Suzy’s Strange Saga
If you’re going to do this, you need to be all in right now. You feel slightly bad about essentially stealing Peter’s car, but you figure you can call him later and he can get someone to drive him over to pick it up. (Assuming he doesn’t call you first)
As for Bobby you’re not going to bother. You’ve come to the conclusion that you and he have too many differences to make it work and that this final break up has been a long time coming. Calling him would just make you fall for his charms and hinder your own goals and you can’t have that happen.
“Mr. Roofie, I’ll be staying.” You say.
“Okay, great. We’ll be opening up soon, dunno if anyone’s actually going to show up, but you might as well get out there and wander around to make this place look festive.”
“Did you want me to change, you said something about this outfit being too much?”
“Eh…don’t bother. I’m thinkin’ it’s an appropriate look for you. Like I said, you might have to put up with some cat calling from some of the cruder employees here, but that’s about it. And if anyone starts getting out of line with you, be they carnie or rube, let me know about it. Trust me it’ll be taken care of immediately. This carnival might be on its last legs, but I’ll be damned if it’ll descend into anarchy. My dad didn’t work and sacrifice all those years for nothing.” Roofie says.
“Your dad owned this carnival? Was he a clown too?” you ask.
“Heh, no. He was a geek and I don’t mean in the lovable nerd sense either. I mean he was a bonafide circus geek. Ate all manner of disgusting things to bring in the customers. Raw animal organs, heads of chickens, rotten food, you name it. He always told me though he was drunk most of the time so it wasn’t quite as bad as you’d think. Fortunately he didn’t stay a circus geek though. Apparently he helped the original ringmaster with something very important and after that happened my dad got a better job around here as the ringmaster’s assistant.”
“What did he help the ringmaster with?”
“Dunno exactly. Like I said, my dad was drinking a lot heavier during those geek days. He said it had to do with a power struggle within the circus, but he couldn’t quite remember all the details. In any event when the original ring master one day decided it was time to move on to something else my dad got control of the circus. Kept it going too despite the changing times. I’ve tried to follow in his footsteps, but so far the only thing I’ve succeeded at is the drinking part.”
Roofie takes a drink from a nearby bottle after this statement.
“So, uh what made you become a clown?” you ask.
“I dunno, I was trying to help out I guess. Y’see my dad had to raise me himself since my mom died giving birth to me and I guess when I got old enough I felt I should contribute for all the extra burden I put on him.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“Hm, well all I know about her is that she was a runaway that joined up with the circus shortly after my dad took over as owner. Anyway, for a while, this circus didn’t have a single clown. Apparently it did a long time ago, but my dad said there were some horror stories about them and they were eventually…let go. Despite this circus’ odd apprehension about having clowns again I convinced my dad that it would be a good idea to have clowns. So he gave me a shot and it worked. Rest is history, anyway that’s enough story time you’ve got your own clown work to do, so get to it.”
You take your leave and re-assure that you’ll do everything in your power to keep people entertained.
No sooner have you left Roofie’s tent when you’re nabbed by a couple of the other clowns, this time they’re full clown uniform.
“Hey tulip we’ve been lookin’ for ya. If you’re staying, we’re going to need to polish up our routine.” One of them says.
“Yeah, and after that, you can polish something else. Ha ha ha ha ha!” says another which causes some snickering from the others.
“Could you please not talk that way to me?” you ask politely.
“Awww are you sensitive? You’re such a delicate pretty little flower aren’t you?” the clown who made the polishing comment says.
“Sheesh, Ranko don’t be a fucking asshole. Don’t mind him sweetheart he’s never been this close to a woman before.” Another clown says.
“Fuck you Klepto and stop playing white knight. You’re not foolin’ anyone. You know damn well you got a raging boner for this little blonde number too. Am I right fellas?”
This gets a small positive acknowledgement by the other clowns, including Klepto who chuckles while confessing his transparent white knighting. Once again you’re starting to wonder if this is going to be worth it.
Is this what its always going to be like? You haven’t even been officially an employee five minutes and you’re already getting subjected to dirty innuendo and harassment. You know Roofie tried to assure you that nothing is going happen and that if someone did try anything you could let him know, but really though you don’t want to have to feel like you have to go running to him like a tattletale every time.
