Suzy’s Strange Saga
“Hey Jack, is that outhouse large enough to prop up a spear inside it?”
“Um, I think so. Why? You taking one of those instead of the bat?”
“Yeah, I was remembering something I watched once talking about how the spear was an easy weapon to learn how to use even for someone completely unskilled which is why it was used so much in ancient and medieval wars amongst infantry. I’m just thinking I’d probably want something like that with me instead of a bat if we encounter a bear or something I want to keep at a distance.”
Jack looks at you a bit impressed.
“Well, look at you. Suzy, warrior princess over here. You said you didn’t know anything.” Jack says smiling.
You take the spear and then look over at the shield.
“Jack, help me get that shield down from the wall.” You say.
“What?” Jack responds.
“I want to take the shield with me too.”
“Suzy, you’re just going to the bathroom, not to war!”
“Hey you said it yourself, we still don’t know what this place is all about and I want to feel as secure as possible, so if that means carrying around a shield, then that’s what I’m going to do!”
“…alright…” Jack says and then proceeds to grab the circular shield down from the wall and then hands it to you.
The shield isn’t light and is made of strong thick wood; you definitely feel the weight just holding the thing.
“You sure you don’t want the sword too?” Jack asks.
“Nah, I think this is all I can carry. The shield is definitely heavier than I thought it would be.”
“I really don’t think you’re going to need that.” Jack says wrapping a fur around himself and grabbing the axe he brought with him from the Gray Building.
“And like I said, it makes me feel better. Come on let’s go.”
Upon exiting the cabin you see the sun shining down and you feel the cold wind blow.
“Shit, even with these furs on I forgot how cold it was.” You say.
“We’ll get another big fire started when we get back.” Jack says.
“I’ll look forward to it, so which way?”
“Oh to the left and then past some trees, it’s not hard to find.”
You and Jack make your way to the infamous outhouse. You both look around periodically, but see nothing dangerous. When Jack’s not looking around, he’s studying you.
“So you ready to fight the Persians?” Jack asks with a smirk.
“I dunno, but I have to say I do feel rather empowered.” You reply.
Eventually you get to your goal and it looks exactly like you thought it would.
“Well this is it.” You say unenthusiastically.
“Your shield is going to be kind of bulky, leave it out here with me. Unless you plan on getting attacked from below and if that’s the case, a shield isn’t going to help.”
“Fuck, now I’m going to be worrying about something lurking down there and reaching up to grab me. Thanks a lot!” you say and give the shield to Jack.
You enter the outhouse and endure the unavoidable. Thankfully Jack makes no attempt to speak or make jokes to you while you’re inside.
Eventually you come out and start putting your hands in the snow. Jack watches you and then goes back to looking around.
“Well, wasn’t as bad as I thought, I’m still missing modern plumbing though. Wish we had soap too.” You say.
“I guess if you want to sanitize your hands even more I suppose you could pour some of that mead we have at the cabin on them.”
“Will that work?”
“It’s got alcohol in it, I assume it can’t hurt. You ready to go Valkyrie?” Jack asks and hands you back your shield.
“Yeah, you see anything out here?”
“Nah, just a few more of those white rabbits I always see hopping around.”
As you and Jack make your way back to the cabin, you and he speak on if either one of you knows anything about hunting. You of course know nothing, Jack says he’s not much better, though he thinks maybe you both could start making simple traps or something, especially given that there are obviously rabbits around here to be caught.
“Wish we had the Internet so we could at least look all this shit up. God, I really miss the Internet…I think this is the longest I’ve been without it and I suppose those days are over as well.” You say as you approach the cabin.
“Oh, you don’t know. We’re still just stuck out here in the wilderness, like I said, maybe there is Internet and hover cars somewhere else.”
“Love that optimism Jack…” you say chuckling and heading towards the door.
“Hey Suzy, wait is that blood in the snow?”
You and Jack both stop a few feet away from the cabin, you’re still closest to the door, which suddenly swings open, instinctively you put the shield up to cover yourself as much as you can.
Before you, you see a man with a good amount of facial hair and wearing several furs and clothing much more suited for this sort of weather.
