Gurl PowR!

Women know better than men that the hardest sort of stain to remove is a blood stain. You have had countless pairs of adorable undies ruined by the stuff--that is, until you discovered your Super Absorbency friends. If you get shot trying to be a hero, you will never be able to wash the blood out of your brand-new silk designer blouse. Better stay put and just hope this idiot finishes his little heist quickly so you can get the hell to work already. You're going to be late, and tardiness was Blahsmo's Number-One No-No on page 43 of last month's issue.

Your distressed thoughts are interrupted by the sound of sirens outside. It seems that someone has managed to call the police.

"COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD! WE HAVE THE ENTRANCE SURROUNDED!" a megaphone blares, so loudly it seems to shake the entire contents of the store. You see some people near you shivering with fear. You look at your watch and see that you are now 15 minutes late for work. Goddamnit!

Suddenly, the robber looks down at you and in a split second has you in a death grip, dragging you to the door with his gun pointed at your head. He is drenched with sweat, which is now beginning to seep through onto your blouse. Sweat is also not an easy thing to clean off. It leaves permanent, nasty, brownish-colored stains. You sigh with resignation.

"Back off, you fucking pigs, or the girl gets it!" he screams at the police. The street has been completely blocked off and there are five squad cars parked directly outside of the store, each with their sirens blaring and two officers standing by with their guns pointed in your direction. In the sky you hear the roar of a helicopter. All this for a shitty little Walgreens?

"Release the girl or we will kill you!" the officer with the megaphone demands. You look in his direction and see that he is dark-haired, with extremely sexy emerald eyes. You feel a little weak on your feet, but the robber pulls you up even closer so you are now pressed against him in the most disgusting way imaginable. To avoid making any sort of eye contact with him, you look upwards and happen to notice a sniper positioned on top of a building across the street.

The robber looks straight at the handsome cop with the megaphone, then continues on in his sweaty and belligerent way, "If you make any kind of move, I swear to Christ I will blow her fucking brains out!"

You wonder vaguely how this man got to be his age without discovering deodorant. The smell alone is almost enough to kill you.

"If you do not release the hostage on the count of three, we WILL be forced to take you down!" bellows Officer Cutiepants into the megaphone. "ONE! Two…" You must be at least twenty minutes late for work by now. So much for your promotion. "THREE!"

It's not a sound so much as a sensation as the world seems to explode, the great impact throwing you to the ground. Opening your eyes, you see a vertical bit of pavement and big black boots running towards you. Two brilliant green eyes peer down at you.

"Are you all right, Miss?"

Well, are you?
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