You are a Cockroach
The magician laughs, and the assistant is still flabbergasted.
"That's amazing. A talking cockroach. How'd that come to be?"
"I'm not sure," you explain, "but I'd like to be turned back."
"Sorry, buddy, can't help you there. But tell you what, a talking cockroach has got to be worth something. There must be some way of putting you in the act without people thinking it is a ventriliquist. How about it? I don't know if you accept money, but I promise I'll take good care of you."
"Can't date the hot blonde?"
"No," he laughs, "she's mine. And I don't know if she's your type."
"That's amazing. A talking cockroach. How'd that come to be?"
"I'm not sure," you explain, "but I'd like to be turned back."
"Sorry, buddy, can't help you there. But tell you what, a talking cockroach has got to be worth something. There must be some way of putting you in the act without people thinking it is a ventriliquist. How about it? I don't know if you accept money, but I promise I'll take good care of you."
"Can't date the hot blonde?"
"No," he laughs, "she's mine. And I don't know if she's your type."