Mediocre Moose Maulings!!

You bash Orpheus' brains in to open your stupid soup can. His blood stains his purple hair and for some reason he is deflating while screaming in an inhuman dialect.

Oh, I guess it was just the purple haired snorklewhacking whim ton tingler baloon monster. Yay! You are a hero! But wait, why was there a purple haired snorklewhacking whim ton tingler baloon monster in Orpheus' cradle?
And where's Orpheus? aw man, another adventure, and you haven't even gotten to have your blood covered soup yet.

Time to solve the mystery of the missing moron!