If you could brave your serial killer uncle and your cultist ex-boyfriend, you can certainly handle some loutish clowns. In fact you start thinking about all the times Kelly has verbally abused you and you begin to get angry. You channel some of that anger that you have for her and direct it towards your new co-workers.
“Ranko, I’m guessing that’s your name due to the bad breath your giving off right now. It smells like shit which still makes it about two steps higher than you look.” You say, which catches him off guard and stops the others from laughing. Before Ranko can retort you continue.
“Your name oughta be Zero, because that’s exactly how far you’re ever going to get with me. The same goes for the rest of you fucktards! Just because I’m new here doesn’t mean I’m just going to take your fucking abuse!”
For a moment there’s silence and even some of the nearby employees look on wondering what the rest a going to do. Ranko is the only one who says anything though.
“Hmm, looks like the delicate flower has a few thorns. That’s okay though. I like a little spirit, keeps things interesting. In any case we still need to go over the routine so if you’re done bitching at all of us, let’s go.” He says and motions everyone to follow.
You’re slightly apprehensive about following this group anywhere, but there’s little else for it since these are going to be your coworkers. You can only hope that in time they’ll see you as something other than an outlet for their lust.
As you walk to the location you scan the rest of the carnival, which mostly consists of a lot of game barker types setting up their crooked games. You do see a few stages where the more traditional sword swallower and fire eater types are preparing themselves. This being a circus and the fact that Roofie said his father was a geek, you can’t help but wonder if there are any “freaks” anywhere.
“Hey just wondering are their any Siamese Twins around here or something?” you ask trying to break up the silence.
“Siamese Twins? Way to be racist darlin’. Ha ha, nah just fuckin’ with ya, but I believe the correct term is conjoined twins and no we don’t have any. There haven’t been any freaks in this carnival for decades now. I heard back in the day there were a lot of them here though. Cyclopes, pinheads, four arms abominations of nature, you name it.” Ranko remarks.
“How come there aren’t any here anymore?”
“Well because we live in a developed country that has access to modern medicine nowadays? I mean most of those freaks were just unlucky bastards that rolled low on the genetics chart when they were born. Thanks to modern medicine they can correct that shit now y’know? Plus you’ve got all those politically correct types going on about exploitation or some shit. Also if someone IS a genetic freak of nature they can just go on a talk show or the Internet and make money that way. Nope, the time of the sideshow freak has long since passed. I mean sure you get the self made freaks like tattooed and pierced folks, but that’s not really the same and it isn’t even shocking anymore especially when you’ve got people cutting their dicks off or shoving glass jars up their ass for free on the net. The best you’re going to get around here to freaks are the midgets and they’re a dime a dozen, no offense Shrimpy.” Ranko says referring to the dwarf clown.
“Fuck you too Ranko.” Shrimpy remarks.
Soon you get to an open location near a couple trailers where Ranko says you’re all going to go through the routine. It’s pretty much like how you first went through it, but you notice several of the clowns are getting a little bit more grabby now.
“Alright, stop, stop. You assholes are supposed to be trying to woo me and fighting with each other, not attempting to gang rape me! I feel one more hand trying to grab my ass and they’re losing it!” you say.
“Oh for fuck’s sake according to you whatever we do is offensive. I’m just thinking of a way to keep the routine fresh. It’ll be funny!” Ranko says.
“Fresh? We haven’t even performed it for people yet! Besides isn’t this supposed to be a family show? The way Roofie suggested will be fine.”
“That old drunk doesn’t even perform anymore, he’s too busy running this carnival into the fucking ground. He’s so fucking out of touch its ridiculous. Kids these days are watching hardcore anal porn as soon as they can log on to the Internet nowadays, so I doubt if a couple of clowns grabbing your ass is even going to register.” Ranko says.
At this point Ranko is starting to get more hostile. Your continued defiance of not wanting to be a squeeze toy is getting to him. Despite Roofie being the owner, it’s obvious that this Ranko is the “ring leader” of the clowns and he’s going to be a dick no matter what. Continuing to antagonize his authority is going to just result in unifying the rest to his side, so you try something else.
“All right Ranko, you want this routine to incorporate a little more risqué business fine, but you’re going about it the wrong way. You’ve got no style.”
