The Country from Hell
"Mariiiiiaaa Mariiiiaaaa! Stop me from hemorrhaging!"
The song is so funny, you almost choke on the custia that you have been gradually sipping throughout the evening. You have completely lost track of time. All you know is that you are hanging out in the dead of night in an abandoned cemetery with a crazy group of University students, both Iadian and Frosty. You and Szil are seated together against a particularly large headstone:
"Rest in peace, good soul.
You left us all too soon"
That's the inscription, but it's covered up now by Szil's arm, against which you are nestled snugly. He introduced you to his friends as "the most sanguinary customer I've ever had". To your surprise, they all greeted you warmly, falling over themselves to be the first to put a cup of custia in your hand. At first you were shy. But it didn't take long for the crackling campfire, the fiery custia, and the spellbinding forest to take their effect. And, of course, there's Szil. You wonder ifÂ…
"Ok ok! Enough with these stupid old songs!" shouts one of Szil's friends, interrupting your thoughts. "I want to tell a story!"
He is clearly a little drunk, but in his eyes you see something dark and serious. He looks right at you.
"In honor of our lovely guest, I would like to tell a Iadian story that I read last week."
"We all know you're illiterate!" a heckler shouts from the circle.
"Let's hear it!" Szil counters, smiling at you as he squeezes your shoulder. "Everybody be quiet!"
And just like that, everybody is.
"This is the story of Dan and Ana," the boy begins. "You may have heard it before. Back in the time of The Pig, there was a boy named Dan who lived in a medium-sized village. He was a smart boy, maybe even handsome, and he got a job driving a milk truck between towns. He could have maybe qualified for university study, but he was lazy when it came to reading. Instead, he would spend hours playing cards with his friend Peafeather. Now Peafeather was not as smart as Dan, but he would continue to challenge Dan at cards in the hope of improving himself. Often Dan would let him win, just for a little variation. Peafeather, though a nice boy, was so dumb that he even lost sometimes when Dan would try his hardest to let him win. But this story isn't about Peafeather.
One day, they were playing cards and drinking from Peafeather's uncle's illegal bootleg custia when Peafeather told Dan about a hike into the mountains that was being planned for the coming weekend. His Youth Group would be meeting with another from a neighboring town where Dan often delivered milk. Dan saw no reason to say no, and besides, he was enjoying his custia and liked the way Peafeather could ramble on about anything for hours. At that moment, Pefeather's aunt came in and told them both to get off their backsides and do something useful because youth will not sit forever to play cards with you.
On the weekend, they went high up into the mountains. The fog hung all around them so that no one could see anyone else from their waist to the ground. They all looked to each other like floating ghosts. Dan saw a girl a little apart from the group and went up to talk to her. Her name was Ana.
The next day, as Dan was making his milk delivery, he saw Ana walking along the dirt road toward her town. He pulled over his truck and asked if she would like a ride. He tried to make a joke, saying that it was nice to see her bottom half as well as her top half. She didn't think this was funny, but she agreed to let him pick her up again the next day.
Dan was a good worker, and now he was especially good because he had the added motivation of seeing Ana every day. He enjoyed his good luck. He had a girl who was pretty enough and he knew that with his smarts he would soon be able to take control of the milk delivery for the whole region. Soon, he and she could be seen in both their towns, walking hand in hand. Peafeather's aunt told Dan that he should marry Ana before the winds of change started blowing against them. The superstitious old bat!
Dan liked his custia and his cards and his milk truck and his friend Peafeather and his girlfriend Ana. Life was fun just as it was. On the road between towns, he would imagine that he was driving to faraway places. One day he would reach a castle, and Ana would greet him at the gates dressed in finery he'd only imagined in fairytales.
Months went by just like this, with little or no change. At times, Dan would feel very passionate and he would tell Ana that he loved her. She would look away or even deny that she felt the same way for him, even though they both knew the truth. Whenever she tried to tell him that she loved him, he would always make a joke and she would storm angrily away, refusing to speak to him for a week or longer.
One day, Dan was in a particularly funny mood when he saw Ana's shape emerge on the horizon. Pulling up next to her, he put on a very long face and said that he could not see her anymore because in truth he was married and had been the whole time, even before he saw her top half floating around in the mountain fog. She refused to believe him, but he kept up his charade, laughing and pointing dramatically to his ring finger, which of course did not have a ring. Finally, she stopped talking and just stared at him. She slammed the door of his truck and disappeared into the distance. Why was she being so serious? Dan decided to think it over with a bottle of custia he kept under his seat. As he pondered, he saw a flock of sheep cross the dirt road and noticed in the sky that rain was coming. Finally, he started up the cranky old machine and went on his way.
