Comments & Ratings
||Sep 16, 2011||Real shame the author stopped working on this. Wish he would at least let others work on it, as I felt it was a great concept. The story has massive potential.|
||Jun 27, 2010|
||Apr 12, 2007||this is grate but hunny you really need to add on to the story... its been this way for like a year!|
||Aug 5, 2005||
Let it be known, I have never wanted to give a story of mine a TEN so much in my LIFE as this one right now, but at this point... ah, it wouldn't really matter much.|
Suffice it to say, perhaps everyone who voted on it might have been better motivated to "ten me" had they known how highly I thought of this work. Then again, who knows? Fuck it.
||Aug 5, 2005||Wow, this story probably had more effort into it than any other story I've seen and the writing was very good but it got so confusing that it nearly made me lose my mind. Still, good job.|
||Aug 1, 2005||
The preceding note originally read, "the title of my best work" and then the parenthetical. I went back to review it before posting it and missed the first mention of title and edited it a tad so that it could be better understood. This, of course, made the end product to be a ridiculous, redundant mess.|
The only reason I bring this up is that I hate letting mistakes like that stand, but there is currently no "edit" function for this. So... yeah.
||Aug 1, 2005||
I think it should be noted (thanks to donteatpoop, who ironically called MY title "irritating") that the only reason my story is titled the way it is is that I enjoy the essence of language, down to its very roots. As English is a language of many different words from Latin, Greek, and other notable contributors (thanks, Noah Webster), I decided the title of my best work's title (which was to be this one) would be a conglomeration of different words, each pertaining to the story in some way.|
Therefore (for those who may have been wondering), "Verisimilivirate" is a mixture of "verisimilitude" (something that has the appearance of being true or real; e.g. - Fred, the universe and the god) and "triumvirate" (an association or a group of three; e.g. - Fred, Theos, and Diable). Maybe it's a bit of a stretch, but I liked it, and that's what's important.
If you think differently, foo-foo on you. If not, enjoy "Verisimilivirate".
||Jul 7, 2005||Outstanding work. Well written and entertaining. It's a cool concept that was enjoyable to read. Only reason this isn't a ten is becuase the title is irritating.|
||May 23, 2005||
I'd give it a ten, but I think a 9 encourages to write more anyway, this is great writing, as a reader I can visualise what is happening in the story by the descriptive detail you didn't leave out. Great story overall. Truelly one of the best in it's own originality. It's definitly a story the captures and captivates the readers attention. |
Have you though about writing either a short story or even a novella to test what your really capable of doing. You dont even have to have a goal of getting published but just to see what you can do I think would help develope your writing greater than what it all ready is.
I look foward to reading future stories you put out. Please keep them coming.
PS. sorry the review came a lil later after you messaged me.
ahhh what the heck, Ive decided to give it a ten anyways because it is deserved.
||May 22, 2005||
I'd like to thank everyone who takes/has taken the time to post a rating and/or comment about this story, as it is very special to me and your input is the constant spur I need to keep writing it. Thank you so much.|
- michaelrayholt 22May05
||Apr 26, 2005|
||Apr 24, 2005||
Totally perfect except for the first room, which did not lay the necessary information needed to explain what was going on.|
Otherwise totally awesome! AND it's anti-god! (I think). I chose to have the girls take off their clothes, of course.
The parts explaining the Fred universe are a tad confusing, but otherwise very well done.
Good show! And the reason I am not on your level is because I'm 14. I'll get better.
||Apr 23, 2005||I thought that was amazing, the description of Fred is orgasmic (Fred the world, not Fred himself). It was a very unique and interesting story and I hope you could create another one like it.|
||Apr 23, 2005||A theological story! That's a first for the site. Verisimilivirate is very enjoyable and well written. Being and Archangel with superhuman powers is a very cool concept. Keep on writing, this story could be really popular!|
||Apr 22, 2005||Verisimilivirate is well written, and it has nice long rooms and a story (as opposed to 'your in a room and u c sumthing, what u du?'). The plot is interesting has has plenty of possibilities, I look forward to reading more.|
||Apr 19, 2005||
I liked the beginning the best. Toward the middle my interest started tapering off. The dialogue with Fred is a little long. Still, it was imaginative. "Super Number One Fun Supreme Adventure Cool Extreme Fight - GO! ^^!" as they would say in Japan.|
Also, needs more mustard. Less catsup next time and just hold the onions. There are children present.
||Apr 18, 2005||
I really love the idea, it's really good and original. I also particularly enjoyed reading the description of Fred when all the colours appeared etc, that was excellent. The only critisisms that I have are:-|
The laid-back writing style is not always totally effective.
You capitalize too many words. Sorry, it just slightly irritates me. It also adds to the laid-back writing style.
Other than that, great job. I look forward to reading some more.