Confusion of the Mind

The dog looks up at you with puppy-dog eyes, and a tear rolls down its cheek. It seems that your heart breaks in half, just thinking about hurting the dog. You take the knife and advance toward the dog, but the dog morphs into a rubber band and snaps itself at you. It hits you in the eye and the pain is so intense that your nerves combust. You die a numb death.

Here's a rubber band joke to lessen the blow:

What kind of band plays snappy music?

A rubber band!