Comments & Ratings
|I am living and breathing proof that some people's writing can be so awful It makes you want to blow your brains out. your story was so poorly written that there is literally only one thing in the world worse than this. And that is the infamous fanfic "My immortal" Jesus Christ man. I know that technically speaking every idea has already been thought up but you could at least combine two mediocre stories into one awesome story. That's how you get cool stuff like Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter and "hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" look man it's not very hard|
|Very terrible quality. I can't actually believe I made it through that crap. Seriously, though, I found it harder to read than play. I just have to add out of reluctant honest, that, this is probably worse than one of magic's...I'm not entirely sure, and I don't want to cause myself any more harm by returning to one of hers...I suppose I'll have to give this another point for actually finishing it, though, and adding that 'retry' button.|
|This story is not OMFG. It's retarded.|
|Anything you do kills you, and also what's up with all the damn insults when you die. Well here's an insult for you jerkward: your game sucks, your imagination sucks, your insulting ability sucks, YOU SUCK.|
|Pretty much everything you do kills you and you get insulted for it, well sorry for being in a game where you must die!|
|This sucked OMFG LOL!|
There is only ONE thing, I think I've seen so far that is WORSE than this.|
And not that I'd waste my time making something like this. But If I ever chose to do so.
...It would be a whole hell of a lot better.
Try being more, I don't know.
|I'm kind of obligated because you gave yourself a ten. I would put it in the 4 range otherwise.|
Not a whole lot I can say about this other than it's mostly just more of that no writing, short room, boring crap that shows up on here in droves and then is summarily voted down into the gutter of the site by the voting public. Try putting in some descriptions, and actual story, and characterizations, and more than one line per room... Hell, you might even try to get a paragraph or two in per page... I mean, don't strain yourself or anything, but it would sure be nice.|
Also, I would have been nice and given this story a rating of 2 if it wasn't for the cardinal sin of the author giving their own obviously inferior story a rating of 10. Tisk tisk. For that you have earned yourself a whopping 1... and I really don't give 1s or 10's easily, so you should feel honored.
|it was ok for your 1st story. funny too|
First of all - Yazzman, homer, and DEP should all be summarily executed for their complete and utter incompetance when it comes to rating this 'story'.|
Have you people lost your minds?
Or were you just fucking retarded to begin with, and I was too fucking drunk/depressed/insane to realize it? Maybe you guys are like Dustin Hoffman in 'Rainman'.
Well, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.
By anything. Hey 'strongbad', do us all a favor and...
I won't say it. Do what I wish everyone else would do, okay? Do what I wish everyone else would do.
Do what I wish I would do this very second.
Or at the very least, do not not write.
In the very least, do not right. And if you're feel in a chipper mood, go ahead and die for me.
I was looking for adjectives, but I couldn't find any. When you discover adjecctives your stories might be readable.|
Oh, and as to the "retry" option YazZMaN was raving over, when you end the story properly you have two "retry" options: "Go to Beginning" (pretty what you used), and "Go to last page". So the retry button just wasn't necessary in my opinion.
|Yeah not so good, even for a first story.|
It needs more description, more effort, and more storyline (unless you are trying to be this random). It gets a 6 because of the rather clever "retry" button which I've been hoping to see for some time now.|
Oh hell, since it's your first story, (I think) I'll knock it up to a 7.