Tales From The Basement
"Peter contrary to popular belief, I do have a life. I'm going to a party tonight!" you say indignantly.
"Hmm, I find that hard to believe, but if you don't want to be part of what will be the greatest movie ever, 'tis your loss, not mine." Peter says and leaves with Kevin who's still pointing the camera at you until you slam the door in his face.
You groan when you now realize you're going to a party that will most likely have several "Kevins" all attempting to get in your pants. Still, you've never not been there for Julie when she's really wanted or needed you and that seems to be the case now. So you're going.
You try to find something to wear that's not going to cause the natives to get too restless, but then you remember it won't matter, so you just wear something comfortable to you.
Your walk to Julie's is relatively uneventful and you get there exactly at six o clock. Julie is unusually sober. Granted the party hasn't quite started yet, but that's never stopped her before.
"Suzy? What the hell are you doing here? Nobody else has arrived yet!"
"Uh you told me six, so I'm here at six." You say totally not grasping the concept of being fashionably late.
Julie laughs and puts her hand on your shoulder.
"Oh Suzy, you are just so precious sometimes. That's why despite our differences I've always considered you my best friend after all these years."
"Uh huh. So what did you want to see me about?" you ask
"Oh we can talk about that later, you should enjoy yourself now."
"Julie, as you pointed out nobody else is here yet! Also, I just came over to talk to you, not hang out at your party, so now is a good time to tell me. You said it was important."
Julie begins to get a little nervous now, and tries to avoid the situation.
"Ha ha, yeah well. Maybe it wasn't as important as I thought I guess. It's funny to see you here; I almost didn't expect you to come, but now that you are, stay!"
"Julie, you mean to tell me you wasted my time, and lied to me?"
"No! I just yeah I guess it's important, I just can't tell you right now. I will later I promise. Please can't you just stay for the party?"
It's apparent that Julie really does want you to stick around, but at this point you're very exasperated. You don't like leaving your basement without a good reason.
You didn't come here to play games. You give Julie one last chance.
"Look Julie, if you don't tell me what's going on right now I'm leaving."
"No! Please no! If I don't tell you now I might never I need a drink first." She says and goes to her liquor cabinet, but you stop her.
"Dammit WHAT?!" you yell into her face while grabbing both of her arms.
Julie breaks free of your grip and grasps your face to kiss you full on the lips passionately. You're so surprised that you don't resist at first, but eventually you push her off of you.
"I love you Suzy! I think I always have! I think you're my soul mate!" she blurts out. "There I said it."
You're in too much shock to even reply at this revelation. All you know is she wasn't joking about it being important.
"Whew, I feel like a great weight has been lifted off of me. I thought I wasn't going to be able to tell you without being drunk, but I'm glad you forced it out of me. You always lead me to the right decision. It's why I love you."
"Stop just stop Julie." You say, sitting down trying to take all this in.
"What's wrong Suzy? I mean I thought you might be into this."
"What? And what made you think that?"
"Oh come on Suzy, you're still a fucking virgin. You've never shown any interest in guys, so I'm pretty sure that it's obvious that you're a closet lesbian."
"Glad it's obvious to you, because it sure wasn't to me. Look I need to wrap my head around this. I gotta get out of here."
"But but "
"But what Julie? What am I supposed to do fall down on my knees and start munching your rug? Look maybe YOU'VE had those feelings, but I haven't. I mean I suppose we're friends and all, but quite frankly we're VERY different people and wouldn't be compatible in a relationship even if I was so inclined to pursue one with a woman. Which I'm not. At least not now."
Julie begins to look very hurt and upset.
"But you could right?"
"Look Julie, it's not going to happen. First of all you'd have to undergo some serious lifestyle changes which I doubt if you're even capable of. Second of all I question whether or not what you feel right now is going to last. You have a habit of falling in love every other week."
"No it not like that! I've always felt this way! And I'll do anything for us to be together!"
"Julie, forgive me if I don't share your delusions. Look, I know that you probably believe what you're saying, but let's just forget about this shall we?"
At this point Julie starts to cry which is followed up by her running into the bathroom and slamming the door. You think about trying to console her, but that's probably only going to make things worse.
