average day

"Well, I wouldn't necessarily call it 'bad' news, so much as 'unexpected' news. You have been diagnosed with Spontaneous Event Syndrome, or SES. In other words, you are a magnet for mysterious ocurrances. On any given day, odds are that you will be struck by lightning, bit by a shark, and win the lottery- TWICE. We brought you here to study why you produce such great improbability- and to see whether this power could be harnessed. Any questions?"