He’s not completely standing upright, but is in a somewhat stooped position as if wounded which judging from the blood in the snow is probably the case. While it’s difficult to tell his facial expression due to the hair, his eyes are wide as if he’s surprised, desperate or possibly even afraid. Maybe a mixture of all three.
The major thing you see however is the crossbow he’s holding and pointing at you and Jack.
The man shouts something at you in a language you don’t understand and fires, but fortunately you had the shield in front of you and the bolt is prevented from hitting your body and merely goes stops half way through the shield instead.
There is the smallest pause in this encounter where you realize that you just came close to being killed again, Jack realizing you nearly came close to being killed and the man realizing he’s failed to kill you.
The man quickly backs inside and hastily attempts to reload his crossbow, meanwhile you don’t think about your near death experience and just act. You charge forward with the shield up and the spear out. You even start screaming like you’re in an action movie.
Your charge is stopped when you hit the man full on. The spear sinks into his body and he cries out in pain dropping the crossbow. You attempt to pull the spear as hard as you can back out, but it isn’t easy because the man keeps you from doing so by gripping the top of the shaft and the man still has enough strength to grab the knife on his side with his other hand.
Fortunately he can’t quite reach you and swings helplessly with one hand. Since you can’t pull the spear out, you instead start wiggling it to the left and right no doubt adding to the pain as well as internal organ damage. The man once again screams in agony and lets go of the spear allowing you to pull it out. He falls to the floor.
Jack who was having difficulty in getting around you before finally succeeds so he can get in closer to swing his axe down at the man on the floor.
“Suzy, hang on I can…agh!” Jack exclaims as the man desperately slashes at the closest leg to him with his knife, which happened to be Jack’s. This causes Jack to reel back and nearly stumble into the fireplace. Fortunately he only falls into a small pile of logs for the fireplace.
You press your advantage by stepping up and attempting to plunge the spear into the man’s neck, but he manages to dodge and you only hit the floor. He grabs the shaft of the spear again in an attempt to keep you from using it. He’s got a weak one-handed grasp though.
“Um, I think so. Why? You taking one of those instead of the bat?”
“Yeah, I was remembering something I watched once talking about how the spear was an easy weapon to learn how to use even for someone completely unskilled which is why it was used so much in ancient and medieval wars amongst infantry. I’m just thinking I’d probably want something like that with me instead of a bat if we encounter a bear or something I want to keep at a distance.”
Jack looks at you a bit impressed.
“Well, look at you. Suzy, warrior princess over here. You said you didn’t know anything.” Jack says smiling.
You take the spear and then look over at the shield.
“Jack, help me get that shield down from the wall.” You say.
“What?” Jack responds.
“I want to take the shield with me too.”
“Suzy, you’re just going to the bathroom, not to war!”
“Hey you said it yourself, we still don’t know what this place is all about and I want to feel as secure as possible, so if that means carrying around a shield, then that’s what I’m going to do!”
“…alright…” Jack says and then proceeds to grab the circular shield down from the wall and then hands it to you.
The shield isn’t light and is made of strong thick wood; you definitely feel the weight just holding the thing.
“You sure you don’t want the sword too?” Jack asks.
“Nah, I think this is all I can carry. The shield is definitely heavier than I thought it would be.”
“I really don’t think you’re going to need that.” Jack says wrapping a fur around himself and grabbing the axe he brought with him from the Gray Building.
“And like I said, it makes me feel better. Come on let’s go.”
Upon exiting the cabin you see the sun shining down and you feel the cold wind blow.
“Shit, even with these furs on I forgot how cold it was.” You say.
“We’ll get another big fire started when we get back.” Jack says.
“I’ll look forward to it, so which way?”
“Oh to the left and then past some trees, it’s not hard to find.”
You and Jack make your way to the infamous outhouse. You both look around periodically, but see nothing dangerous. When Jack’s not looking around, he’s studying you.
“So you ready to fight the Persians?” Jack asks with a smirk.
“I dunno, but I have to say I do feel rather empowered.” You reply.
