke Uchiha: Yes…
Both: Unfortunately…
[Back in the Fairy Tail Universe]
Does their accidental embrace create another Earthling?
Clay(ton) Grimm: Alright...Looks like we're a bit low on fuel...Erza, Chico...ould you help Griffin cover me!?![Gets ready to “Refuel” TERRA.]
Chico Hammitt: Alright...
Erza Scarlet: Very well...Just make it-
*Zip!*
[They look back at Clay to see him with his fly down, and his large “Wand” 😉 in hand, about to enter TERRA's fuel cap.]
Ladies:[Shocked] WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!?!
CG:[Embarrassed] Why'd ya both have to look back…
ES: I mean...I know you've implied that you really love your vehicle, but...THIS...is highly inappropriate! Curb your sexual desire…
TERRA:[Quietly] You're just jealous…[To Chico] And you're envious...
CG:[Shocked] WAIT! WHAT!?! I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!! GRIFF! CAN YOU EXPLAIN IT TO THEM WHILE I FINISH UP!?!
Griffin: Very well...Remember how Clay told Mirajane that his body can turn liquor into fuel?
CH: Yeah?!...
ES: Yes...I remember…
Griff: Well, as with many other Dragon Slayers, Clay's Anatomy, or body, has changed to function more like the bodies of his foster parents...As a result...Instead of just urinating water, salts, hormones, and urea like other creatures, Clayton can manipulate the chemicals in his bladder to form an alternative fuel we primarily use to keep TERRA running...As you should know, we only use our magic to act like a “nitrous,” and only in critical situations…
TERRA: Such as the Eisenwald incident.
ES: Hmmm...That must save you on gas bills… but what about it's exhaust? Wouldn't it still be damaging to the environment!?!
Griff: Very attentive Miss Scarlet!...Yes! Despite being better in emissions than traditional fossil fuels, it still has a harmful exhaust...That's why there's a Catalytic Converter with numerous Catalytic Lacrima in it...Resulting in the exhaust leaving TERRA being normal atmospheric gasses...As for the unnecessary carbon, all we do is have it be directed to a separate tank we fill with calcium and more Lacrima to change it into calcium carbonate, making it look like pearls.
CG: They taste pretty good...but if I have too many, I'll get an upset stomach...That's why, I usually just polish them up to look like pearls, then sell them for a quick jewel!
CH:[Bursting out laughing] NO WAY! SO NATSU DRANK…*Pfft* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!...*Wheeze* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!...[Cackling] Natsu drank piss!...A-ha-and he-he-he liked it!
Griff:[Giddy] I know!...*Giggles*...Clairissa gave him some HotShot© flavored piss!...*Giggling* And he drank it like it was water!
CH&Griff:[They both were rolling on the ground laughing]
CG: We can't tell him…
CH&Griff: Huh!?
ES: Your too kind to an Awol wizard…
CG: Nah...We gonna use it as blackmail...When the time is right!
[They all were laughing. Unaware that a patrol of National Guards were approaching]
Fiore Guards: What are you doing!?!
TERRA: Uh oh!
CH: Shit!
Griff: Crap!
ES: We were distracted!
CG:[Finished up] Hold on officer! Let me explain…
Fiore Guard 1: Well, let me explain something to you! Public urination is a crime punishable by a fine of 250,000J, or 90 days in...Wait!...Schmidt...Is this guy who I think he is!?!
Schmidt: Oh, my lord! You're right Jenko! He's Nidhogg!
Jenko:[To Erza and Chico] And you two are Titania and Nephthys!
Schmidt&Jenko:[To Griffin] And you must be-
Griff:[Interrupting] Please don't…
CG:[Mocking] Fluffy, the Destroyer!
ES: Ah...I've heard of that name...heard he single handedly took down 25 dark guilds at once!
CH: Thought it was 27...
Griff: That does it![Griffin uses his Telekinesis to bring a white rabbit to his hands.] LOOK AT IT CLAY! LOOK AT IT!!!
CG:[Terrified] AAAAAAAHHH!!! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME GRIFF! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THEM!!!
Jenko: Man...I thought it was a stupid rumor...but it looks like he really is afraid of rabbits…
Schmidt: I knew it!
ES: He's afraid of rabbits!?!
CH:[Snickers] So...THIS is one of your embarrassing secrets!?!
Jenko: Something about being harassed by a demon girl with bunny ears when he was a kid…
Schmidt: That's right!
CG:[Afraid] I said g-g-get it aw-w-way from me-e…[Looking to see the rabbit in the face, only for his mind to substitute It's face for Lemy, laugh and all. Getting angry] I said...GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!![Clay made a function RPG Launcher, ready to blast away the woodland critter.]
ES,CH,Schmidt&Jenko:[Preventing him from firing] Clay! Stop this! | You're going too far sir! | It's just an innocent creature!
Griff:[With a terrified rabbit in hand] Hahaha! That will never get old...Alright little
one...time to go…
Schmidt: Wait! My daughter's birthday is coming up soon! She's turning 16! Could I keep it, so I can give it to her!?!
Griff: Well...It seems like it has no ties to any other rabbits in the area...I see no reason to deny you…[Hands the rabbit to Schmidt.]
Schmidt:[Holding the bunny] Awe! Loire’s gonna love you![Schmidt puts the bunny in their patrol wagon.]
CG:[Relieved] *Phew!* Kinda lost it there for a minute…
Everyone: That's an understatement.
Jenko: Hey...Uh...Mr. Nidhogg sir!?! Would it be too much to ask for an autograph and picture with you, Titania, Nephthys, and Fluffy!?!
Schmidt: Yeah! Same here!
CG: Well Erza….Do we have enough time to appease some fans!?!
ES: But of course...Now...Which armor do you gentlemen want me to have on in our picture?
Jenko&Schmidt: Your Heaven's Wheel Armor of course!
Schmidt: It's iconic!
Jenko: And sexy!
ES: Very well men...REQUIP![Erza changed from her usual armor to her Heaven's Wheel Armor.]
Jenko&Schmidt: Wow!...We'll get our cameras ready![They both pull out spherical Camcorder Lacrimas, variant of Surveillance Lacrima, they then activated them to levitate, readying themselves to get a good picture.]
Camera Lacrimas: Three, Two, One…
Everyone: Cheese!
*Click!*
Jenko&Schmidt: Wow! They came out amazing! Now can you sign our shields!?![Erza, Clay and Griffin signed their signatures on their shields. Looking at Erza's signature with uneasy looks.] Ummm...Miss Scarlet?
