Escape The Fast Approaching Wave Of McDonald's Tartar Sauce
"No thanks," you kindly reply. Pulling a $20 bill out of your pocket, you ask if it's possible to get a haircut. She gladly takes you up on this offer.
"So, what kind of cut do you want," she enquires.
"Just a standard trim, and the sides buzzed a bit short."
"That's not a problem."
Suddenly, you hear footsteps from above.
"It's him. If he asks, you're just here for an appointment," she says with an almost sick sort of desperation, followed by an equally nervous laugh.
"Who?"
"Nothing. I think I may have said too much. I hope he didn't hear me."
The footsteps are getting closer, and you notice a set of legs coming down the stairs. You are overcome with a slight feeling of panic and confusion. As a large, balding, overweight male enters the room.
"GODDAMNIT, CHERYL! WHUDIDAH JUSSTHIS SECOND TELL YOU?"
"Dad, he's just here for an appointment! Really, this isn't what it looks like!"
"Thass whut yew sehd about thuh lass one'n' come tuh fahn out, yew dun be sleepin' around withat fuckin' sum'bitch!"
"But dad!"
"No buts, yung'n'unless it involves yew an' yer tung."
She coldly hisses at him, "He doesn't need to know what goes on at night here! Why do we always have this argument when you've been drinking?"
"Dun trah tuh mayk thiss'n out tuh be sumpin' it ain't, an ah gots no qualms about it'nyew know whutah mean!"
"Dad! Stop it, he's just here for an appointment!"
"Naw, he ain't, I dun saw yew been ah'n him fer thuh pass munth now, and ah..."
At this point, you interject, "Look, I don't know what's going on here, but both of you need some serious fucking help!"
"Duhnyew be gitt'n' lippy with me sunshahn, cuz'n'ahll dun do tuh yew what ah did to her lass'n. Since she can't keep it in thuh family, yewz'n'z best bet's to dun leave now!"
"Maybe you can come by for a haircut some other time?"
"So, what kind of cut do you want," she enquires.
"Just a standard trim, and the sides buzzed a bit short."
"That's not a problem."
Suddenly, you hear footsteps from above.
"It's him. If he asks, you're just here for an appointment," she says with an almost sick sort of desperation, followed by an equally nervous laugh.
"Who?"
"Nothing. I think I may have said too much. I hope he didn't hear me."
The footsteps are getting closer, and you notice a set of legs coming down the stairs. You are overcome with a slight feeling of panic and confusion. As a large, balding, overweight male enters the room.
"GODDAMNIT, CHERYL! WHUDIDAH JUSSTHIS SECOND TELL YOU?"
"Dad, he's just here for an appointment! Really, this isn't what it looks like!"
"Thass whut yew sehd about thuh lass one'n' come tuh fahn out, yew dun be sleepin' around withat fuckin' sum'bitch!"
"But dad!"
"No buts, yung'n'unless it involves yew an' yer tung."
She coldly hisses at him, "He doesn't need to know what goes on at night here! Why do we always have this argument when you've been drinking?"
"Dun trah tuh mayk thiss'n out tuh be sumpin' it ain't, an ah gots no qualms about it'nyew know whutah mean!"
"Dad! Stop it, he's just here for an appointment!"
"Naw, he ain't, I dun saw yew been ah'n him fer thuh pass munth now, and ah..."
At this point, you interject, "Look, I don't know what's going on here, but both of you need some serious fucking help!"
"Duhnyew be gitt'n' lippy with me sunshahn, cuz'n'ahll dun do tuh yew what ah did to her lass'n. Since she can't keep it in thuh family, yewz'n'z best bet's to dun leave now!"
"Maybe you can come by for a haircut some other time?"