Happy Monster Island
You remember the James Bond movie where Bond goes to Japan? While there the head of Japanese Intelligence Tiger Tanaka offers him a martini or some sake. Bond says he enjoys sake especially when it's served at the correct temperature, 94 degrees, like this is. Well James Bond may be an international man of mystery but when it comes to sake he's a philistine. Heating sake is a way of hiding the impurities, the hot stuff is the gutrot and connoiseurs drink it chilled, but not so cold as to numb the palate. All that aside you're going to ask for warm sake because you prefer the taste you just wish there was a way of showing you weren't without good taste.
The bartender brings you a bottle and you take small sips. Little slow tonight ain't it? The bartender laughs like this is the funniest thing he's ever heard. He must be putting your kids through college you say pointing to the fisherman. The bartender laughs even harder at this. While he's laughing he's bringing his hand to his lips in the mime for drinking. It's then you start to notice something funny about your sake. You remember the scene from the movie about the guy with no memory where they test him by everyone spitting in a glass and making him drink. You look down but there's no spittle on the bottle. Your sake is a St Patrick's day green however.
What's in this? you ask. You want to know? Yes I want to know what's in this. I give you special brew. I show you. The bartender places a glass jar on the counter, it's full with the same greenish liquid you've been drinkinig. You can see the ladel he must have used to pour your drink knocking against the side of the glass. It's a pickle jar, you saw one like it before, at a carnival. Peanut buttery sick pushes its way up your throat, you feel the hotness of it streak down your chin and under your shirt your nostrils fill with the acrid smell of your own stomach. It 3 months old. There was an anthill two metres away. All you had to do was lift it up. White flakes collect at the bottom of the jar like sediment in a bottle of wine. You try to talk but swiming in puke all you can do is gurgle, like a baby.
The bartender brings you a bottle and you take small sips. Little slow tonight ain't it? The bartender laughs like this is the funniest thing he's ever heard. He must be putting your kids through college you say pointing to the fisherman. The bartender laughs even harder at this. While he's laughing he's bringing his hand to his lips in the mime for drinking. It's then you start to notice something funny about your sake. You remember the scene from the movie about the guy with no memory where they test him by everyone spitting in a glass and making him drink. You look down but there's no spittle on the bottle. Your sake is a St Patrick's day green however.
What's in this? you ask. You want to know? Yes I want to know what's in this. I give you special brew. I show you. The bartender places a glass jar on the counter, it's full with the same greenish liquid you've been drinkinig. You can see the ladel he must have used to pour your drink knocking against the side of the glass. It's a pickle jar, you saw one like it before, at a carnival. Peanut buttery sick pushes its way up your throat, you feel the hotness of it streak down your chin and under your shirt your nostrils fill with the acrid smell of your own stomach. It 3 months old. There was an anthill two metres away. All you had to do was lift it up. White flakes collect at the bottom of the jar like sediment in a bottle of wine. You try to talk but swiming in puke all you can do is gurgle, like a baby.