ES: Yes...I'm aware my handwriting is...atrocious…
CG: Well...I've seen worse...
Schmidt: Anyways...We appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedules...Unlike, SOME famous wizards…
Jenko: Salamander…
Schmidt: Yeah...At least Fullbuster stopped to give us a picture and autograph…
ES: Wait! You've seen them!?!
Jenko: Yeah!
Schmidt: The Salamander was heading through Hargeon with his cat and some rude blonde chick…
Jenko: A little while after, when me and Rivers were patrolling the town's main road, Gray Fullbuster was asking around for those same people...We pointed him to where we saw them last, and he agreed to take some photos and sign them for us...By the way...If you see that Lucy girl, give her these…[Hands over two small notes to Erza.]
ES: What are these!?!
Jenko&Schmidt Rivers: Citations...For assaulting National Guards…
ES: These both add up to 700,000J! What happened!?!
SR: Well...After The Salamander denied me and Himmel’s requests, that blonde chick offered to take pictures and autograph them, but…
JH: We hadn't a clue who the hell she was…
SR: And then she just kicked us both…
CH: WOW!...What an idiot...
JH: We forgot to ask Fullbuster to give it to her...But anyways...Could you maybe give me something to give my 14 year-old daughter, Azure, something!?! And my seven year old Skylar!?!
CG: Sure! Okay...Textile Forge: Griffin Plushie![Clay manipulated the local foliage to create a plush replica of Griffin.] Here you go! Squeeze it to see what happens!
[Officer Himmel squeezes the plush, activating its built-in speaker.]
Plushie Griffin: You're my best friend!
JH: Awe! Thanks...She'll love it!
CG: And for your boy...THIS![He hands him a Griffin action figure, with realistic karate-chopping action]
AFigure Griffin: Ke-Yah!
*SMASH!*
[It obliterated a nearby boulder]
JH: WOW! That's kickass![He takes the action figure]
ES: Well...We should get going...It was nice meeting you both!
CG: Same here!
Griff: Likewise.
CH: Duces!
SR: It sure was!
JH: Best of luck finding them!
[After completing their goodbyes, they got back on TERRA driving towards Hargeon. Arriving at Hargeon Town, the four wizards start the look for their missing guild members.]
ES: Alright! I'll ask the locals standing by if they've seen them. Clay! Search the Inns and shops! Griffin! Get us an aerial view!
CG: Uhm...Erza...I can't see them...
ES: What!?! Of course you can't...Oh...Forgot about your extra senses...
CG: Yep![Joke] Thank you Toph Beifong!
[Meanwhile, in the ATLA/TLOK Universe.]
Toph Beifong: Hehehe...You're welcome kid! You're welcome...
[Back to the Fairy Tail Universe.]
CG: On top of my 6th sense,[Points to his left eye.] I can use Abiotic Eye Magic to control and manipulate any connected earthly abiotic matter I can see, even using it to extend my senses anywhere my Seismic Sense can reach, which is about 5 km in radius. Basically, as long as their connected to the same ground as I'm on, I have eyes and ears just about everywhere...
ES: Well if they really aren't here, they must be on a boat in the harbor, or worse...Let's move out!
[The four of them arrived at the harbor.]
ES: Damn...I don't see them anywhere. Griffin, Chico, find the harbormaster and ask if they've seen them. Clay, you and I will ask the people around the harbor.
CG,CH&Griff: Got it!
[As Griffin and Chico looked for the harbormaster, Erza and Clay asked the locals around the harbor.]
CG:[Sarcastically] Well...You know what they say...Thirteenth times the charm...
ES:[To a local] Excuse me sir, but have you seen anyone with these symbols?[Shows her guild mark on her left shoulder.]
Stranger 1:[Lying] I haven't seen no one with them marks...
ES: I understand. Thank you for your honesty...
CG: You mean dishonesty?
ES: What!?!
S1: You calling me a liar, boy?
CG: No. Your heart is saying your a liar...
ES: What do you mean, his heart?
CG: Remember what Griff said about my Seismic Sense?
ES: Yes...
CG: Well, I can also tell when someone's subtle body language is different, even small spikes in their heart rate! Here,[Hands over his goggles to Erza.] take a look for yourself, these goggles are capable of judgment vision, meaning they'll tell you if anyone's lying or not![Erza puts the goggles on.] Now! We'll ask you again...[Pulling down his left sleeve with his fist up] Have you seen anyone with this symbol besides me, her,[Pointing to Chico] her, and the Exceed behind you?[The Stranger looked back to see Griffin floating behind him with Chico besides him.]
CH:[Waving] Yo!
Griff:[Singsong] Hellooo harbormaster!
S1:[Sweating lightly, Lying] I...I haven't seen anyone with it!
[Erza grabs the man, lifting him up with her left arm, and her sword drawn on her right arm.] LIAR!!! YOU HAVE SEEN THEM! NOW TALK!!! AND YOU WILL BE SPARED!!!
S1:[Terrified] AAAH!!! DON'T HURT ME! THOSE GUYS ARE LOOKING FOR NO GOOD!!! EVERYONE HERE KNOWS ABOUT THE CURSED ISLAND!!!
Stranger 2: Hey Bobby! How've you been buddy!?![Sees him being held up by Erza.] Hey Bobby!?! Are you in trouble or something?
Bobby: Not now Billy!!!
Griff: Excuse me sir...but have you seen anyone around here with this mark?[Pulls up mane, showing his mark.]
Billy: As a matter of fact, I have! Three youngsters and a flying blue cat to be exact!
[Erza drops Bobby]
Bobby: *Ow!*[Runs off.]
ES: Did any of them have bluish-black hair?
Billy: Sure did! He got knocked out cold by a pink-haired boy, tied up, and thrown onto a small boat with him, the cat, and a busty blonde broad. Then they sailed off with this odd fellow of a ferryman quite some time ago. The poor souls are trying to get to Galuna Island. I'd take you to their myself, but my wife would have my head if she knew I was sailing there. Says it's too "dangerous".
ES: They kidnapped Gray!?! Those bastards!!! They've gone full-on rogue! We need to find a boat and...
Griff:[Interjecting] Um, what part of "Magical All-Terrain Vehicle" do you not understand?
[Clayton pulls out TERRA's Magic Keys and presses both the Summon button and the Transformation button. In a flash, the MATV appears in a flash of light, transforming from it's ATV-Form, to a Jet-Ski-Form, splashing in the harbor below.]
Ladies:[In awe] WOAH!...I didn't know that TERRA had watercraft forms…
TERRA: I can even turn into a jet plane...Though that form burns through fuel and Magic...
