Oh Crap, I Can't Find My Various Appendages

Life sucks. You were fired from your job at Wal*Mart yesterday (apparently the shelf-stocking position doesn't include free merchandise), and now you wake up this morning with a slight fever.

You drag yourself out of bed and look in the bathroom mirror. Your face doesn't look too bad; only a little pale. You reach up and pinch your cheek tentatively.

BANG!

"That's so unfair!" your head screams from the corner of the room. "When normal people pinch themselves they do not explode; in fact, what happens does not even remotely resemble a human body bursting. The cheek gets a little red, is all. This is why I don't like this CYOA crap. Go kill yourselves."

Yes indeed, your body parts have now been scattered throughout the known world. It's up to YOU, adventurer, to retrieve them using the power of imagination (mainly because reality is a bit prohibitive on these kind of excursions). Hop to it! Hi-ho silver!

"This plot sucks," says the head.

Granted, but you've got a choice to make.