The Galactic Adventures of Pierce Darkblade
"If I wanted crabs swimming around my genitals Dr., I would just have sex with you."
"P...Pierce? Why..would you say something like that?" She is clearly hurt by your words.
"Yeah Dr., it's CAPTAIN DARKBLADE to you, got it? I'm not running the formal fun ship here. First name basis is restricted to close friend’s only, not trashy whores."
"P..Pier..err. Captain! Wha...whatt did I do to deserve this treatment!" She is blubbering now, barely able to mask the tears she is crying.
"Truth hurts, doesn't it darling? I'm no fool, I know you have slept with half of the male crew members, word gets around. What is it, daddy never loved you so you act out by doing the naked Charleston with every man you meet? Newsflash babe, they love you even less than your abusive alcoholic daddy! It's only a matter of time before you become a dried up old slut who won't even be able to pay a man to stomach touching your crusty ass!"
"Oh YOU AWFUL BASTARD! You're HORRIBLE! WHY ARE YOU D.DOING THISS TO ME?! OHHH...WAHHFRMMURBLE..WHYYYY" She is drowning in the tears now. You struck a chord, this is hilarious to you.
"Do me a favor Dr. Liv. When we are back on the ship I want you to keep our relationship purely professional. If I have a broken leg I'll be in medical looking for your help. But as far as we are socially concerned, keep your happy ending hands off of me because I don't associate with knob gobbling hookers!”
You hear bitter sobbing before you end the communication. You grin maliciously. That was awesome, you think. Totally brought that whore down to reality. Maybe now she will concentrate more on her job and less on her sexual escapades.
You relax in the sun for a couple more hours sipping on margaritas. You spend your evening in your hotel room. The next day is just as sunny and beautiful as the previous one. Another day in paradise you think. What to do next?
"P...Pierce? Why..would you say something like that?" She is clearly hurt by your words.
"Yeah Dr., it's CAPTAIN DARKBLADE to you, got it? I'm not running the formal fun ship here. First name basis is restricted to close friend’s only, not trashy whores."
"P..Pier..err. Captain! Wha...whatt did I do to deserve this treatment!" She is blubbering now, barely able to mask the tears she is crying.
"Truth hurts, doesn't it darling? I'm no fool, I know you have slept with half of the male crew members, word gets around. What is it, daddy never loved you so you act out by doing the naked Charleston with every man you meet? Newsflash babe, they love you even less than your abusive alcoholic daddy! It's only a matter of time before you become a dried up old slut who won't even be able to pay a man to stomach touching your crusty ass!"
"Oh YOU AWFUL BASTARD! You're HORRIBLE! WHY ARE YOU D.DOING THISS TO ME?! OHHH...WAHHFRMMURBLE..WHYYYY" She is drowning in the tears now. You struck a chord, this is hilarious to you.
"Do me a favor Dr. Liv. When we are back on the ship I want you to keep our relationship purely professional. If I have a broken leg I'll be in medical looking for your help. But as far as we are socially concerned, keep your happy ending hands off of me because I don't associate with knob gobbling hookers!”
You hear bitter sobbing before you end the communication. You grin maliciously. That was awesome, you think. Totally brought that whore down to reality. Maybe now she will concentrate more on her job and less on her sexual escapades.
You relax in the sun for a couple more hours sipping on margaritas. You spend your evening in your hotel room. The next day is just as sunny and beautiful as the previous one. Another day in paradise you think. What to do next?