CG: Come on![Jumps into the driver's seat.] Hop on!
[Griffin grabs Erza, gently placing her behind Clay, followed by Chico. After that was done, he went to the front cockpit of the seacraft to take his seat.]
[Five minutes out to sea.]
CG:[Raised voice] We keeping course Griff?
Griff:[From the cockpit intercom] Yeah, as long as we keep going between east-southeast and southeast, we should see it eventually.
ES:[Raised voice] I should really be thanking you both, if it weren't for you Clay, I'd be back in town getting nowhere! And Griffin! Thanks for actually following my orders!
Griff: You are in charge of this retrieval mission after all.
CG: Guess Natsu isn't really the order-following type!
Ladies: You don't know the half of it!
Griff:[Shouting] ROGUE WAVE TEN O'CLOCK!!!
[Sure enough a rogue wave was coming from that direction.]
CG: We can't outrun it! It's too wide! We've got to face it head on!
[Clayton turns the Jet-Ski directly into the path of the wave.]
ES:[Shouting] BRACE YOURSELVES!!!
[As they hit the rogue wave head on, they were sent high into the air.]
CG: Wooohooo!!!...What the...
ES: Oh, no!
TERRA: WE'RE HEADING STRAIGHT TOWARDS THAT--*CRASH!*...Pirate...Ship...
[The crash sent Clay skidding to the starboard ledge of the ship, causing splinters from the deck to puncture his life-vest, making it useless. Erza was only sent in front of the jet-ski a couple of feet, while Griffin was still safe in the cockpit located at the vehicle's bow.]
ES:[Disoriented] Uuugh...Is everyone alright?
CH:[Groaning] Somehow...
Griff: I'm fine...[Looks around] Wait! Where's Clay?
CG:[Crying out] HEEE-HE-HELP! GRIFF! ERZA! CHICO! MY VEST IS BUSTED! AND I'M HANGING OVER THE SEA!!!
[Clay was hanging from his hood that was caught on a broken plank of wood protruding from the starboard deck.]
Griff: Crap! Hang on!
Pirate Captain: Where do you think your going, Stow-Away!
[Before they knew it Erza and Griffin were surrounded by swashbuckling pirates.]
ES: Stand aside! Our friend needs our help!
Griff: Please! If you let us get him to safety, he can repair your ship and we'll be on our way!
Pirate Captain: Well you landed in the wrong ship! This here ship and crew here be mine, Captain Havoc! Hand over all you jewels and we might let you leave here with your lives! Wait a second! Are you another talking cat!?! Well I'll be! Oy! Polly! Looky what we've got here![Points to Griffin.]
[A female Exceed came swooping down from the ship's Crow's nest, landing on Captain Havoc's tricorn hat. She resembles a Tabico cat in appearance, sporting a red bandana covering the top of her head and her left eye, a black leather bicorn hat, with her ears protruding from slits in the brim of the hat. She wears a cream-colored poet blouse, crimson red waistcoat, black leather doublet, purple scarf, striped drawers, a pirate's belt, a deep blue sash with a thinner leather sash, and three gold hoop piercings in each of her pointed ears. Her right eye was sea green. Voice to reference: Olivia Morgan: More specifically, her performance of Mary Read/James Kidd in AC4: Black Flags.]
Polly: Well, well, well...look at this furry, scurvy dog! You be a tomcat, but wear a skirt like a proper girl![Polly and the rest of the pirates laughed hysterically.] And look at his knight in skanky armor, the lassie looks like a hooker's hired goon![They laugh even harder.] And you! You look like a future cat lady![They were laughing harder still] And it looks like ye matey over yonder be hanging by the threads there four fathoms above the ocean blue
Griff:[Whispers to Erza and Chico.] Grab Clay. cover you...
Captain Havoc: Let's give these stowaways a proper flogging!(Flog=Severe beating)
[The pirates charge the two, but Griffin sent them back with monstrous fists. Escorting Erza to rescue Clay.]
CG:[Begging] Ple-he-hease! I can't swim...ANYONE! HELP!!!
[Clayton gets pulled up from the back collar of his coat.]
[Relieved] Ohohoho...Whoever you are...Thank...😧...you...
[Clay realizes it's not one of his friends who came to grab him, but a big, brute of a pirate.]
Pirate Brute: Can't swim!?! Well, well, well...looks like ye would make great shark bait then.[He laughs sinisterly.]
CG: I don't think so! Earth Dragon: Tectonic Fists![Clay's fists were covered in very thick gauntlets of the previously described Earth Slayer Rock.] *THWACK!*
Pirate Brute: AAAAAHHH...*CRASH!* *SPLASH* [The brute yelped as he was sent flying through the port side, taking three other pirates with him into the sea below.]
CG:[Boasting] Hahaha! Who's shark bait...Now?
[Clay failed to realize that he was comically suspended in air, just out of arm's reach of the starboard poop deck.]
Wai! No![Clay fruitlessly attempts to run back to the edge like a foolish coyote, only to fall.]
CG: AAAAAAAAAAH![A steel-clad hand grabbed Clayton's right gauntlet at the last second.]
ES: Hang on!
CH:[Helping]
[Erza helped Clay back to solid footing.]
CG:[Grateful] Phew! Thank you! DUCK!!![Erza quickly crouched as Clay caught a round shot that would have hit Erza square in the back.]
ES: WHO SHOT THAT CANNONBALL AT ME!?!
[Erza and Clay see three pirates reloading a smoking cannon.]
CG: Sorry! But I'm returning this to its sender! Earth Dragon Maker: Armcannon![Clay shoots back the cannonball at the pirates, altering it so it split into a volley of fists striking the swashbucklers, sending them into the sea.]
CG: Hey Erza...Chico? Where's Griffin?
[Wilhelm scream] *SPLASH*
[Griffin was single-handedly sending waves and waves of pirates into the water below.]
Griff: I grow tired of this![Draws his quarterstaff from his back.] Face my fury!
CG:*Whistles* Griffin's actually getting serious...those poor soul...
ES: Clay! Cover my six! Chico! Back Griffin up!
[Erza and Clay went back to back, sending oncoming pirates left and right.]
ES: I'll head towards the helm! You make sure no one gets up there but you or Griffin!
CapH: You'll have to flog me and me crew first! Polly! Send the pussycat straight to Davy Jones's Locker!
Polly: Ay, ay captain![She draws three of her many cutlasses, one in each forepaw and one held by her long tail.] Oy me hearties! Scupper that clipper down there
TERRA: Please, help me!
