The Ballad of Crud and Horgus v1.1
You attempt to crush the cool duck's spirit.
You remind the duck about how it peaked in Duck High School, and that their fondest memories will never match the days of yore. You tell it that the day they placed first in the 100m Duck Dash would be the last time they would ever feel truly happy. You tell the duck that it will forever regret not taking a gap year after graduation, when they turned down a shy duck who asked them to Duck Prom their senior year. The duck they are now may be cool compared to the other ducks in the barn, but on the grand scale of things, they're just another duck.
The really cool duck takes off its sunglasses and stamps out their cigarette. It looks out at the rest of the barn, filled with ducks slightly less cool than themselves. It lets out a long quack-sigh, and loses the will to fight.
You remind the duck about how it peaked in Duck High School, and that their fondest memories will never match the days of yore. You tell it that the day they placed first in the 100m Duck Dash would be the last time they would ever feel truly happy. You tell the duck that it will forever regret not taking a gap year after graduation, when they turned down a shy duck who asked them to Duck Prom their senior year. The duck they are now may be cool compared to the other ducks in the barn, but on the grand scale of things, they're just another duck.
The really cool duck takes off its sunglasses and stamps out their cigarette. It looks out at the rest of the barn, filled with ducks slightly less cool than themselves. It lets out a long quack-sigh, and loses the will to fight.