Eternal
As much as it would be in your favor to return with a massive victory, you’re going to have to settle on what you believe to be an assured one instead. Putting off a direct order from the Emperor would only make matters worse for you and you believe you’re in enough trouble as it is.
“You shouldn’t worry so much, didn’t you say that the Emperor probably wouldn’t get mad at you?” Alison asks.
“Yeah I said that to convince myself that what I wanted to do was a good idea at the time. Doesn’t matter, what’s done is done and I will face whatever the Emperor has in store for me and as I said before, I’ll take full responsibility.”
“You don’t need to do that. You know full well I was itching to get into it with the gnolls as too.”
“Well, I want to anyway because I…um…uh”
Alison raises an eyebrow when you start to stumble over your words; you quickly recover and change the subject.
“Look, just proceed with the plan as normal. I think we’ve wiped out most of their wyvern forces and even their dire wolf cavalry. We need to at least push them off of all the territory they took from the Felkans. If I return…”
“WHEN you return.” Alison interrupts.
“Heh, okay. When I return we can figure it out from there. Oh and this goes without saying but keep an eye on the svelk. They’ve all been fairly professional since we started this aggressive campaign on the gnolls, but well you know, they’re svelk and who knows what they might be up to.”
“Of course.”
“Okay I guess that’s about it.”
You linger a moment longer just sort of staring at Alison wondering if this will be the last time you ever see her again. It seems silly given how the pair of you have risked your lives in battle so many times that death could’ve just been a sword cleave or stray arrow away. This is different though and its not because you’re afraid of any execution that Emperor might inflict on you, its more because you’d hate to not have the chance to spend any more time with Alison.
Is this what is known as “romantic” love? You’re familiar with the concept, it just has always seemed bizarre to you or at least not a priority. Love of the Emperor, love of the Empire, love of duty and battle are concepts you understand, but your feelings towards Alison are a little different even when you attempt to make the comparisons in your head.
Sensing you’re more overcome with emotions than you’d admit, Alison once again takes your relationship that extra step further.
“You don’t need to say it. I know.” She says and kisses you.
With that pleasant feeling still persisting, you take your leave and make your long trip back to the capital. It’s a miserable trip since it practically rains the entire way, almost like the storm is following you. You cast your shield spell to give yourself some relief from the elements though it still doesn’t help when your horse has to trudge through some of the muddier back roads. Eventually you arrive at your destination.
You enter the Emperor’s chambers and while lately when you’ve met with him he’s either hovering over his war table with maps and small figures on them or he’s speaking with Jacob and the others, but this time he’s alone and sitting in his chair. He isn’t reading either, he’s staring down at the floor as if deep in thought.
“Why?” He asks without looking up. His voice doesn’t sound angry so much as it sounds distant.
This simple question could only be asking you why you disobeyed his orders. You have several elaborate answers you could give. You’ve practiced them all, but now that you’re actually in front of the Emperor you know that no answer is going to help so you cut to chase.
“I have no suitable excuse because there is none. There is no reason good enough to explain why I disobeyed your orders. I have returned merely to accept whatever punishment you have deemed suitable for my betrayal.”
There is a pause of silence after your words. The Emperor slowly looks up at you and you feel his eyes staring right through you. The room even starts to feel more oppressive. Its as if you aren’t even alone with the Emperor, its like there are a thousand eyes upon you. Judging you.
“I see. But you will not evade my question so easily. Now tell me why, I just need to know. Tell me. I will believe you my son.” The Emperor says in an almost soothing voice.
So you tell him your reasons; that you were merely tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting around for the gnolls to continue attacking you. That you wanted to do something of more substance for the Empire. The Emperor listens to your explanation, but you get the impression he’s also studying you.
“So…your reasons for disobeying my orders were entirely your idea? You were not influenced in any way?”
“Of course.”
“There wasn’t perhaps another person of the female persuasion who whispered in your ear late in the night about glory and power?”
“No my Emperor. I mean unless you’re speaking of a petty a svelk ploy that I recently experienced. Mistress sent her daughter to…”
“No, not her and not her spawn, though I’m well aware of that weirdness going on as well. Don’t worry I fully intend on having a chat with her as well since that sort of thing needs to stop. But that is somewhat related to what I’m getting at and who I KNOW you’re attempting to protect. That young major you’ve been having a relationship with.”
“Alison? While our relationship is sometimes a physical one, it is always professional. It was my idea to launch the attack on the gnolls and I already gave the reasons. She had no choice but to follow my orders when I took command of her battalion. She is a good solider and was only following orders.”
“And I suppose right now she’s still following your orders. Attacking the gnolls despite the fact that I wanted that battalion purely for defense of our current holdings or for reinforcements to our main attack force…” the Emperor at this point trails off and shakes his head with a sigh. He then gets up off his chair and walks over to you.
The Emperor soon stands before you and he doesn’t look angry, but he does seem disappointed. In some ways that’s almost as bad and you hang your head down a little in shame. The Emperor then suddenly grabs your head with both hands and stares intently into your eyes for a few seconds, which feels like eternity as you stand completely still staring back.