CG: MY BABY!!! DON'T WORRY SWEETIE! DADDY'S COMING!!! EARTH DRAGON MAKER: CELLULOSE CALTROPS!!![Clay stomped the deck, sending his magic to make small wooden spikes surround the MATV, stopping the pirates from advancing for fear of stepping on the spikes.] Earth Dragon: Tectonic Arms!(A more powerful, yet harder to maneuver variant of tectonic fist, instead of only covering his hands from tips to elbows like gauntlets, this variant covers from his shoulder blades and out.) Alright you filthy pirates! Say hello to Ruby[Pumps left fist slightly.], and Sapphire[Pumps right fist slightly.]
[Meanwhile, in Steven Universe's Universe.]
Ruby: Hey Sapphire! Did you hear something?
Sapphire: It's nothing, Ruby. We're just being referenced.
Garnet: Hm...Nice!
[Back to the Fairy Tail Universe.]
[After defending TERRA from five waves of pirates.]
CG: Come on! Show me what you got! Show me what you---*CRASH!!!*[Clay was rammed by the pirate crew's battering ram, sending him into the Captain's Quarters.] Well okay then![As Clay was about to rejoin the fight, he noticed a pile of assorted instruments, with a letter tucked between the strings of a fiddle. After unfolding the the letter he read.]
Dear Captain Havoc,
Ever since Anne's passing, the band and I haven't sounded the same. We keep arguing about missing cords and sour notes, but the truth is, Anne Mary and Polly are the only vocalists that can give our music any soul. We don't blame Polly at all for refusing to sing in her absence, we view it as a sign that we no longer can stomach playing in a ship that haunts us with the memories of losing Anne. We're leaving these instruments behind, hoping that someone else in the crew will be musical adept.
Fare thee well,
Charles Chaney.
CG:[Thinking long, and hard. Staring at the fiddle] Hmmm...*Ding!*[Clay grabbed the fiddle, tuning it like his mom taught him.]
[As Erza was fighting Captain Havoc and his men on the poop deck, Griffin and Polly were about to show down, while Chico was surrounded, being guarded by the Seven Defenders.]
Pirates:[Cheering Polly on from the sidelines] Give 'em hell Polly! Spay the tom! Show him who's boss!
Griff: Okay! That does it! Now you've got me angry![Griffin transformed into his battle form.] Prepare for unimaginable pain![Griffin charged at the queen(female cat) with an overhead swing, aimed for Polly. At the last second, Polly evaded the attack and was nowhere to be seen as Griffin violently shook the ship when his staff hit the deck.] What the...
Polly:[Behind Griffin, in her own battle form.] Quite a swing ye got there![Dropkicks Griffin to the other side of the deck.] But it be pointless if ye can't hit me![Polly dished out a barrage of slashes, most hitting Griffin.] By the time I'm done with you, I'll turn you from a tom to a gib(neutered male cat)!!!
Griff:[Pissed] If only you knew who you were talking to, peasant!
[As Griffin and Polly's weapons were locked together, Erza had Captain Havoc in a headlock. The fight didn't seem like it would be ending soon until Clay began playing the fiddle beautifully. Confusing his friends, but putting the pirates at a standstill. He then began to sing a shanty.]
CG:[Singing]
🎵Why apon this lovely day
Must this wretched fiddle play?
All the sky once stainless blue🎵
Pirates:[Joining in]
🎵Every note he strikes untrue.
Summer deep, embowered with flowers🎵
CapH:[Breaking from Erza's hold, putting his arm over her shoulders, singing along]
🎵Silent music, in the hours
In the east a feather moon
MAN that fiddle out of tune.🎵
Polly:[Sheathing her swords, grabbing Griffin like Capt. Havoc. Singing beautifully]
🎵God's hand never missed a mar
At the making of a star.🎵
All together:
🎵There no truce excuse yet made
For the bungler at his prey.🎵
CG:[Finishes the song on the fiddle. The Fiddler, by Rick Jay and Richard Greene.]
CapH:,Polly&Pirates:[Cheering, wanting more]
CapH:[Jolly] Ha ha har! It been too long since we've sung a shanty, lad! We can't flog you and ye mateys now! I don't suppose you'd want to be going into account with us, do ya!?!(Going into account=become a pirate.)
CG:Hmmm...As tempting as it would be, being a Pirate crew's shanty leader, I have a better idea! Earth God: Secret Art: Human Golem Clone.[Clay and Earth were emitting from Clayton's body, which then in golden rays of light, formed a being that looked exactly like Clayton, but in his birthday suit.] Here you go![Hands over the fiddle and bow.] 😓 Crap! I can't make any clothes here...
Polly: Oy! You! Put these on lad![Polly hands the newly born golem a pair of puffy trousers.]
Golem Clone:(With a Caribbean accent) Thank you queen![Puts on the trousers.] Alright me buckos! Who's ready to roll the old chariot!
Pirates:[Cheering] Ay!
GC: Then let's get this shanty a going![Plays the fiddle.]
🎵Oh, we'd be alright if the wind was in our sails
We'd be alright if the wind was in our sails
We'd be alright if the wind was in our sails
And we'll all hang on behind...🎵
Pirates:
🎵And we'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
And we'll all hang on behind!🎵
CapH:[Grabbing Erza's hands to dance]
🎵Oh, we'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
We'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
We'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
And we'll all hang on behind...🎵
Chorus:
🎵Oh, we'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
We'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
We'd be alright if we make it round The Horn
And we'll all hang on behind...🎵
🎵And we'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
And we'll all hang on behind!🎵
Polly:[Singing beautifully]
🎵Well a night on the town wouldn't do us any harm
A night on the town wouldn't do us any harm
Oh, a night on the town wouldn't do us any harm
And we'll all hang on behind...🎵
Chorus:
🎵And we'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
And we'll all hang on behind!🎵
CH&Polly:
🎵Now, another festival wouldn't do us any harm
Oh, another festival wouldn't do us any harm
Woah, another festival wouldn't do us any harm
And we'll all hang on behind...🎵
Chorus:[2x]
🎵And we'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
We'll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
And we'll all hang on behind!🎵
CG&GC:
🎵Oh, a drop of Nelson’s blood wouldn’t do us any harm,🎵
ES&Griff:
🎵Oh, a drop of Nelson’s blood wouldn’t do us any harm,🎵
Polly&Griffin:
🎵Oh, a drop of Nelson’s blood wouldn’t do us any harm,🎵
Everyone:
🎵An’ we’ll all hang on behind!🎵
🎵So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
An’ we’ll roll the golden chariot along!
