Suzy’s Strange Saga

You wake up with the sun shining in on your bedroom. You can safely say you haven’t had that experience in a long time, if ever.

You aren’t sure what time it is, but knowing you, you probably slept through the morning as usual.

Once again, you’re stuck in the same clothes you’ve been wearing since the beginning of the week. While you can certainly shower, you’d really rather change clothes at this point so you go through your room and hope that your alternate self left some old clothes in it.

After going through some drawers you find that your alternate self has about the same fashion sense as you do, meaning pretty simplistic. The clothing itself tends to be a bit brighter though as everything else seems to be in this reality and it’s starting to get on your nerves.

You grab a pair of old jeans and a shirt and head to the bathroom where you wash up and later attempt to brush your teeth using your index finger with toothpaste on it. The jeans and shirt are a slightly tight on you though. It’s not enough that your alternate self has a happier life, but the fucking bitch is apparently a size smaller than you as well.

“Oh well, I guess I’ll just be that much more popular with horny guys (Sigh) …unfucking believable…” you mutter as you squeeze yourself into the clothes.

After getting dressed, you head downstairs. The first thing you see is dad on a small ladder working on the overhead light he mentioned wasn’t working. You don’t think you’ve ever seen your own dad ever fix anything.

“Hey, look who’s finally up. You sleep well? You must have considering it’s the afternoon.” Dad says.
“Yeah, I guess I really needed the sleep. Where’s mom?” you ask.
“She’s in the kitchen. Oh meant to ask you, where’s that silver sports car your drive? I didn’t see it in the driveway or even on the street.”

Silver sports car? Seriously? You own a fucking sports car?

“Oh, um…yeah I decided not to drive that one here, it’s been giving me trouble lately anyway. I got an older car for cheap to just drive around in; it’s that small blue one outside.” You say.
“Oh. Okay. I just thought I’d ask. Like I said, there’s been some burglaries and I was concerned that the criminals had expanded to car theft too. Probably a good idea you didn’t bring it, nobody is likely to steal that thing outside.”
“Yeah, I suppose so.” You say and head to the kitchen.

“Fucking sports car…” you whisper shaking your head before you greet mom in a friendly manner.

“Hey sleeping beauty is finally awake! You sleep well I trust in your old bed?” mom asks while she works on cooking something.
“Yeah. Slept fine. What are you cooking.”
“Oh I’m preparing big batch of beef stew. I swear your father would probably not eat anything else. It will take awhile, but I can make you something before then of course.”
“Nah, I’m okay.” You say sitting down.

Your mother smiles at you and you smile back, but you don’t say anything else.

It’s weird, you wanted to talk with her so much yesterday, but now as reality sets in that she’s not really your mother, you’re sort of at a loss for words and awkwardly silent.

Still, you want to make the most of this time so you struggle to think of a topic without being suspicious.

“So…uh…how are Ben and Kelly doing?” you ask.
“Well Ben is still stationed over in Europe. Not exactly sure what he’s doing over there, but it doesn’t seem to be dangerous for once, which I for one am glad about. Julie and the children I imagine are glad about it too. You talk to her recently?
“Not for awhile.” You say which is sort of the truth.
“Oh. Well I did hear you two weren’t on speaking terms any longer. I hope you make up though since the pair of you were always good friends and the both of you probably said words neither of you really meant.”
“Wait, what?” you ask.

You mother stops chopping potatoes for a moment to address you directly.

“A few months ago, Ben told me that Julie told him that you got in argument with her about how she’s too strict with your niece and nephew and she told you not to tell how to raise her kids. I can’t remember the entire exchange of what else happened except I know she ended up calling you a dyke that won’t ever know what it means to be a mother anyway and then you swore at her and hung up. While I can certainly see Julie’s defensiveness about how to raise her children, I don’t think it was right to say such hateful things, just because of your lifestyle choice.”
“Lifestyle choice?” you say a bit confused as you’re attempting to process everything.
“Oh right. I’m sorry Suzy. I know you were born that way. You explained it very well to your father and me when you came out years ago before graduating from college. We’re just still a little old fashioned in our way of thinking and it lapses at times.”

You do not believe this…

“But I’m not a…” you start to say, but then realize why bother correcting her? It would just confuse things for when their real Suzy arrives.

“…I’ll try to make the attempt with Julie, but she really needs to apologize.” You say instead.
“You always were the bigger person. And I wouldn’t give it another thought as far as what she said about being a mother is concerned. There’s always adoption and I also know you people are really big on all that artificial insemination stuff. I’m sure when the time is right you and Heather will…”
“Heather?”
“Yeah, your girlfriend. Wait, you didn’t break up with her did you? She seemed so nice when you brought her here for us to meet her…”
“No…no…I didn’t break up with her, um… so how is Kelly again?” you ask really wanting to change the subject.

