Mr. Wiggles Big Adventures (Not a Childrens Story)
One of the thugs (the dude with the Afro and gold teeth that sparkle in the sun) walks over and shoves you to the ground. He looms over you like a towering ogre, his shadow casting an eerie darkness over the area around you. "Oh, you lost, bitch!?" he rages. "Well you done got yourself lost in the wrong neighborhood, cracker! Now gimme your wallet!"
You obey the brute's demands and hand over your wallet. He snatches it up greedily and then lands a well aimed kick to your ribs. The rest of the dudes starts laughing - even Mr. Wiggles! "Mr. Wiggles, you traitor!" you accuse him.
"Uha, uha," says Mr. Wiggles. "I found me some new friends." And then he takes a hit of a joint being passed around. "Mr. Wiggles, no!" you scream impotently. "Marijuana is a gateway drug! Soon they'll have you smoking crack and PCP!"
"Shut the fuck up, cracker!" the thug with the Afro shouts again, landing another swift kick to your ribs. Then he goes back to searching through your wallet. "I think I like the hood!" Mr. Wiggles declares. "You folks know how to keep it real!"
"Yo," says one of the hoodlums. "I think I like this bear! What's yo name, G?" he asks the little pink shithead. "Why, my name's Mr. Wiggles!" the bear replies. "Uha, uha, uha."
"Nah, man, your new name's Wiggy-Niggle," says another hoodlum. And the rest of the thugs agree with a chorus of "Yup." and "Fo' sho'.
You obey the brute's demands and hand over your wallet. He snatches it up greedily and then lands a well aimed kick to your ribs. The rest of the dudes starts laughing - even Mr. Wiggles! "Mr. Wiggles, you traitor!" you accuse him.
"Uha, uha," says Mr. Wiggles. "I found me some new friends." And then he takes a hit of a joint being passed around. "Mr. Wiggles, no!" you scream impotently. "Marijuana is a gateway drug! Soon they'll have you smoking crack and PCP!"
"Shut the fuck up, cracker!" the thug with the Afro shouts again, landing another swift kick to your ribs. Then he goes back to searching through your wallet. "I think I like the hood!" Mr. Wiggles declares. "You folks know how to keep it real!"
"Yo," says one of the hoodlums. "I think I like this bear! What's yo name, G?" he asks the little pink shithead. "Why, my name's Mr. Wiggles!" the bear replies. "Uha, uha, uha."
"Nah, man, your new name's Wiggy-Niggle," says another hoodlum. And the rest of the thugs agree with a chorus of "Yup." and "Fo' sho'.