Mediocre Moose Maulings!!
"No no no no! Popcorn is full of transfats and fatty acids! You need nasty stuff like rice, or oatmeal."
"But that's the stuff old people eat!"
"Now missy, I should have you know, that it isn't the food that makes people old. It's their choice. It's a common misconception, but you're only a girl, so I'm not surprised. You see, being old is a sinful, filthy, and immoral choice that only freaky perverts choose to be. Come on, do you think God WANTED us to look like THAT when we die? We force them to eat rice and oatmeal because it restores youth. But they get some sort of sexual pleasure out of looking like some shrivelled old raisin."
"Holy crap! Thank you sir! Now I know the truth about old people."
You then called you grandmother.
"Hello? Zelda!How wonderful it is to hear yo-"
"Eat some rice, you dried up whore!"
Your dear grandmother then died of being old.
This just goes to show. Kids, don't let your parents choose to be old. And you can catch old, from touching old people in any way, them sneezing on you, not using those paper sheets in public bathrooms, and sharing water bottles with them.
The end.
"But that's the stuff old people eat!"
"Now missy, I should have you know, that it isn't the food that makes people old. It's their choice. It's a common misconception, but you're only a girl, so I'm not surprised. You see, being old is a sinful, filthy, and immoral choice that only freaky perverts choose to be. Come on, do you think God WANTED us to look like THAT when we die? We force them to eat rice and oatmeal because it restores youth. But they get some sort of sexual pleasure out of looking like some shrivelled old raisin."
"Holy crap! Thank you sir! Now I know the truth about old people."
You then called you grandmother.
"Hello? Zelda!How wonderful it is to hear yo-"
"Eat some rice, you dried up whore!"
Your dear grandmother then died of being old.
This just goes to show. Kids, don't let your parents choose to be old. And you can catch old, from touching old people in any way, them sneezing on you, not using those paper sheets in public bathrooms, and sharing water bottles with them.
The end.
