Paco Valdez

You blunder into room 212 like the big drunken asshole that you are and collapse onto the hardwood floor with a heavy thud that reverberates throughout the sparsely furnished room. You moan for a moment or two before scampering around the floor like a blind beggar on all fours. You brave the darkness in search of a suitable place to fall asleep. Gus wakes up from all of your drunken clamboring and lights a lantern. He looks down at you with steely eyes narrowed in rage. "You good fer nothing drunkard!" he spouts angrily. "You're so roostered up you'll be hungover for a week you durn fool!"

Gus rises from his bed and kicks you a couple times in the head. Then he throws you a sheet and tells you to fall asleep before he kicks your teeth in for being a durned fool. You mumble something about pink bunnies and pass out.

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