“Oh? Only been a clown for a few hours and you’re already an expert eh? Well go on and enlighten us all then sweetheart.”
“Well for one thing Shrimpy should be trying to look under my dress whenever he can due to his size.” You say.
“Wait what?” Ranko asks.
“Hey, I’m liking her ideas already!” Shrimpy exclaims.
“You all still need to play to your traits, don’t you see? You, Lifto. You’re the biggest of the lot so you should be relying on feats of strength in order to impress me like picking me up in your arms.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.” Lifto remarks.
You go through what the rest of the clowns should be doing and they’re remarkably receptive to you and your ideas. You come up with a whole new routine where they each attempt to charm you and how they fail either due to their own ineptness or another clown sabotaging them. The only one who’s not liking this idea is Ranko.
“Hey, hey, hey, what about me? Where do I fit in?” Ranko demands.
“You? Well I figured you’d be that completely disgusting suitor that never even gets close to being charming seeing as you’re already pretty good in that role. You can be an ongoing participant that gets constantly beat down by the others. Lifto hits you with a mallet, Klepto steals your pants, Shrimpy gives you a hot foot…you know clown stuff. It’ll be funny.” You say snidely much to Ranko’s chagrin.
“Oh no, you’re not turning my crew against me! I’M head clown around here not some bottle blonde split tail! We’re not agreeing to this shit!” Ranko shouts.
“Speak for yourself Ranko.” Klepto says.
“Yeah, I kinda like this idea better, my bit doesn’t seem to rely on as much movement on my part.” Fatty remarks.
“You’re just pissed that a newbie took your idea and made it work against you.” Shrimpy adds.
Ranko at this point begins ranting and raving at everyone. He unleashed a torrent of swears that causes the whole carnival to take notice. He calls you a bitch and the rest of them pussy whipped.
“That’s it, I’m done with this fucking loser carnival and the rest of you losers as well! I’m fucking RANKO the goddamn clown! I can get a job anywhere! Enjoy living in obscurity with miss frigid over here!” Ranko exclaims and storms off in a huff.
“Good riddance rank breath! And I’m a goddamn natural blonde, you asshole!” you shout as he continues to walk away.
You have to say this plunge into assertiveness has given you a bit of a rush. You like it. When you go back to going through the routine with the others and you notice a decrease in your former uneasiness. The “boys” are still doing a lot of leering and the routine is a little more physical now, but something is different this time. Namely you feel more in control of the situation and that’s probably because you are.
“Wow, I really was wasting my natural talent.” You think to yourself.
In the middle of the routine, Roofie shows up.
“Well this looks…friendly.” He remarks as Lifto is in the middle of setting you back down on the ground.
“Just going through the tweaked routine boss. It was the new girl’s idea!” Klepto remarks.
“Yeah, it’s going to be good.” Shrimpy adds.
“Hrm. Well let’s at least try to keep everyone’s clothing on shall we?”
“Of course! There isn’t going to be any of that. Just going to keep it entertaining for the adult audience too.” You say.
“Couldn’t help notice Ranko swearing like a sailor and stomping away from the carnival. Ranting about how he’s never coming back. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?”
“Not really boss. He just couldn’t keep up with the recent changes around here I guess.” You say,
Roofie smirks a bit.
“Heh, okay. Well I’m not going to lose any sleep not having to pay that asshole anymore. In any case, saw a few people actually driving up. Look like actual customers, so you guys need to go do your stuff for the crowds.”
The rest of the day goes pretty well for you. You and the rest entertain the small crowds (who seem to be mostly from the trailer park community just outside of your town.) that do show up.
By the end of the night you’re actually pretty tired and anxious to just flop down somewhere to sleep. Roofie says that thanks to Ranko leaving, his trailer is now empty and says that you can have it if you’re willing to ignore the mess he probably left it in. You accept the offer since it’ll be better than sleeping in Peter’s car.
And its at that point you forgot to call Peter back to let him know to pick his car up!
You check your phone and see that Peter did indeed try to get a hold of you, and once again Bobby left a bunch of texts and messages as well. You’re too tired to even bother to read them.
You try to call Peter back, but you get no answer. Probably doing god knows what. You’ll try again tomorrow, for now you enter Ranko’s trailer and breath a sigh of relief that the place isn’t a health hazard and lie down on his bed.