So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
An’ we’ll all hang on behind!🎵
CapH:
🎵Oh, a plate of fioran stew wouldn’t do us any harm,
Oh, a plate of fioran stew wouldn’t do us any harm,
Oh, a plate of fioran stew wouldn’t do us any harm,
An’ we’ll all hang on behind!🎵
🎵So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
An’ we’ll roll the golden chariot along!
So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
An’ we’ll all hang on behind!🎵
Pirate Brute and the other pirates who climbed back onboard:
🎵Oh, a nice fat cook wouldn’t do us any harm.
Oh, a roll in the clover wouldn’t do us any harm.
Oh, a long spell in gaol wouldn’t do us any harm.
Oh, a nice watch below wouldn’t do us any harm.
Oh, a night with the gals wouldn’t do us any harm.🎵
GC:[Finishing the song on the fiddle, Roll on the Old Chariot, first half by David Coffin, second half by Stan Hugill.]
[The pirates cheered at the newborn's fiddle skills.]
CapH: Yaharr! You play that fiddle like ye were born to! What's your name lad!?!
GC: Me name be…Hold...I don't think I have a name...[Hollers to Clayton] Hey Da! What me name be!?!
CH:[Shocked] WHAT!?! DAD!?!
CG:[Flabbergasted] Wait! I'm not your dad!
Griff: Actually, you kind of are. After all, you did create him. Even his soul is made from yours. Ergo, he is like your child.
CG: DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!
ES: He's right. You should think up a name for your son.
CG: NOT YOU TOO!
Griff: How about Grant?
ES: Yeah...Grant Grimm. Or how about, Grant Chanty-Grimm?
CapH: Can his middle name be Charles? And me and me crew will call him "Charlie".
CG:[Sarcastically] Oh, great! Now the pirates are getting involved...
Pirate Brute: Oy! We aren't pirates...
Polly: Little John's right! We be privateers. See![Shows a Letter of Marque.]
ES: Well that's more settling...
GC: Grant Charles Chanty-Grimm...Yeah! I like it! I'd like to be in account with ye all!
CapH: Wait! Grimm!?! You don't mean like the late, great Captain Rodney Grimm do ye?
LJ: "The Grimm Reaper?"[Looks over to Clayton] Ye surname be Grimm?
CG: Wait! My some odd great-grandfather!?! How do you know about him? My dad said he was just a famous shipwright.
CapH: Ho ho! No boy! Your ancestor be the most revered privateer in history! His magic-made ships are impervious to all damage. Only a Grimm can break or repair it!
CG: Wait! I know who you're talking about! His fleet was the stuff of legends! He's my ancestor!?! How cool!!!
Polly: This fine vessel we on, be once a ship of the Grimm Reaper's Fleet. The Flying Exceed, whatever an exceed be...
Griff: It's what you and I are…
CH: Oh...So you ARE a different species from cats...
LJ: That explains why the lad broke the deck, but not his vessel, or the pint-sized lion.
Griff: Wait, what did you call me?
ES: So, Clay and his sisters are the only people capable of repairing this ship?
CG:[Jokingly] Oh, No! Grant's a Grimm too! He can repair it no problem![Realistic] Well actually, Grant should be able to theoretically do all the magic I can do...he'd technically be a Dragon Slayer too since I'm one...
GC: Let's give it a go![Grant inhaled all the ship's debris, just as Clay would have, he exhaled the debris, repairing the ship back to it's former glory.]
Griff: Well I'll be! It worked!
CapH: Ha ha! The Flying Exceed has returned to it's former glory! Three cheers for Charlie!
Exceed crew:[Cheering] Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
GC: Thanks me mateys! But we really should be thanking me da Clayton! Three cheers for Clayton!
Exceed crew:[Cheering] Clayton! Clayton! Clayton!
CapH: So! Where you be off to in such a hurry?
ES: We need to get to Galuna Island to return our friends home.
LJ: The Cursed Island!?! Are ye trying to be monsters!?!
ES: No...In fact there is no curse...The villagers of Galuna are actually demons…
Griff: Some people at the temple must be screwing with it...Causing their minds to forget what they really are, and forcing their true forms at nightfall...However, we should all be fine...
Exceed Crew:[Shocked]
CapH: Well will be happy to help you! After bringing us both a shanty boy, as well as a repairman for our ship! Jonesy! Have the ship come about! We be sailing for Galuna Island!
Jonesy the helmsman: Ay, ay Captain Havoc!
CapH: Charlie! Play us a tune!
GC: Will do, Captain![Grabs an accordion.]
[As the privateers sang their shanty, Clay approached Erza to have a chat.]
CG: Hey Erza! Everything alright!?!
ES:[Lying] Yes...every...everything's fine...
CG: Man! I didn't even need my Seismic Sense to see through that lie! Come on. Tell me what's got you down?
ES:[Chuckles] I forget there's no point in lying to you...Out northwest of here...the---
CG:[Finishing] Tower of Heaven. I know...we don't have to talk about it If you'd like.
ES: I'd appreciate it...So...You can't swim, can you?
CH:[Teasing] Can you?
CG:[Embarrassed] No...no I can't. Probably the worst wizard you could have for this mission because of that...god it's so embarrassing…
ES: Don't be embarrassed. Lots of people can't swim. Tell you what, there's a pool deep enough in Magnolia for you to practice swimming, I'll teach you if you want! No one else has to know.
CG: Thanks, I appreciate the offer, but I KNOW HOW TO SWIM already...I just CAN'T SWIM…
CH:[Confused] Huh!?!
ES: I don't get it...aren't they synonymous with one another?
CG: Not for me...you see...
Griff:[Sitting in his hood, Interjecting] He's physically unable to swim. When Gaedey and Gednus made Clay an Earth Dragon Slayer, he lost his natural buoyancy due to being significantly denser than the average human.
Polly[Sitting next to Griffin in Clay's hood.] Aaah! So that's why you were practically begging for ye mum's teet! Instead of floating like a buoy, he sinks like an anchor!
CG:[Annoyed] HEY! HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN THERE!?! DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S RUDE TO EAVESDROP!!!
Polly: Quit yer belly-aching! I just needed a break from singing, yer tom told me ye hood makes a grand seat!
Griff:[Adding on] And a good hammock!
CG: CAN YOU GIVE US SOME PRIVACY PLEASE!!!
Polly: Aaaugh! Come on ye old tom! Let's go up to me Crow's Nest. We can take claps of thunder 'til we see the island!