He stopped when he saw Ana. She had impaled herself on a fence spike and stood there in slumped suspension, the spike holding up her pierced body. Rushing out, Dan lifted her away, ignoring the streaming blood, and sat her down in his passenger seat. She fell against the side of the door, hitting her head repeatedly as he rushed her to the hospital. Lifting her in his arms, he started running up the front steps of the hospital. A nurse glared at him and told him to lighten his load because the girl was obviously dead. Dan brought Ana into the hospital anyway, leaving her in an examination room before rushing out to finish his shift. If he didn't deliver the milk on time, he could lose his job. If he lost his job, he would be forced to find work shoveling pig shit like his friend Peafeather.
Not noticing the heavy rain that had begun to fall, he went full speed towards the next town. He tried to ignore the image of her that kept coming to his mind, drooped against that horrible fence. This was all a dream! They were too young for anything like this to happen to them. Tomorrow, the sun would come out and there she would be, walking along her road. He might even congratulate her for the convincing joke.
Suddenly, Dan's truck began to skid across the mud. It narrowly avoided a tree, but plunged headlong into a river, which quickly turned white with spilled milk. As the water rose to his feet, then to his knees, Dan wondered if Peafeather's aunt had been right after all. As the rushing water rose to his chest, Dan realized, much too late, that life was, after all, very serious. The end."
Silence all around. Someone throws a stick into the dwindling fire.
"Party's over. Let's go home," someone else suggests, and in silent agreement, the group begins to get up, dust off, gather the cups and bottles strewn on the ground.
Szil grips your hand tightly, pulling you to your feet. He leads you wordlessly away to a small path winding its way among the overgrown tombstones. He takes your other hand so you are now facing one another.
"I don't want to be like Dan and Ana," he whispers after a long pause.
"Me neither," you muble, shuffling your foot uncertainly against a rock. He squeezes your hands and you look up at him. In the partial moonlight, you can make out the grim outline of Szil the Jokester's face.
"I will tell you now, then, that I want to see you again. And again after that."
"Me too."
Without another word, Szil bends down to you. Wrapping his arms gently around your waist, he kisses you.
The song is so funny, you almost choke on the custia that you have been gradually sipping throughout the evening. You have completely lost track of time. All you know is that you are hanging out in the dead of night in an abandoned cemetery with a crazy group of University students, both Iadian and Frosty. You and Szil are seated together against a particularly large headstone:
"Rest in peace, good soul.
You left us all too soon"
That's the inscription, but it's covered up now by Szil's arm, against which you are nestled snugly. He introduced you to his friends as "the most sanguinary customer I've ever had". To your surprise, they all greeted you warmly, falling over themselves to be the first to put a cup of custia in your hand. At first you were shy. But it didn't take long for the crackling campfire, the fiery custia, and the spellbinding forest to take their effect. And, of course, there's Szil. You wonder ifÂ…
"Ok ok! Enough with these stupid old songs!" shouts one of Szil's friends, interrupting your thoughts. "I want to tell a story!"
He is clearly a little drunk, but in his eyes you see something dark and serious. He looks right at you.
"In honor of our lovely guest, I would like to tell a Iadian story that I read last week."
"We all know you're illiterate!" a heckler shouts from the circle.
"Let's hear it!" Szil counters, smiling at you as he squeezes your shoulder. "Everybody be quiet!"
And just like that, everybody is.
"This is the story of Dan and Ana," the boy begins. "You may have heard it before. Back in the time of The Pig, there was a boy named Dan who lived in a medium-sized village. He was a smart boy, maybe even handsome, and he got a job driving a milk truck between towns. He could have maybe qualified for university study, but he was lazy when it came to reading. Instead, he would spend hours playing cards with his friend Peafeather. Now Peafeather was not as smart as Dan, but he would continue to challenge Dan at cards in the hope of improving himself. Often Dan would let him win, just for a little variation. Peafeather, though a nice boy, was so dumb that he even lost sometimes when Dan would try his hardest to let him win. But this story isn't about Peafeather.
One day, they were playing cards and drinking from Peafeather's uncle's illegal bootleg custia when Peafeather told Dan about a hike into the mountains that was being planned for the coming weekend. His Youth Group would be meeting with another from a neighboring town where Dan often delivered milk. Dan saw no reason to say no, and besides, he was enjoying his custia and liked the way Peafeather could ramble on about anything for hours. At that moment, Pefeather's aunt came in and told them both to get off their backsides and do something useful because youth will not sit forever to play cards with you.