As you drift off to sleep you chuckle at the irony that Ranko wanted to get you into his bed really badly and all it took was for him to leave.
As for Bobby you’re not going to bother. You’ve come to the conclusion that you and he have too many differences to make it work and that this final break up has been a long time coming. Calling him would just make you fall for his charms and hinder your own goals and you can’t have that happen.
“Mr. Roofie, I’ll be staying.” You say.
“Okay, great. We’ll be opening up soon, dunno if anyone’s actually going to show up, but you might as well get out there and wander around to make this place look festive.”
“Did you want me to change, you said something about this outfit being too much?”
“Eh…don’t bother. I’m thinkin’ it’s an appropriate look for you. Like I said, you might have to put up with some cat calling from some of the cruder employees here, but that’s about it. And if anyone starts getting out of line with you, be they carnie or rube, let me know about it. Trust me it’ll be taken care of immediately. This carnival might be on its last legs, but I’ll be damned if it’ll descend into anarchy. My dad didn’t work and sacrifice all those years for nothing.” Roofie says.
“Your dad owned this carnival? Was he a clown too?” you ask.
“Heh, no. He was a geek and I don’t mean in the lovable nerd sense either. I mean he was a bonafide circus geek. Ate all manner of disgusting things to bring in the customers. Raw animal organs, heads of chickens, rotten food, you name it. He always told me though he was drunk most of the time so it wasn’t quite as bad as you’d think. Fortunately he didn’t stay a circus geek though. Apparently he helped the original ringmaster with something very important and after that happened my dad got a better job around here as the ringmaster’s assistant.”
“What did he help the ringmaster with?”
“Dunno exactly. Like I said, my dad was drinking a lot heavier during those geek days. He said it had to do with a power struggle within the circus, but he couldn’t quite remember all the details. In any event when the original ring master one day decided it was time to move on to something else my dad got control of the circus. Kept it going too despite the changing times. I’ve tried to follow in his footsteps, but so far the only thing I’ve succeeded at is the drinking part.”
Roofie takes a drink from a nearby bottle after this statement.
“So, uh what made you become a clown?” you ask.
“I dunno, I was trying to help out I guess. Y’see my dad had to raise me himself since my mom died giving birth to me and I guess when I got old enough I felt I should contribute for all the extra burden I put on him.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“Hm, well all I know about her is that she was a runaway that joined up with the circus shortly after my dad took over as owner. Anyway, for a while, this circus didn’t have a single clown. Apparently it did a long time ago, but my dad said there were some horror stories about them and they were eventually…let go. Despite this circus’ odd apprehension about having clowns again I convinced my dad that it would be a good idea to have clowns. So he gave me a shot and it worked. Rest is history, anyway that’s enough story time you’ve got your own clown work to do, so get to it.”
You take your leave and re-assure that you’ll do everything in your power to keep people entertained.
No sooner have you left Roofie’s tent when you’re nabbed by a couple of the other clowns, this time they’re full clown uniform.
“Hey tulip we’ve been lookin’ for ya. If you’re staying, we’re going to need to polish up our routine.” One of them says.
“Yeah, and after that, you can polish something else. Ha ha ha ha ha!” says another which causes some snickering from the others.
“Could you please not talk that way to me?” you ask politely.
“Awww are you sensitive? You’re such a delicate pretty little flower aren’t you?” the clown who made the polishing comment says.
“Sheesh, Ranko don’t be a fucking asshole. Don’t mind him sweetheart he’s never been this close to a woman before.” Another clown says.
“Fuck you Klepto and stop playing white knight. You’re not foolin’ anyone. You know damn well you got a raging boner for this little blonde number too. Am I right fellas?”
This gets a small positive acknowledgement by the other clowns, including Klepto who chuckles while confessing his transparent white knighting. Once again you’re starting to wonder if this is going to be worth it.
Is this what its always going to be like? You haven’t even been officially an employee five minutes and you’re already getting subjected to dirty innuendo and harassment. You know Roofie tried to assure you that nothing is going happen and that if someone did try anything you could let him know, but really though you don’t want to have to feel like you have to go running to him like a tattletale every time.
If you could brave your serial killer uncle and your cultist ex-boyfriend, you can certainly handle some loutish clowns. In fact you start thinking about all the times Kelly has verbally abused you and you begin to get angry. You channel some of that anger that you have for her and direct it towards your new co-workers.
