A Renaissance Nightmare
You are frightened, but you know you have the equipment to slay this monster. You unsheathe your sword, and prepare for attack.
The monster comes charging at you without restraint. It opens its mouth and reveals four rows of razor-sharp teeth. Its long, sticky tongue is hanging out. This monster looks incredibly hungry.
You hold your own and wave your sword violently at the creature. It whimpers and falls back a few steps. You throw your sword at the monster in an attempt to pierce one of its eyes, but the sword flies straight over its head. Uh-oh, you’re in trouble. Now you have no weapon! But instead of attacking, the monster chases after the sword. Portland the monster picks up your steel with its enormous teeth and brings it straight back to you. Does this monster know how to play fetch? You throw the steel again, and once again the monster retrieves it for you. This monster isn’t as evil as it looks! Portland drops the sword at your feet and licks your face with a tongue as long as your forearm. You chuckle, and throw the sword again.
Finally, the dwarf reappears and says, “She’s quite the social animal, isn’t she? Well, if Portland likes you, then you must be alright. Portland, va chercher le con.” Portland scampers off and returns with a giant wooden cage in her mouth. Inside the cage is your beloved friend, Noraa.
“Noraa!” you exclaim. The dark dwarf releases your friend to your custody and commands, “Just stay out of my woods, and we won’t have any more problems, you hear?”
The monster comes charging at you without restraint. It opens its mouth and reveals four rows of razor-sharp teeth. Its long, sticky tongue is hanging out. This monster looks incredibly hungry.
You hold your own and wave your sword violently at the creature. It whimpers and falls back a few steps. You throw your sword at the monster in an attempt to pierce one of its eyes, but the sword flies straight over its head. Uh-oh, you’re in trouble. Now you have no weapon! But instead of attacking, the monster chases after the sword. Portland the monster picks up your steel with its enormous teeth and brings it straight back to you. Does this monster know how to play fetch? You throw the steel again, and once again the monster retrieves it for you. This monster isn’t as evil as it looks! Portland drops the sword at your feet and licks your face with a tongue as long as your forearm. You chuckle, and throw the sword again.
Finally, the dwarf reappears and says, “She’s quite the social animal, isn’t she? Well, if Portland likes you, then you must be alright. Portland, va chercher le con.” Portland scampers off and returns with a giant wooden cage in her mouth. Inside the cage is your beloved friend, Noraa.
“Noraa!” you exclaim. The dark dwarf releases your friend to your custody and commands, “Just stay out of my woods, and we won’t have any more problems, you hear?”