Eventually you get to your goal and it looks exactly like you thought it would.
“Well this is it.” You say unenthusiastically.
“Your shield is going to be kind of bulky, leave it out here with me. Unless you plan on getting attacked from below and if that’s the case, a shield isn’t going to help.”
“Fuck, now I’m going to be worrying about something lurking down there and reaching up to grab me. Thanks a lot!” you say and give the shield to Jack.
You enter the outhouse and endure the unavoidable. Thankfully Jack makes no attempt to speak or make jokes to you while you’re inside.
Eventually you come out and start putting your hands in the snow. Jack watches you and then goes back to looking around.
“Well, wasn’t as bad as I thought, I’m still missing modern plumbing though. Wish we had soap too.” You say.
“I guess if you want to sanitize your hands even more I suppose you could pour some of that mead we have at the cabin on them.”
“Will that work?”
“It’s got alcohol in it, I assume it can’t hurt. You ready to go Valkyrie?” Jack asks and hands you back your shield.
“Yeah, you see anything out here?”
“Nah, just a few more of those white rabbits I always see hopping around.”
As you and Jack make your way back to the cabin, you and he speak on if either one of you knows anything about hunting. You of course know nothing, Jack says he’s not much better, though he thinks maybe you both could start making simple traps or something, especially given that there are obviously rabbits around here to be caught.
“Wish we had the Internet so we could at least look all this shit up. God, I really miss the Internet…I think this is the longest I’ve been without it and I suppose those days are over as well.” You say as you approach the cabin.
“Oh, you don’t know. We’re still just stuck out here in the wilderness, like I said, maybe there is Internet and hover cars somewhere else.”
“Love that optimism Jack…” you say chuckling and heading towards the door.
“Hey Suzy, wait is that blood in the snow?”
You and Jack both stop a few feet away from the cabin, you’re still closest to the door, which suddenly swings open, instinctively you put the shield up to cover yourself as much as you can.
Before you, you see a man with a good amount of facial hair and wearing several furs and clothing much more suited for this sort of weather.
He’s not completely standing upright, but is in a somewhat stooped position as if wounded which judging from the blood in the snow is probably the case. While it’s difficult to tell his facial expression due to the hair, his eyes are wide as if he’s surprised, desperate or possibly even afraid. Maybe a mixture of all three.
The major thing you see however is the crossbow he’s holding and pointing at you and Jack.
The man shouts something at you in a language you don’t understand and fires, but fortunately you had the shield in front of you and the bolt is prevented from hitting your body and merely goes stops half way through the shield instead.
There is the smallest pause in this encounter where you realize that you just came close to being killed again, Jack realizing you nearly came close to being killed and the man realizing he’s failed to kill you.
The man quickly backs inside and hastily attempts to reload his crossbow, meanwhile you don’t think about your near death experience and just act. You charge forward with the shield up and the spear out. You even start screaming like you’re in an action movie.
Your charge is stopped when you hit the man full on. The spear sinks into his body and he cries out in pain dropping the crossbow. You attempt to pull the spear as hard as you can back out, but it isn’t easy because the man keeps you from doing so by gripping the top of the shaft and the man still has enough strength to grab the knife on his side with his other hand.
Fortunately he can’t quite reach you and swings helplessly with one hand. Since you can’t pull the spear out, you instead start wiggling it to the left and right no doubt adding to the pain as well as internal organ damage. The man once again screams in agony and lets go of the spear allowing you to pull it out. He falls to the floor.
Jack who was having difficulty in getting around you before finally succeeds so he can get in closer to swing his axe down at the man on the floor.
“Suzy, hang on I can…agh!” Jack exclaims as the man desperately slashes at the closest leg to him with his knife, which happened to be Jack’s. This causes Jack to reel back and nearly stumble into the fireplace. Fortunately he only falls into a small pile of logs for the fireplace.
You press your advantage by stepping up and attempting to plunge the spear into the man’s neck, but he manages to dodge and you only hit the floor. He grabs the shaft of the spear again in an attempt to keep you from using it. He’s got a weak one-handed grasp though.