“Kelly? Well she’s Kelly. Still one of this town’s finest and doing a good job at it. Wish she’d find a better man to settle down with though. She seems to flip back and forth between these various loser guys that are so far beneath her it isn’t even funny. She really could do so much better and it’s not like there haven’t been several good men that have made genuine attempts to woo her. She doesn’t want to be tied down though and it’s her life I suppose.”

Well now you’ve heard everything. You truly are in bizarro world.

“You okay dear?” mom asks.
“Yeah, yeah I’m just fine mom.” You answer
“Well enough about your siblings, how are you doing? You working on a new book yet?”
“New book?”
“Yeah, you started writing a new book again? I know last time you said you had a bit of writer’s block. Honestly I don’t know how you come up with all the ideas you do. You’ve written like three books already. I know I don’t have the imagination to do that, but you always were creative even as a little girl.”

So that’s what you do. You’re a writer. Makes sense actually. In fact you almost want to kick yourself of why the hell you never tried your hand at it in your own reality. You certainly procrastinate enough.

“I’ve got a few ideas in my head I suppose. Writing is never an exact science.”

Before you have to make up more shit on the fly, dad comes walking in.

“Smells good in here already. Anyway I fixed the light and now I’m going to the hardware store, I’ll be back later.”
“If you already fixed the light, why do you have to go to the hardware store?” you mother asks.
“I have to replenish all the stuff I used.” He says, but mom doesn’t look convinced.
“Okay I just want to go because I really want a new drill.” Dad breaks down and admits.
“George you’re really silly sometimes when you try to make up stories.”
“Well it’s where Suzy gets her story telling ability from!” dad remarks and pats you on the shoulder giving you a smile, which you return.

“Okay, see you both later.” Dad remarks and leaves the kitchen with Mom still smiling about the silliness.

“You and dad seem very happy.” You remark.
“Of course we are. Why wouldn’t we be? We’re enjoying our elderly years together, we’ve had a successful marriage, we have three successful children that love us, grandchildren, a nice home, what more could one hope for?”

What more indeed. You’re still thinking about what the hell you’re going to do with your own life.

Despite a few major differences in your alternate self, you’d still switch places with her. She’s got everything, a formal higher education, successful career, a fancy car, a significant other and most importantly a loving family.

You begin to get lost in your own head, which is then disrupted by mom.

“Suzy? Suzy?” mom asks.
“Huh? Yeah?” you answer.
“Are you really okay? You’ve been sort of spacing out lately.”
“Oh, yeah. Well like I said, I’ve got a few story ideas in my head and sometimes I get lost in thought.”
“Okay. Well I really have to go to the bathroom, can you finish cutting those carrots?”
“Oh yeah, sure mom.” You reply.

Your mom leaves the kitchen leaving you alone with your thoughts and cutting up carrots. You increasingly become melancholy as you dwell on how things still suck for you and as you’re apt to do, you begin talking to yourself.

“(Sigh) Suzy, Suzy, Suzy, only you could find the negative out of the one relatively positive thing about thing about this fucked up week. Pull yourself together girl. You survived a hell of a lot worse than this. You wanted to be self-sufficient, we this is a good start. A fresh new world is your oyster and you’ve got plenty of opportunity…”

Suddenly you hear a phone ring. It’s the land phone on the kitchen wall. You walk over and nearly grab it immediately, but then you remember you’re not really supposed to be here.

However, you then notice the caller I.D.

Suzy.

You are compelled to pick up.

“Hello?” you answer.
“Hey. Mom? Is that you?” the voice on the other end says.

You pause. You never realized that you and your mother sounded so similar before.

“Yes, of course it’s me honey. Who else would it be?” you say.
“I dunno, you sound a little different. Might be that ratty old land phone you have though, I keep telling you to get a cell!”
“Oh you know me dear, your father and I are a bit set in our ways.”
“Don’t I know it. Ha ha! Nah, I know you guys really do try. So hey, I was just calling to let you know I’m coming a little bit earlier and I’ll probably be there sometime late tonight. Like probably after midnight.”
“You are?”
“Yes, like I said I just wanted to let you know so you guys don’t get too mad when I’m knocking on your door late at night waking you up…unless you want me to stay at the town’s motel until tomorrow morning. I know you guys go to bed early.”

It is at this moment that the dark idea your mind has been dancing around for quite some time isn’t going away and is now in full bloom.

If you just got rid of this Suzy, all your problems would be solved. You just have to muster the fortitude to do it…