The Great Sael Adventure 1

The Commodore, demonstrating impressive intuition and unparalleled command of a sextant, helps you to find an uncharted island.

The island is overgrown with trees bearing peculiar fruits. There are also some grumblings from within the island jungle that sound like wild animals which may be good for hunting.

The crew begin picking fruit from the abundant trees. After gathering several, one crewman cuts open a fruit with a voracious appetite that slices the fruit clean in half like a butterfly knife. To the considerable abhorrence of all present—especially the Commodore—a fairy bursts forth from one of the cleaved halves of the formerly whole fruit. One slightly bright crewman silently wonders how it got in there. Another inquires aloud, as if to no one, "How'd that get in there?" but is met with the disappointment of slamming a fist onto a table but nary have it react.

The fairy rises above the humans beneath it and cries out, proclaiming "This is the Island of Cruel and Unusual fruits, otherwise known as Pourte Carrrrloootuuuuuhhhh."

This is met with a lukewarm reaction and a couple of facepalms.

The fairy, aware that she may have been underperforming, declaims, "Here is your cruel and unusual fate: you must gather only those fruits which are green and puce."

One crewman, formerly a logician, asks, "Is this a logical conjunction, i.e., all the fruits we collect must be of both shades? Or is this a logical disjunction, i.e., as long as it has one color, we're good?"

Another crewman, a former conman, asks, "Can the fruit be painted?"

A third crewman, a former seeing person, asks, "What does puce feel like?"

The fairy, generally alarmed at the variety and specificity of the questions, takes a moment to angrily snarl at the men before plowing on with her predetermined set of rules and guidelines: "You must gather all the fruits which are green and puce and you may gather no fruits which are not green and puce. In addition, you may gather no other item and venture no farther into this island than the ring of trees which surround the inner jungle." With that, the fairy diminished back into her fruity home, which happens to be purple.

In the background, multifarious crewmen argue about the exact shade of the fairy fruit—whether it is in fact purple or whether it is, rather, violet, or, mayhap, puce.

Meanwhile in the foreground, the Commodore—not being a risky man—advises that everyone get off the island posthaste and find somewhere else to gather less peculiar fruit.