A Day In The Life Of An Average Person

Jack was down in his basement, smoking weed. This was going to be easy.
"Hey Jack." I greeted him. "You met my assistant?"
"Oh, aye, lovely person. Fired on't spot."
"Oh, why?"
"Because, silly, your boss reckons you hired 'em to shag 'em. Tha's what I heard of 'im when 'e was on't phone, your boss."
"Oh, right." I said. Where had my boss heard that from?
"Where'd he hear I was sleeping with my assistant from?"
"Ask Betty on Floor 2, she knows everything."