“Very well. I believe we are done here.” He says with a smile and lets you go.
“That…that’s it?”
“For now. Yes. You may go back to your battalion and finish your little campaign against the gnolls since I hear you are winning against them, however just kick them out of former Felkan lands and secure the borders. Do not push further into their original territory. We still can’t spread ourselves too thin, remember we still have the Felkan Kingdom to destroy.”
“Understood.”
“It better be, because I’m very serious about that order. Our recent victory at Yaquan is getting the ball rolling again and I don’t want to have to be worrying about you going rogue. Especially since I’m going to have need of you for the final push again the Felkans. It is obvious to me now that you do need to be on the frontlines of this war as a general even if your real position is technically higher than that.”
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, don’t thank me. This is probably something I should’ve done a long time ago. The fault is mine for wanting to protect you. I don’t know why, since I know you’re more than capable of handling yourself. I guess we’ll just chalk it up to parental protectiveness. In any case, finish up with those mongrel half dogs quickly because you’ll be called upon soon. That is all.”
You leave the Emperor’s chambers unsure of how to feel exactly. You were expecting the worst, even death, but instead you’ve practically been rewarded for your actions.
When you explain things to Alison she’s very happy for you.
“See? Nothing but good news and I told you that you’d be coming back.”
“Yeah…” you acknowledge.
“Now what? I would think you’d be happy not only to be alive, but also be promoted to the Felkan frontlines where you always wanted to be.”
“I…don’t know. I mean I am and it is a great honor and everything I wanted…but now…well I’m used to having you by my side.”
“Well that’s sweet, but I’m sure you knew we’d eventually be separated at some point. I mean we are military and military gets moved around.”
“I know. Still, I’m going to miss all our time together.”
“You’re not going yet are you? I thought you were here until the gnolls were booted out.”
“I am.”
“Well let’s not get gloomy about things just yet, we’ve still got quite a few of those bastards running about. Let us spend our remaining quality time together kicking their asses and celebrating our victory afterwards.”
You smile and agree. Perhaps it is best that you enjoy the time you do have together now rather than mope about such things.
You do wonder if you’ll be able to stay in much contact with Alison when you’re reassigned. You’re skeptical that you’ll have much time to write letters to her and have no doubt that you’ll have to focus more on the Felkans. However, you can’t help but think she’ll still be in the back of your mind. And if it is only a memory then it’s a much better replacement for who was usually in the back of your mind.
Maybe you and Alison aren’t exactly in love as most would see it, but as far as you’re concerned you’ll always love her for at least displacing the twisted memories of Mistress out of your head.
“You shouldn’t worry so much, didn’t you say that the Emperor probably wouldn’t get mad at you?” Alison asks.
“Yeah I said that to convince myself that what I wanted to do was a good idea at the time. Doesn’t matter, what’s done is done and I will face whatever the Emperor has in store for me and as I said before, I’ll take full responsibility.”
“You don’t need to do that. You know full well I was itching to get into it with the gnolls as too.”
“Well, I want to anyway because I…um…uh”
Alison raises an eyebrow when you start to stumble over your words; you quickly recover and change the subject.
“Look, just proceed with the plan as normal. I think we’ve wiped out most of their wyvern forces and even their dire wolf cavalry. We need to at least push them off of all the territory they took from the Felkans. If I return…”
“WHEN you return.” Alison interrupts.
“Heh, okay. When I return we can figure it out from there. Oh and this goes without saying but keep an eye on the svelk. They’ve all been fairly professional since we started this aggressive campaign on the gnolls, but well you know, they’re svelk and who knows what they might be up to.”
“Of course.”
“Okay I guess that’s about it.”
You linger a moment longer just sort of staring at Alison wondering if this will be the last time you ever see her again. It seems silly given how the pair of you have risked your lives in battle so many times that death could’ve just been a sword cleave or stray arrow away. This is different though and its not because you’re afraid of any execution that Emperor might inflict on you, its more because you’d hate to not have the chance to spend any more time with Alison.
Is this what is known as “romantic” love? You’re familiar with the concept, it just has always seemed bizarre to you or at least not a priority. Love of the Emperor, love of the Empire, love of duty and battle are concepts you understand, but your feelings towards Alison are a little different even when you attempt to make the comparisons in your head.
Sensing you’re more overcome with emotions than you’d admit, Alison once again takes your relationship that extra step further.
“You don’t need to say it. I know.” She says and kisses you.
With that pleasant feeling still persisting, you take your leave and make your long trip back to the capital. It’s a miserable trip since it practically rains the entire way, almost like the storm is following you. You cast your shield spell to give yourself some relief from the elements though it still doesn’t help when your horse has to trudge through some of the muddier back roads. Eventually you arrive at your destination.
You enter the Emperor’s chambers and while lately when you’ve met with him he’s either hovering over his war table with maps and small figures on them or he’s speaking with Jacob and the others, but this time he’s alone and sitting in his chair. He isn’t reading either, he’s staring down at the floor as if deep in thought.