Lacking any other ideas, you decide to go home and let Julie work it out herself.
On your way home, you run into Donna and a bunch of her slutty friends.
"Suzy? What the hell are YOU doing out of the basement, you never go anywhere!" Donna says.
"I'm coming back from Julie's. It's a long story."
"Coming back from there? We're going there! Julie invited all of us to her party. Normally we wouldn't get there so early, but we figured we'd like to get the first dibs on the guys."
"Yeah she invited me too, but she wanted to talk about something else." You say and then feel the need to tell Donna more.
"Uh Donna can I talk to you about something in private?"
"Sure, hey you guys just go on, I'll catch up." Donna tells her friends.
After her friends leave you tell Donna everything that happened between you and Julie. Donna's intrigued, but is shocked at your response.
"So you just left her to cry?"
"Well yeah, I mean if I stayed I would've just made things worse. She'll get over it."
"No she won't! She basically just admitted to you that she's loved you all her life and had a hard time even admitting it to you. And you basically just stomped all over her little heart! She's supposed to be your friend. The ONLY one you really have, and you didn't even give her a chance!"
"Yeah, key word being FRIEND. I never felt that way and I've known Julie a lot longer and better than you have and she's incapable of having a stable relationship with anyone. She's wild party girl just like you."
Now Donna gets offend by your rude choice of words.
"Oh I see. Just because Julie isn't some stick in the mud flying nun who's only knowledge of a so called relationship is with a piece of battery powered machinery, she's a whore that's incapable of change or true feelings huh?"
"That's not "
And you see me and Julie as one of the same too, right?"
"I didn't "
"Fuck you Suzy! I know what you think. Let me tell you what I think! I think you're an emotional cripple who's so fucking scared of the real world so you hide out from it in your goddamn basement! So scared that you'll get hurt that you miss out on shit that COULD be good for your uptight ass! Well fuck that, I'd rather be a whore than some scared virginal recluse!"
You're left speechless as Donna storms off who says one more parting shot.
"And I dunno why you're claiming not to be interested in Julie anyway. It's pretty obvious that you're a lesbian."
"Hmm, I find that hard to believe, but if you don't want to be part of what will be the greatest movie ever, 'tis your loss, not mine." Peter says and leaves with Kevin who's still pointing the camera at you until you slam the door in his face.
You groan when you now realize you're going to a party that will most likely have several "Kevins" all attempting to get in your pants. Still, you've never not been there for Julie when she's really wanted or needed you and that seems to be the case now. So you're going.
You try to find something to wear that's not going to cause the natives to get too restless, but then you remember it won't matter, so you just wear something comfortable to you.
Your walk to Julie's is relatively uneventful and you get there exactly at six o clock. Julie is unusually sober. Granted the party hasn't quite started yet, but that's never stopped her before.
"Suzy? What the hell are you doing here? Nobody else has arrived yet!"
"Uh you told me six, so I'm here at six." You say totally not grasping the concept of being fashionably late.
Julie laughs and puts her hand on your shoulder.
"Oh Suzy, you are just so precious sometimes. That's why despite our differences I've always considered you my best friend after all these years."
"Uh huh. So what did you want to see me about?" you ask
"Oh we can talk about that later, you should enjoy yourself now."
"Julie, as you pointed out nobody else is here yet! Also, I just came over to talk to you, not hang out at your party, so now is a good time to tell me. You said it was important."
Julie begins to get a little nervous now, and tries to avoid the situation.
"Ha ha, yeah well. Maybe it wasn't as important as I thought I guess. It's funny to see you here; I almost didn't expect you to come, but now that you are, stay!"
"Julie, you mean to tell me you wasted my time, and lied to me?"
"No! I just yeah I guess it's important, I just can't tell you right now. I will later I promise. Please can't you just stay for the party?"
It's apparent that Julie really does want you to stick around, but at this point you're very exasperated. You don't like leaving your basement without a good reason.
You didn't come here to play games. You give Julie one last chance.
"Look Julie, if you don't tell me what's going on right now I'm leaving."