Griff: If "claps" means "shots" then I'm in, Hey Clayton! I'm taking your hood with us!
CG:[Through his teeth] Fine. Just go.
Polly: Last one there's a rotten grouper!
[They fly off with Clay's hood.]
CG: Man, he can be a pain!
ES:[Giggles] Come on! You know he cares for you!
CG: Yeah, I know...Say Erza, Chico?
Ladies: Yes?
CG: You already know about my Seismic Sense right?
ES: Yes, I think I understand it for the most part. Why?
CG: Well...back in Magnolia, in the guild hall...I sensed something deep under the ground...It was humming with immense magic...nothing like I've ever sensed before...it's big...but in the center of it!...it resembles something like a kid!?!
CH: What!?!
ES: Could you make it out with you Abiotic Eye?
CG: That's the thing! I couldn't...Must be an enchantment or something...might just be the hum of magic obscuring it...Do you know anything about it?
ES: No...can't say that I know what's under the guild. Master Makarov prohibits everyone from going there, even S-Class wizards. However, I'd refrain from telling anyone else about it. The Master must have a good reason for keeping it a secret.
CH: Erza's right...You could get excommunicated for doing something like that...
CG: Yeah, you're both right…
ES: If you don't mind...I have a question for you.
CG: Go ahead. Shoot…
ES: About Clairissa and Teresa...Are they the same as Grant?
CG: Sort of...You see...I've only met two other Dragon Slayers in my life...but neither of them remember a thing about their families...well...except for the one I've been traveling with for three years...She only remembered one thing about her family....her sister...and she believes she's alive…
ES: Same with Natsu...And me…
CG: Well as for me, I remembered a lot about my parents...They were good folks...honest, caring...Amazing wizards...and just as amazing at their interests outside of magic...My mom was an amazing Interior Designer, Decorator, Singer, Musician...She was famous...She would design all the most extravagant buildings...even kings and queens wanted her to design their castle layouts...and my dad...My dad was a legendary architect! He would build things that were decades, no! Centuries ahead of their times...They actually met on a job they were working on together...After being business partners for years, they fell in love...got married...and had me! MAN could my dad create! He was a Creation Magic Master!…The entire Grimm Family was...You see, Molding Magic, sometimes called Maker Magic, is a type of caster magic derived from a Lost Magical Art, known as Creation Magic...But the wizard who developed Creation Magic was my ancestor...Abraham Grimm...He single handedly showed non-mages the good that could be done with magic, inspired new wizards to come from every walk of life...He even created the Magia Dragon guild hall in
Giltena...he was one of their founding members, Elefseria’s right-hand man, he was what wizards aspired to be! Because of him, some dragons began to trust humans more! Him and his family, MY family, were the only humans to be in attendance of Gaedey and Gednus”s wedding! He was fearless, brave, inspiring...Magic as we know it could not hope to be the same if he didn't exist!...He taught many mages, many different forms of Creation Magic...all except for one form...Forge Magic...he tried teaching many others it, but it was beyond their capabilities...but not for his children...my ancestors...At least...that's all what my dad told me...but I'm getting a bit off track...I'll tell you why I think of Clairissa and Teresa as my sisters…and...my last memory of my parents...of my...family...
[Flashback to when Clayton was six, minutes before Freesia was destroyed by the Etherious Demons of the Books of Zeref.]
Ayla Suede-Grimm:[Yelling out the front door] Oh Clay! Me and your father have a surprise for you!
Brick Grimm:[Whispering] You sure he doesn't know about it?...remember all the Christmases since he could talk!?! He knew what presents we got him before he even got to open them! We haven't even surprised him since his second birthday...
ASG:[Whispering] Of course I remember!...How were we supposed to know he could use the earth like a second pair of eyes and ears! It's your fault he doesn't wear shoes like everyone else!
BG:[Whispering] Hey! I'm trying to teach him how a true architect can tell if the ground is leveled! Besides...It's much healthier having your feet unconstrained, instead of them being cramped by some leather boots or whatever these crappy cobblers are making!
ASG:[Whispering] You know Elroy worked hard on those shoes he made for him on his third birthday!
BG:[Whispering] Elroy couldn't make a decent pair of shoes to save his life!
ASG:[Whispering] He made Clay's footwraps pretty well…
BG:[Whispering] Please! Any idiot could make some strips of leather from a lion's tail! I killed that beast! That leather was from my kill! I could have made those a thousand times bet-[Aloud] Hey Elroy!
Elroy Gibson: Hey Brick! Hey Ayla! How's everything been!?!
ASG: All good Elroy! How's Margaret!?! Have you gotten any letters from her and the kids in Balsam Town!?!
EG: As a matter of fact, I have! She said that her and the kids should be coming back with the rest of the town's kid's in about a month from now. So...When did you say little Clay should be heading out with the rest of them!?!
BG: Tomorrow! He's been really excited about it...He can't wait to hangout with his friends...Especially The Vermilion’s boy...Mason was it?
EG&ASG: Maxwell.
BG: Maxwell, that's right! Anyways...We just have to tell him the...big news…
EG: Oh...That's right! Congr-
BG&ASG:[Interrupting] Shhhhh!
EG:[Quieter] Oh, that's right…
ASG: Say, Elroy...Have you seen him lately!?!
EG: Oh, yeah! He's at the library with one of your your pupils Ayla...the Heartfilia girl...Anna, right!?! He's been asking Gordon about dragons again...If you want, I could get them for you?
ASG: That would be wonderful Elroy! Thank you SO much!
EG: No problem neighbor! After all...Thanks to your pupils, Margaret didn't have to take care of all those kids alone...
[Mr. Gibson walks off to the town's library to get Anna and Clayton. Entering Anna Heartfilia and Child Clayton Grimm.]
Child Clayton Grimm:[On Anna's shoulders] Faster Anna! Faster!!!
Anna Heartfilia:[Laughing] Alright little man! We're here! Hi Master! Hi Mr. Grimm!
BG: Hey Anna! How'd your date with Leo go!?!
AH: Well…
CCG: He said he left his wallet in the Celestial Spirit World! *Flick!* *Ow!*
[Anna flicked Clayton on his ear.]
AH: Clay...Adults are talking…
CCG:[Mumbling. Gets off Anna's shoulders.] Meanie…
BG: I knew a date with a celestial might not come out good...Especially Leo…
ASG: Hey! It was worth a shot...then I'd only have to deal with one spirit fawning over me...