“Why?” He asks without looking up. His voice doesn’t sound angry so much as it sounds distant.
This simple question could only be asking you why you disobeyed his orders. You have several elaborate answers you could give. You’ve practiced them all, but now that you’re actually in front of the Emperor you know that no answer is going to help so you cut to chase.
“I have no suitable excuse because there is none. There is no reason good enough to explain why I disobeyed your orders. I have returned merely to accept whatever punishment you have deemed suitable for my betrayal.”
There is a pause of silence after your words. The Emperor slowly looks up at you and you feel his eyes staring right through you. The room even starts to feel more oppressive. Its as if you aren’t even alone with the Emperor, its like there are a thousand eyes upon you. Judging you.
“I see. But you will not evade my question so easily. Now tell me why, I just need to know. Tell me. I will believe you my son.” The Emperor says in an almost soothing voice.
So you tell him your reasons; that you were merely tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting around for the gnolls to continue attacking you. That you wanted to do something of more substance for the Empire. The Emperor listens to your explanation, but you get the impression he’s also studying you.
“So…your reasons for disobeying my orders were entirely your idea? You were not influenced in any way?”
“Of course.”
“There wasn’t perhaps another person of the female persuasion who whispered in your ear late in the night about glory and power?”
“No my Emperor. I mean unless you’re speaking of a petty a svelk ploy that I recently experienced. Mistress sent her daughter to…”
“No, not her and not her spawn, though I’m well aware of that weirdness going on as well. Don’t worry I fully intend on having a chat with her as well since that sort of thing needs to stop. But that is somewhat related to what I’m getting at and who I KNOW you’re attempting to protect. That young major you’ve been having a relationship with.”
“Alison? While our relationship is sometimes a physical one, it is always professional. It was my idea to launch the attack on the gnolls and I already gave the reasons. She had no choice but to follow my orders when I took command of her battalion. She is a good solider and was only following orders.”
“And I suppose right now she’s still following your orders. Attacking the gnolls despite the fact that I wanted that battalion purely for defense of our current holdings or for reinforcements to our main attack force…” the Emperor at this point trails off and shakes his head with a sigh. He then gets up off his chair and walks over to you.
The Emperor soon stands before you and he doesn’t look angry, but he does seem disappointed. In some ways that’s almost as bad and you hang your head down a little in shame. The Emperor then suddenly grabs your head with both hands and stares intently into your eyes for a few seconds, which feels like eternity as you stand completely still staring back.
“Very well. I believe we are done here.” He says with a smile and lets you go.
“That…that’s it?”
“For now. Yes. You may go back to your battalion and finish your little campaign against the gnolls since I hear you are winning against them, however just kick them out of former Felkan lands and secure the borders. Do not push further into their original territory. We still can’t spread ourselves too thin, remember we still have the Felkan Kingdom to destroy.”
“Understood.”
“It better be, because I’m very serious about that order. Our recent victory at Yaquan is getting the ball rolling again and I don’t want to have to be worrying about you going rogue. Especially since I’m going to have need of you for the final push again the Felkans. It is obvious to me now that you do need to be on the frontlines of this war as a general even if your real position is technically higher than that.”
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, don’t thank me. This is probably something I should’ve done a long time ago. The fault is mine for wanting to protect you. I don’t know why, since I know you’re more than capable of handling yourself. I guess we’ll just chalk it up to parental protectiveness. In any case, finish up with those mongrel half dogs quickly because you’ll be called upon soon. That is all.”
You leave the Emperor’s chambers unsure of how to feel exactly. You were expecting the worst, even death, but instead you’ve practically been rewarded for your actions.
When you explain things to Alison she’s very happy for you.
“See? Nothing but good news and I told you that you’d be coming back.”
“Yeah…” you acknowledge.
“Now what? I would think you’d be happy not only to be alive, but also be promoted to the Felkan frontlines where you always wanted to be.”
“I…don’t know. I mean I am and it is a great honor and everything I wanted…but now…well I’m used to having you by my side.”
“Well that’s sweet, but I’m sure you knew we’d eventually be separated at some point. I mean we are military and military gets moved around.”
“I know. Still, I’m going to miss all our time together.”
“You’re not going yet are you? I thought you were here until the gnolls were booted out.”
“I am.”
“Well let’s not get gloomy about things just yet, we’ve still got quite a few of those bastards running about. Let us spend our remaining quality time together kicking their asses and celebrating our victory afterwards.”
You smile and agree. Perhaps it is best that you enjoy the time you do have together now rather than mope about such things.
You do wonder if you’ll be able to stay in much contact with Alison when you’re reassigned. You’re skeptical that you’ll have much time to write letters to her and have no doubt that you’ll have to focus more on the Felkans. However, you can’t help but think she’ll still be in the back of your mind. And if it is only a memory then it’s a much better replacement for who was usually in the back of your mind.
Maybe you and Alison aren’t exactly in love as most would see it, but as far as you’re concerned you’ll always love her for at least displacing the twisted memories of Mistress out of your head.