The absurd, weird universe of zio.
CHAPTER 1: "attack of the ass chewers!"
*!!BEEEEEEEEP!!*
Blaring alarm clock...
From the darkness pours in reality! Seeing the utter pathetic roof of his smelly room. Of course the smell of sweat and left over Chinese food has been something he has known since day one out the womb-- God, he realized how disgusting his was, like he cares . . .
"FUCK!" HE SHOUTS!! And springs from his bed, the sheets caught in his foot drag all across his shaggy carpet to his bathroom! He sees his face:
He had spikey blonde hair! Or maybe it was just messy? He forgot how his hair even used to look, spending so much time eating paint chips as a kid does that to you- then.. he comes to the sudden realization... His underwear are on backwards!
oh and his friend is completely missing but that's besides the point...
He begins to quickly adjust his undies leaning his back against the wall of the bathroom he shouts:
"IF IM LATE ONE MORE TIME, IM FUCKED! OH GOD I CAN SEE MY BOSS NOW.."
He pauses midway adjusting his underwear..
"WHY THE FUCK AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?!"
"AH I DID IT AGAIN!"
"AH AGAIN?! STOP YOU!"
"WAIT WHY AM I YELLIN-"
he slams his jaws shut! Realizing this is a waist of time, slightly understanding he's not the brightest.. but as he races around his house getting dressed this imposes a new thought to his brain: "Are Brains Sentient Beings?" Think about it! Your brain might not just be some super processer, I mean really.. our brains give us signals of certain events! Isn't that what a "gut feeling" comes from? Or wait it is called gut feeling.. are your organs sentient?! There's definitely sentient beings in your body right now though, it's cool to think that there's a microscopic war going on inside your body right now! The thought of millions of organisms protecting you- hah! This new revelation made him feel better about himself as he put his clip on tie at his collar, never really learning about ties that much! Oh well saves a lot of time anyway he says to himself, trying to make himself feel better for not learning, he twists his tall self to the door and rushes out flailing his arms around like a mad man as he heads to his destination: WORK!
*!!BEEEEEEEEP!!*
Blaring alarm clock...
From the darkness pours in reality! Seeing the utter pathetic roof of his smelly room. Of course the smell of sweat and left over Chinese food has been something he has known since day one out the womb-- God, he realized how disgusting his was, like he cares . . .
"FUCK!" HE SHOUTS!! And springs from his bed, the sheets caught in his foot drag all across his shaggy carpet to his bathroom! He sees his face:
He had spikey blonde hair! Or maybe it was just messy? He forgot how his hair even used to look, spending so much time eating paint chips as a kid does that to you- then.. he comes to the sudden realization... His underwear are on backwards!
oh and his friend is completely missing but that's besides the point...
He begins to quickly adjust his undies leaning his back against the wall of the bathroom he shouts:
"IF IM LATE ONE MORE TIME, IM FUCKED! OH GOD I CAN SEE MY BOSS NOW.."
He pauses midway adjusting his underwear..
"WHY THE FUCK AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?!"
"AH I DID IT AGAIN!"
"AH AGAIN?! STOP YOU!"
"WAIT WHY AM I YELLIN-"
he slams his jaws shut! Realizing this is a waist of time, slightly understanding he's not the brightest.. but as he races around his house getting dressed this imposes a new thought to his brain: "Are Brains Sentient Beings?" Think about it! Your brain might not just be some super processer, I mean really.. our brains give us signals of certain events! Isn't that what a "gut feeling" comes from? Or wait it is called gut feeling.. are your organs sentient?! There's definitely sentient beings in your body right now though, it's cool to think that there's a microscopic war going on inside your body right now! The thought of millions of organisms protecting you- hah! This new revelation made him feel better about himself as he put his clip on tie at his collar, never really learning about ties that much! Oh well saves a lot of time anyway he says to himself, trying to make himself feel better for not learning, he twists his tall self to the door and rushes out flailing his arms around like a mad man as he heads to his destination: WORK!