BG: Anyways...Anna. Could you make sure you and Clay have all you need for your trip to Balsam Town? We have something to talk to him about…😉
AH:[Understanding] Of course.[Anna Heartfilia walks upstairs.]
CCG: What's wrong? Look I'm sorry I left earlier without telling you both anything...but Old Lady Gretel needed help with her groceries because Scotty’s not here and-
ASG:[Interrupting] Woah! Woah!...Calm down sweetie...We admit, we were worried where you ran off to...But then we remembered this town is full of good people...We...we just have some news to tell you before you meet up with the rest of your friends in Balsam…
BG: It's about your mother…
CCG:[Weeping aloud] OH NO!!! I KNEW IT! MOMMY'S DYING! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT MOM LATELY! IT MUST HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT THING GROWING IN HER! SO WHAT IS IT!?! A TUMOR!?! A PARASITE!?! AN ALIEN!?!
AH:[Laughing upstairs]
CCG:[Shouting] IT'S NOT FUNNY ANNA!!!
BG:[Grabbing Clay by the shoulders] Hey! Come on. Calm down son...Your mother isn't dying…
CCG:[Still in tears] *Sniff* Then why has she had so many doctors appointments with Dr. Morris!?!
ASG: Well, I don't know how best to explain it to you…
BG: *Snaps* I know how! Clay...remember how I taught you the difference between fruits and vegetables?
CCG: Yeeeaaah!?!
BG: Well there you go! Your mother is growing a fruit inside her!
ASG: A human fruit…
CCG: Human fruit!?! I…[Thinking it over] WAIT!!! Do you mean…
BG&ASG: Uh huh!
CCG: I'M GOING TO BE AN OLDER BROTHER!?!
AH:[Walking in] Wait...how'd he get that your having a baby, from that “Human fruit,” analogy!?!
ASG: Anna! Everything must be ready for tomorrow's trip right!?!
BG:[Whispering to Ayla] That girl has ears like a hawk…
CCG: She can hear you!
AH: I can hear you!
CCG: So! Do you know if I'm gonna have a baby brother or sister!?!
ASG: Not yet…
BG: But that's what this is for…[Holds up a baby lacrima(Tells expecting parents what their baby's gender would be).]
ASG:[Grabbing it from Brick.] And we thought you should be the one…[Offers it to Clay.] To find out for all of us!
CCG:[Taking the lacrima] Wow!...So...How does it work?
ASG:[Lifting her blouse from her abdomen.] All you have to do is touch it to my tummy!
CCG: Babies come from there!?! MAN...I owe Max two hundred jewels…[As Clay touched the lacrima to Ayla's abdominal area, it glowed warm colors, revealing the female symbol.]
ASG: It's a girl…
Everyone: It's a girl!
[Brick and Ayla danced around, hugging and kissing one another. Meanwhile, Anna swung Clay around in her arm.]
AH: So! Have you thought of a name for her!?!
BG: No...no a one…
ASG: We were so worried how Clay would react...We didn't even sit down to think up any names!
CCG: I GOT ONE!!!
Everyone: You do!?!
CCG: Yeah! Grandma Merrill was telling me the meaning of names!
BG: My mother!?!
ASG: Your mother!?!
AH: So little guy! What name should we call your soon-to be-baby sister!?!
CCG: Clairissa!
Everyone: Clairissa?
CCG: Yeah!...[Chuckles] It's kinda funny...because it means “Bright”
BG:[Laughs] I get it! “Bright Grimm!” Hahaha!
ASG: Jokes aside...It is a beautiful name…
BG: I agree…
[End of flashback]
CH:[Hearing this story before] Wait...So he REALLY lost everything…[Heavy-Hearted] Clay...
ES: So what happened next!?!
CapH: Yeah! Tell us boy!
Everyone:[Cheered in agreement]
CG: Geez...Is a little privacy really too much to ask for!?!
GC:[Under his breath] This ain't no fairy tale boys…
CG: Well...Not long after that…”They” came…
Everyone: Who came!?!
CH&GC: The Demons of the Books of Zeref…
CG: Right...They leveled the whole town...Killed everyone...My parents fought them until they knew it was beyond their capabilities...their were simply too many demons to deal with... So my dad used the Eternal Spell, Earth Tomb, to kill as many as he could...They left me their wedding rings, my dad's necklace and coat...and my mom's Gate Key to Ophiuchus, The Snake Charmer...13th Zodiac Spirit…
Everyone: Thirteenth!?!
CG: Yep! Thirteen...What my dad didn't realize is that his spell preserved the souls of my sisters...We didn't even know that my mom had twins...And they...They'll never know...Hell! I didn't even know until Gaedey told me about it...She then taught me how to create Human Golem Beings...I can even create other forms of life forms...Though...Even though it's not technically Living Magic...I don't really like having people know that I can literally play god and create life...
Polly: Oy! Who's steering the ship!?!
JH: Oh Blimey![Jonesy runs back to the ship's helm.]
CapH: Alright me hearties...Back to work!
[The Exceed Crew returned to their stations.]
CG: So Erza...any idea just how badly punished our “Awol wizards” will be?
ES:[Growing angry] Those idiots...we're just trying to stop them from getting themselves killed...And what do they do? Kidnap a wizard trying to save them, them bringing him to the quest they are prohibited from taking![Slams fists into the ship's railing.] Damn! If only there were two of me to properly beat some sense into them!
CG: Wait! What did you say?
ES: I wish there were two of me?
CG: *Snaps* That's it! I'll make a human golem clone of you! That'll show them! I can already see the look on their faces! *Giggles*
CH: Wait?! Seriously!?!
LJ:[Eavesdropping] Aaah...Going to run a rig on yer mutinous mates? Sound like a good one!
CG: I know, right?
ES: Can you really do it?
CG: Sure I can! All I need from you is a clear mind, a strand of hair, and a teardrop.
ES: A teardrop? What for?
CG: Well there'd be enough of your soul in it to make it a new, unique soul, that is born from both our souls, but resembles yours the most. They don't say the eyes are the window into the soul for nothing!
ES: This might just show how serious their transgressions are...Will it be permanent like Grant?
CG: If you want! I can even make it so you have a mind-link with it!
ES: Then let's do it!
[Clayton took Erza's bare hands. Using his Earth God: Secret Art: Human Golem Clone spell he used to make Grant, clay and dust began emitting from them both along with the same golden light, then the matter from them both fused into one, until eventually a formless body was made.]
CG: Alright! Now put a strand of your hair in it. It can even be from your eyelashes or eyebrows!
ES: No...It deserves the hair from my head!
