A Thing

You go home and just sort of sit there for a few years. Finally you decide that you have to do something with your life, but you aren't sure what. Suddenly your TV turns on with an ad for the Adventurer's Magazine. The ad is hosted by some guy wearing all rags who has a weird shaped head, but still, the add inspires you. You decide to purchase a subscription to the magazine and do something with your life.

A few weeks later the magazine arrives and boasts three unique and exciting adventures for any would be explorer to try, but which one will you choose?