“Ranko, I’m guessing that’s your name due to the bad breath your giving off right now. It smells like shit which still makes it about two steps higher than you look.” You say, which catches him off guard and stops the others from laughing. Before Ranko can retort you continue.
“Your name oughta be Zero, because that’s exactly how far you’re ever going to get with me. The same goes for the rest of you fucktards! Just because I’m new here doesn’t mean I’m just going to take your fucking abuse!”
For a moment there’s silence and even some of the nearby employees look on wondering what the rest a going to do. Ranko is the only one who says anything though.
“Hmm, looks like the delicate flower has a few thorns. That’s okay though. I like a little spirit, keeps things interesting. In any case we still need to go over the routine so if you’re done bitching at all of us, let’s go.” He says and motions everyone to follow.
You’re slightly apprehensive about following this group anywhere, but there’s little else for it since these are going to be your coworkers. You can only hope that in time they’ll see you as something other than an outlet for their lust.
As you walk to the location you scan the rest of the carnival, which mostly consists of a lot of game barker types setting up their crooked games. You do see a few stages where the more traditional sword swallower and fire eater types are preparing themselves. This being a circus and the fact that Roofie said his father was a geek, you can’t help but wonder if there are any “freaks” anywhere.
“Hey just wondering are their any Siamese Twins around here or something?” you ask trying to break up the silence.
“Siamese Twins? Way to be racist darlin’. Ha ha, nah just fuckin’ with ya, but I believe the correct term is conjoined twins and no we don’t have any. There haven’t been any freaks in this carnival for decades now. I heard back in the day there were a lot of them here though. Cyclopes, pinheads, four arms abominations of nature, you name it.” Ranko remarks.
“How come there aren’t any here anymore?”
“Well because we live in a developed country that has access to modern medicine nowadays? I mean most of those freaks were just unlucky bastards that rolled low on the genetics chart when they were born. Thanks to modern medicine they can correct that shit now y’know? Plus you’ve got all those politically correct types going on about exploitation or some shit. Also if someone IS a genetic freak of nature they can just go on a talk show or the Internet and make money that way. Nope, the time of the sideshow freak has long since passed. I mean sure you get the self made freaks like tattooed and pierced folks, but that’s not really the same and it isn’t even shocking anymore especially when you’ve got people cutting their dicks off or shoving glass jars up their ass for free on the net. The best you’re going to get around here to freaks are the midgets and they’re a dime a dozen, no offense Shrimpy.” Ranko says referring to the dwarf clown.
“Fuck you too Ranko.” Shrimpy remarks.
Soon you get to an open location near a couple trailers where Ranko says you’re all going to go through the routine. It’s pretty much like how you first went through it, but you notice several of the clowns are getting a little bit more grabby now.
“Alright, stop, stop. You assholes are supposed to be trying to woo me and fighting with each other, not attempting to gang rape me! I feel one more hand trying to grab my ass and they’re losing it!” you say.
“Oh for fuck’s sake according to you whatever we do is offensive. I’m just thinking of a way to keep the routine fresh. It’ll be funny!” Ranko says.
“Fresh? We haven’t even performed it for people yet! Besides isn’t this supposed to be a family show? The way Roofie suggested will be fine.”
“That old drunk doesn’t even perform anymore, he’s too busy running this carnival into the fucking ground. He’s so fucking out of touch its ridiculous. Kids these days are watching hardcore anal porn as soon as they can log on to the Internet nowadays, so I doubt if a couple of clowns grabbing your ass is even going to register.” Ranko says.
At this point Ranko is starting to get more hostile. Your continued defiance of not wanting to be a squeeze toy is getting to him. Despite Roofie being the owner, it’s obvious that this Ranko is the “ring leader” of the clowns and he’s going to be a dick no matter what. Continuing to antagonize his authority is going to just result in unifying the rest to his side, so you try something else.
“All right Ranko, you want this routine to incorporate a little more risqué business fine, but you’re going about it the wrong way. You’ve got no style.”
“Oh? Only been a clown for a few hours and you’re already an expert eh? Well go on and enlighten us all then sweetheart.”