"No! Please no! If I don't tell you now I might never I need a drink first." She says and goes to her liquor cabinet, but you stop her.
"Dammit WHAT?!" you yell into her face while grabbing both of her arms.
Julie breaks free of your grip and grasps your face to kiss you full on the lips passionately. You're so surprised that you don't resist at first, but eventually you push her off of you.
"I love you Suzy! I think I always have! I think you're my soul mate!" she blurts out. "There I said it."
You're in too much shock to even reply at this revelation. All you know is she wasn't joking about it being important.
"Whew, I feel like a great weight has been lifted off of me. I thought I wasn't going to be able to tell you without being drunk, but I'm glad you forced it out of me. You always lead me to the right decision. It's why I love you."
"Stop just stop Julie." You say, sitting down trying to take all this in.
"What's wrong Suzy? I mean I thought you might be into this."
"What? And what made you think that?"
"Oh come on Suzy, you're still a fucking virgin. You've never shown any interest in guys, so I'm pretty sure that it's obvious that you're a closet lesbian."
"Glad it's obvious to you, because it sure wasn't to me. Look I need to wrap my head around this. I gotta get out of here."
"But but "
"But what Julie? What am I supposed to do fall down on my knees and start munching your rug? Look maybe YOU'VE had those feelings, but I haven't. I mean I suppose we're friends and all, but quite frankly we're VERY different people and wouldn't be compatible in a relationship even if I was so inclined to pursue one with a woman. Which I'm not. At least not now."
Julie begins to look very hurt and upset.
"But you could right?"
"Look Julie, it's not going to happen. First of all you'd have to undergo some serious lifestyle changes which I doubt if you're even capable of. Second of all I question whether or not what you feel right now is going to last. You have a habit of falling in love every other week."
"No it not like that! I've always felt this way! And I'll do anything for us to be together!"
"Julie, forgive me if I don't share your delusions. Look, I know that you probably believe what you're saying, but let's just forget about this shall we?"
At this point Julie starts to cry which is followed up by her running into the bathroom and slamming the door. You think about trying to console her, but that's probably only going to make things worse.
Lacking any other ideas, you decide to go home and let Julie work it out herself.
On your way home, you run into Donna and a bunch of her slutty friends.
"Suzy? What the hell are YOU doing out of the basement, you never go anywhere!" Donna says.
"I'm coming back from Julie's. It's a long story."
"Coming back from there? We're going there! Julie invited all of us to her party. Normally we wouldn't get there so early, but we figured we'd like to get the first dibs on the guys."
"Yeah she invited me too, but she wanted to talk about something else." You say and then feel the need to tell Donna more.
"Uh Donna can I talk to you about something in private?"
"Sure, hey you guys just go on, I'll catch up." Donna tells her friends.
After her friends leave you tell Donna everything that happened between you and Julie. Donna's intrigued, but is shocked at your response.
"So you just left her to cry?"
"Well yeah, I mean if I stayed I would've just made things worse. She'll get over it."
"No she won't! She basically just admitted to you that she's loved you all her life and had a hard time even admitting it to you. And you basically just stomped all over her little heart! She's supposed to be your friend. The ONLY one you really have, and you didn't even give her a chance!"
"Yeah, key word being FRIEND. I never felt that way and I've known Julie a lot longer and better than you have and she's incapable of having a stable relationship with anyone. She's wild party girl just like you."
Now Donna gets offend by your rude choice of words.
"Oh I see. Just because Julie isn't some stick in the mud flying nun who's only knowledge of a so called relationship is with a piece of battery powered machinery, she's a whore that's incapable of change or true feelings huh?"
"That's not "
And you see me and Julie as one of the same too, right?"
"I didn't "
"Fuck you Suzy! I know what you think. Let me tell you what I think! I think you're an emotional cripple who's so fucking scared of the real world so you hide out from it in your goddamn basement! So scared that you'll get hurt that you miss out on shit that COULD be good for your uptight ass! Well fuck that, I'd rather be a whore than some scared virginal recluse!"
You're left speechless as Donna storms off who says one more parting shot.
"And I dunno why you're claiming not to be interested in Julie anyway. It's pretty obvious that you're a lesbian."