The Gladiator

In your panic, you attempt to imitate to amazing backward leap that you had witnessed Velkadin perform, forgeting that you have never leapt so fast before in your entire life. Instead, you fall backwards on your butt.
Velkadin's sword misses you, but you're not out of danger yet. Frantically, you scramble to your feet, only to have Velkadin kick you in the tush.
"Hey!" you shout indignantly, rolling to your feet and red with embarrasment. You hope that that girl didn't see that.And then to make things worse, Velkadin whips up his sword and slashes you in the jaw. Bleeding, you stumble back.
"I win." Velkadin smirks.