TRASH
"Alright fine, but you better be paying more for this." You say
"Yeah, yeah, whatever I just can't have things attacking my customers in the bathrooms anymore!" Billy says.
"Well, gimme one of your fuckin' cleavers or some shit, I ain't going in there with just a mop!"
Billy runs off (Well waddles off) and fetches you a meat cleaver.
"Yeah, this'll work." You say, and then you notice Billy brandishing a .22 pistol.
"Motherfucker, I'm the one going in there, why the fuck do YOU have the gun?"
"Because its mine Mel!"
You shake your head and enter the stall, all quiet so far. You take the mop and begin poking it in the toilet, still clutching the cleaver in the other hand. Suddenly the entire toilet breaks apart as a big ass alligator comes up through it biting the head of the mop off in one chomp!
You fall back through the door breaking it off the hinges and on to the floor again.
"HOLY SHIT!" Billy says and begins firing. Unfortunately the .22 caliber has no real effect on its tough scaly hide.
"What the fuck are you gonna do with that Bill? Make it mad?" You say and swing your cleaver at it. It rolls out of the way and slaps you with its long tail, causing you to crash into the mirror. Its eyes hungrily look at Billy's wide load and scampers after him. He fires a couple more times, but is too scared to aim properly. A bullet nicks your ear and buries itself into the wall.
"STOP FUCKING FIRING! YOU NEARLY HIT ME, ASSHOLE!" you shout.
"Oh no!" Billy says sweating and panting heavily, trying to get to the door. It bites his fat ass. "AGGGGH! Mel, help me! Help me!"
While you're tempted to let it eat Billy, you instead sink your cleaver into head; it twitches a bit and then dies. Billy lies on the ground with a bloody ass; he looks up and thanks you.
"Oh Mel thank you! You saved my life! Anything you want!"
"Anything I want eh? Three months pay in advance!"
"Done! Here!" He painfully reaches into his pocket and hands you a wad of money.
"Good. Now I quit!" You pick up the alligator corpse, leave Billy lying on the bathroom floor, and tell the rest of the workers who were standing around outside to call the paramedics for Billy's fat ass.
You put the alligator body in your truck and drive home. You spend the rest of the day making a pair of boots for Tina. She's very pleased when she gets home to see you brought home money AND a gift for her. That night you don't just get some pussy, you get ALL the pussy.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever I just can't have things attacking my customers in the bathrooms anymore!" Billy says.
"Well, gimme one of your fuckin' cleavers or some shit, I ain't going in there with just a mop!"
Billy runs off (Well waddles off) and fetches you a meat cleaver.
"Yeah, this'll work." You say, and then you notice Billy brandishing a .22 pistol.
"Motherfucker, I'm the one going in there, why the fuck do YOU have the gun?"
"Because its mine Mel!"
You shake your head and enter the stall, all quiet so far. You take the mop and begin poking it in the toilet, still clutching the cleaver in the other hand. Suddenly the entire toilet breaks apart as a big ass alligator comes up through it biting the head of the mop off in one chomp!
You fall back through the door breaking it off the hinges and on to the floor again.
"HOLY SHIT!" Billy says and begins firing. Unfortunately the .22 caliber has no real effect on its tough scaly hide.
"What the fuck are you gonna do with that Bill? Make it mad?" You say and swing your cleaver at it. It rolls out of the way and slaps you with its long tail, causing you to crash into the mirror. Its eyes hungrily look at Billy's wide load and scampers after him. He fires a couple more times, but is too scared to aim properly. A bullet nicks your ear and buries itself into the wall.
"STOP FUCKING FIRING! YOU NEARLY HIT ME, ASSHOLE!" you shout.
"Oh no!" Billy says sweating and panting heavily, trying to get to the door. It bites his fat ass. "AGGGGH! Mel, help me! Help me!"
While you're tempted to let it eat Billy, you instead sink your cleaver into head; it twitches a bit and then dies. Billy lies on the ground with a bloody ass; he looks up and thanks you.
"Oh Mel thank you! You saved my life! Anything you want!"
"Anything I want eh? Three months pay in advance!"
"Done! Here!" He painfully reaches into his pocket and hands you a wad of money.
"Good. Now I quit!" You pick up the alligator corpse, leave Billy lying on the bathroom floor, and tell the rest of the workers who were standing around outside to call the paramedics for Billy's fat ass.
You put the alligator body in your truck and drive home. You spend the rest of the day making a pair of boots for Tina. She's very pleased when she gets home to see you brought home money AND a gift for her. That night you don't just get some pussy, you get ALL the pussy.