On the weekend, they went high up into the mountains. The fog hung all around them so that no one could see anyone else from their waist to the ground. They all looked to each other like floating ghosts. Dan saw a girl a little apart from the group and went up to talk to her. Her name was Ana.
The next day, as Dan was making his milk delivery, he saw Ana walking along the dirt road toward her town. He pulled over his truck and asked if she would like a ride. He tried to make a joke, saying that it was nice to see her bottom half as well as her top half. She didn't think this was funny, but she agreed to let him pick her up again the next day.
Dan was a good worker, and now he was especially good because he had the added motivation of seeing Ana every day. He enjoyed his good luck. He had a girl who was pretty enough and he knew that with his smarts he would soon be able to take control of the milk delivery for the whole region. Soon, he and she could be seen in both their towns, walking hand in hand. Peafeather's aunt told Dan that he should marry Ana before the winds of change started blowing against them. The superstitious old bat!
Dan liked his custia and his cards and his milk truck and his friend Peafeather and his girlfriend Ana. Life was fun just as it was. On the road between towns, he would imagine that he was driving to faraway places. One day he would reach a castle, and Ana would greet him at the gates dressed in finery he'd only imagined in fairytales.
Months went by just like this, with little or no change. At times, Dan would feel very passionate and he would tell Ana that he loved her. She would look away or even deny that she felt the same way for him, even though they both knew the truth. Whenever she tried to tell him that she loved him, he would always make a joke and she would storm angrily away, refusing to speak to him for a week or longer.
One day, Dan was in a particularly funny mood when he saw Ana's shape emerge on the horizon. Pulling up next to her, he put on a very long face and said that he could not see her anymore because in truth he was married and had been the whole time, even before he saw her top half floating around in the mountain fog. She refused to believe him, but he kept up his charade, laughing and pointing dramatically to his ring finger, which of course did not have a ring. Finally, she stopped talking and just stared at him. She slammed the door of his truck and disappeared into the distance. Why was she being so serious? Dan decided to think it over with a bottle of custia he kept under his seat. As he pondered, he saw a flock of sheep cross the dirt road and noticed in the sky that rain was coming. Finally, he started up the cranky old machine and went on his way.
He stopped when he saw Ana. She had impaled herself on a fence spike and stood there in slumped suspension, the spike holding up her pierced body. Rushing out, Dan lifted her away, ignoring the streaming blood, and sat her down in his passenger seat. She fell against the side of the door, hitting her head repeatedly as he rushed her to the hospital. Lifting her in his arms, he started running up the front steps of the hospital. A nurse glared at him and told him to lighten his load because the girl was obviously dead. Dan brought Ana into the hospital anyway, leaving her in an examination room before rushing out to finish his shift. If he didn't deliver the milk on time, he could lose his job. If he lost his job, he would be forced to find work shoveling pig shit like his friend Peafeather.
Not noticing the heavy rain that had begun to fall, he went full speed towards the next town. He tried to ignore the image of her that kept coming to his mind, drooped against that horrible fence. This was all a dream! They were too young for anything like this to happen to them. Tomorrow, the sun would come out and there she would be, walking along her road. He might even congratulate her for the convincing joke.
Suddenly, Dan's truck began to skid across the mud. It narrowly avoided a tree, but plunged headlong into a river, which quickly turned white with spilled milk. As the water rose to his feet, then to his knees, Dan wondered if Peafeather's aunt had been right after all. As the rushing water rose to his chest, Dan realized, much too late, that life was, after all, very serious. The end."
Silence all around. Someone throws a stick into the dwindling fire.
"Party's over. Let's go home," someone else suggests, and in silent agreement, the group begins to get up, dust off, gather the cups and bottles strewn on the ground.
Szil grips your hand tightly, pulling you to your feet. He leads you wordlessly away to a small path winding its way among the overgrown tombstones. He takes your other hand so you are now facing one another.
"I don't want to be like Dan and Ana," he whispers after a long pause.
"Me neither," you muble, shuffling your foot uncertainly against a rock. He squeezes your hands and you look up at him. In the partial moonlight, you can make out the grim outline of Szil the Jokester's face.
"I will tell you now, then, that I want to see you again. And again after that."
"Me too."
Without another word, Szil bends down to you. Wrapping his arms gently around your waist, he kisses you.