[Erza plucked a strand of hair from her right tendril, then placed It at the body's chest, resulting in the body phasing in and out of appearing like Erza.]
CG: Okay...Now all we need to do is add our tears...I'll add mine first.[After adding a tear from his left eye, the body glowed more intensely with golden light.]
Alright! Now yours.[Erza draws a tear from a tear duct, then drops it on to the body's chest, but instead of finishing the spell, the body became smouldering hot, glowing scarlet red.]
Wait! Something's wrong! Keep your hands on it no matter what!!! I'll fix this!
ES:[In pain] Hurry! I don't think my hands can handle much more of---*KABOOM!!!*
[A large eruption of molten rock, ash, and cinder came from the golem's body. Covering Clayton and Erza in black soot.]
ES:[Coughing] Did we do something wrong?
CG:[Coughing] No...We did everything right! I think we accidentally did a unison raid...
CH: The hell just happened?!
Polly: Blimey!
Griff: What are you two doing? Trying to blow-up the ship!?!
LJ: Oy! That lass lying on the deck looks like the armored broad in her birthday suit!
[He was right. The spell was successful. The golem looked exactly like Erza, but was completely in the nude.]
Exceed crew:[Gawking over the voluptuous body of the new golem.]
[Grant shot several of the privateers in the head with his Earth Dragon Maker: Duel Hand Cannons, knocking them out cold with concussive blasts of rocky ore.]
GC: Oy! Ye all best avert ye deadlights from me baby sister if ye know what's good for ye!
[Polly and Griffin swoop down to cover the clone.]
Polly: Ye bilge-sucking sons of biscuit-eaters! Back away from the maiden!
[The clone got to its feet, looking between Clayton and Erza.]
Erza Clone:[In a voice a tad higher than Erza's] M-momma? Papa?
ES:[Speechless] Momma?
CG:[Sarcastic] Great! I've met a woman in less than a week and I've already got two full-grown kids with her...
Griff: I guess that makes me her uncle…
CH: And me her...Aunt?
Polly: Oy! How about you just make me and the tom here be the lassie's godparents!
ES: Very well. I designate you two to be her godparents.
CG: So! What should we name her? Obviously can't be Erza Scarlet. That'd be to confusing!
Polly: Well...she did blow like a volcano...
LJ: How 'bout "Magma Scarlet"?
CH: That's, actually a really good name for her.
ES: Then it's settled. Your name will be Magma Grimm-Scarlet. Welcome to the world of the living...Daughter!
Magma Scarlet: Oh! Mommy![Magma hugs Erza in a tight embrace, oddly enough, Erza was actually tearing up.]
ES: Come on, Clayton! Family group hug!
CH:[Confused] So...Are you two a thing now, or…?
CG: *Sighs* Doesn't seem like I'm getting out of this...Screw it! Why not![As Clay was approaching the two of them, Polly smacked Clay in the face with her tail.]
Hey! What the hell was that for!?!
Polly: Ye can't just go and hug ye nude daughter! Just thinking it over is making me sick to my stomach!
CH: Good point…
Polly: Hold on, girly! I should have a blouse that'll fit ye!
MS: Thank you. But there's no need...REFORGE![After saying her spell, Magma became outfitted with armor looking exactly like Erza's usual combat fatigues.]
ES: Wow!
CG: Since we made her with a unison raid, she can use both of our magics fused together to create her own armor...
Griff: And since she has Erza's The Knight Magic, the armors she creates will have the same attributes as the armors Erza has in her arsenal...Same with her weapons.
CG: And because the both of them are golems, in addition with having all our previous memories, they can alter certain aspects of their appearances, namely their hair, voice and eyes...
GC: Is that so![Grant's scalp glowed gold with light, as it faded, Grant's new hairstyle was revealed to be dreadlocks in a bun.]Oy, mates! What ye think 'bout me new hairdo?
Exceed crew:[Cheers in favor]
MS: Mother? Father? Would you like me to change my appearance as well?
CG: One; please don't call me that, call me Sir, or Clay! Second; Keep this appearance until we've returned home. Three; Until we return home, me and your "mother" will address you as Erza#2, until you are properly introduced to Fairy Tail.
ES: Our mission is to retrieve two Awol Fairy Tail wizards, their prisoner, Gray Fullbuster, and the Awol exceed, Happy. If any of the awols give you trouble, don't be afraid to retaliate with force. We'll rendezvous in the Galuna village, explain to them the situation, and unless the mission they have isn't out of the way, we'll leave and head back to Magnolia as soon as possible. But first, remove your right earring, and I'll remove my left, that way only Griffin, Clay and I will be able to tell us apart.
MS: Yes ma'am![She absorbed her right earring back into her body.] While we're here, let me fix the scorched mess my birth left behind.[With that said, Magma used the same magic technique her "father" and older brother did, inhaling all the soot, ash and embers, then exhaled them out to restore the floor to its proper form.]
CG:[Sarcastically] So...I guess I should make one with you, Chico…
CH:[Shocked] WHAT!?! THE HELL YOU WILL!!!
ES: It seems only fair…
Griff: Absolutely fair...Me, Clayton, and the rest of the SSF created Drake to be our guild's Ace in the hole...So Chico is the only one here Clay hasn't made an Earthling with…
CG:[Teasing] No...She'd rather have a kid the old fashioned way...And...She'd rather have it with that pretty boy Lax-
*DONG!*
[In pain] Agh!...What the hell…
CH: You shut your mouth!
CG: C'mon Cici...We have a good relation-
*STOMP!*
[Falsetto] SHIP!!!
CG:[Grinding her foot] Don't. EVER. Call me “Cici” again…
CG:[Breathless] Yes ma'am…
Griff: Did he tell you his weakness too?!
ES: No...All women know the greatest weakness of men…[She makes a hand-crushing gesture]
Men:[Clutching their family jewels in fear and sympathy]
CG: Oh, yeah?! That all you got Hammitt!?! I can take more than this!
Griff: Don't fall for it Chico…
CH:[Ignoring Griffin] You want more, Asphalt Fuck!?
*STOMP!*
[What wasn't visible to everyone was that Clayton focused his Dragon Force to protect his balls, causing Chico's stomp to only rebound back into her]
CH:[In pain. falling down] AAAHHH-
💋
[They were locked in lips yet again]
[Meanwhile, back in the Naruto Universe]
Naruto Uzumaki: Been there, done that...Right Sasuke?
Sasuke Uchiha: Yes…
Both: Unfortunately…
[Back in the Fairy Tail Universe]
Does their accidental embrace create another Earthling?