“Well for one thing Shrimpy should be trying to look under my dress whenever he can due to his size.” You say.
“Wait what?” Ranko asks.
“Hey, I’m liking her ideas already!” Shrimpy exclaims.
“You all still need to play to your traits, don’t you see? You, Lifto. You’re the biggest of the lot so you should be relying on feats of strength in order to impress me like picking me up in your arms.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.” Lifto remarks.
You go through what the rest of the clowns should be doing and they’re remarkably receptive to you and your ideas. You come up with a whole new routine where they each attempt to charm you and how they fail either due to their own ineptness or another clown sabotaging them. The only one who’s not liking this idea is Ranko.
“Hey, hey, hey, what about me? Where do I fit in?” Ranko demands.
“You? Well I figured you’d be that completely disgusting suitor that never even gets close to being charming seeing as you’re already pretty good in that role. You can be an ongoing participant that gets constantly beat down by the others. Lifto hits you with a mallet, Klepto steals your pants, Shrimpy gives you a hot foot…you know clown stuff. It’ll be funny.” You say snidely much to Ranko’s chagrin.
“Oh no, you’re not turning my crew against me! I’M head clown around here not some bottle blonde split tail! We’re not agreeing to this shit!” Ranko shouts.
“Speak for yourself Ranko.” Klepto says.
“Yeah, I kinda like this idea better, my bit doesn’t seem to rely on as much movement on my part.” Fatty remarks.
“You’re just pissed that a newbie took your idea and made it work against you.” Shrimpy adds.
Ranko at this point begins ranting and raving at everyone. He unleashed a torrent of swears that causes the whole carnival to take notice. He calls you a bitch and the rest of them pussy whipped.
“That’s it, I’m done with this fucking loser carnival and the rest of you losers as well! I’m fucking RANKO the goddamn clown! I can get a job anywhere! Enjoy living in obscurity with miss frigid over here!” Ranko exclaims and storms off in a huff.
“Good riddance rank breath! And I’m a goddamn natural blonde, you asshole!” you shout as he continues to walk away.
You have to say this plunge into assertiveness has given you a bit of a rush. You like it. When you go back to going through the routine with the others and you notice a decrease in your former uneasiness. The “boys” are still doing a lot of leering and the routine is a little more physical now, but something is different this time. Namely you feel more in control of the situation and that’s probably because you are.
“Wow, I really was wasting my natural talent.” You think to yourself.
In the middle of the routine, Roofie shows up.
“Well this looks…friendly.” He remarks as Lifto is in the middle of setting you back down on the ground.
“Just going through the tweaked routine boss. It was the new girl’s idea!” Klepto remarks.
“Yeah, it’s going to be good.” Shrimpy adds.
“Hrm. Well let’s at least try to keep everyone’s clothing on shall we?”
“Of course! There isn’t going to be any of that. Just going to keep it entertaining for the adult audience too.” You say.
“Couldn’t help notice Ranko swearing like a sailor and stomping away from the carnival. Ranting about how he’s never coming back. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?”
“Not really boss. He just couldn’t keep up with the recent changes around here I guess.” You say,
Roofie smirks a bit.
“Heh, okay. Well I’m not going to lose any sleep not having to pay that asshole anymore. In any case, saw a few people actually driving up. Look like actual customers, so you guys need to go do your stuff for the crowds.”
The rest of the day goes pretty well for you. You and the rest entertain the small crowds (who seem to be mostly from the trailer park community just outside of your town.) that do show up.
By the end of the night you’re actually pretty tired and anxious to just flop down somewhere to sleep. Roofie says that thanks to Ranko leaving, his trailer is now empty and says that you can have it if you’re willing to ignore the mess he probably left it in. You accept the offer since it’ll be better than sleeping in Peter’s car.
And its at that point you forgot to call Peter back to let him know to pick his car up!
You check your phone and see that Peter did indeed try to get a hold of you, and once again Bobby left a bunch of texts and messages as well. You’re too tired to even bother to read them.
You try to call Peter back, but you get no answer. Probably doing god knows what. You’ll try again tomorrow, for now you enter Ranko’s trailer and breath a sigh of relief that the place isn’t a health hazard and lie down on his bed.
As you drift off to sleep you chuckle at the irony that Ranko wanted to get you into his bed really badly and all it took was for him to leave.