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Hall of Infinite Doors

"So, Ashley," you say, trying not to smile, "tell me about yourself."

"Well," replies Ashley, taking a healthy swig from her bottle, "I'm a sophomore. Bio Major. I want to become a pediatrician. I love working with children and babies. Right now I work in that big brick medical building across from campus.

"What do you do?" you ask.

Jenny smiles knowingly. "The guys love this," she juts in.

Ashley looks back at you. "I'm a wet nurse."

"A what," you ask.

"A wet nurse. I got involved with my boyfriend in my junior year of high school, but lost the baby due to complications. That's when I decided to go to college. Since then, I've had the joy of helping other people's babies when they can't or don't want to use artificial nourishment."

She takes another drink from her bottle. You finish your bowl of vegetables.

"Would you like another?" asks Sonya.

"Yes, please," you answer. She takes your bowl. You look at Ashley "So, then you're still with your boyfriend?"

"No. We broke up. He wasn't much for college and joined the military. Last year I just wanted to experiment, if you know what I mean. This year I thought I found someone, but we broke up, if you know what I mean. Sometimes if I need someone, I just get a doctor or coworker. You know how it is."

The alcohol is clearly starting to affect her. Sonya returns with your bowl.

"Going back," you say, twirlling your finger, "you take care of how many babies at this medical building?"

"Well, actually," explains Ashley, tossing her wet blonde hair over her shoulder, "I work both there and advertise on my own. Some people are concerned about just who does this for their baby and a lot of people turn you down."

"Like how many?" asks Jenny, suddenly curious.

"Normally it's the guy. You'll get this call that he has a child he needs taken care of and will go over to his place. Often the child and mother are still at the hospital. We'll discuss prices and terms. Then I'll let him inspect all my equipment. Now and then someone will want pictures. The guys are very careful about that. It's can be sensual. Some guys will even proposition me right there."

"What?!" says Jenny, shocked. "They have wives. Have you ever taken them up on that?"

"The cute ones, sure! I've blown married men, but I don't care if it's just a guy's girlfriend. I mean, c'mon," replies Ashley, grinning. "It's worse if they clearly have blueballs. I'm told that's awful, and have let more than a couple of guys release their pressure if they absolutely have to. Anyway, many will even want a sample. At first that took me aback, but now I understand how protective men are of their babies. It's amazing. The women are far less so. You'd think it'd be reversed, but it's not. Women are comfortable with a woman's body. Anyhow, as a lot of guys want to taste it, I have to keep myself on a very strict diet. No onions or anything. After that I'll explain prices and leave. I probably get hired on less than half of my interviews for one reason or another. I told a couple doctors at work, and I paid one to practice in front of him a few times, but it did't do much. But I'm busy and making money, so I don't care."

"Do you get any calls from people who just want to, you know?" you ask.

"I've had a couple total creeps, but most of the guys are very genuine. They invite you in and sit down on the couch, offer me tea, and so on. I've had several calls from just one development of townhouses on the west side, even though the business went to someone else. I was very disappointed. They listen and ask questions before unbuttoning whatever I'm wearing or asking me to take off my top. It's pretty harmless. You seem very interested in this. I'm surprised."

Sonya takes your bowl and asks if anyone wants desert or another beer.