The Disappointment

You snuff out your last cigarette against the side wall of the house and flick the butt over the neighbour's fence. One time you accidentally started a fire in your wheelie bin (it's melted base is still stuck to the concrete nearby), and your father almost put you through the front window. Since then, you wouldn't be caught dead putting a cigarette butt anywhere near the new bin.

You return back inside to the kitchen and start searching the cupboards and fridge for something quick to eat. Your Mum has been attempting to lose a little weight over the past three years and has become something of a health nut. As a result, the kitchen is mainly stocked with fresh fruit, brown rice and frozen green beans; no snack foods what-so-ever.

Since the most complicated meal you can make is a bowl of cereal, cooking is not an option. You're not even sure how the stove works. But the best thing for a hangover is something cheap and greasy. After pushing things around the fridge for a few minutes, you come across two potential options:

The first is a container of what looks like satay prawns from the last time your family got Chinese Takeaway, but when was that exactly? For all you know, your parents might have ordered it while you were out on Saturday night.

The second option is a frozen pizza. Your Dad bought a couple of them after cracking the shits when Mum served up boiled chicken and steamed broccoli for the fourth time that month. But most nights he's too drunk to cook anything himself, so he prefers just to complain about what he's been served, so the pizzas have been chilling in the freezer for at least six months.

You place both on the bench top and stare at them. Pizza is definitely the safer option, but you always struggle to operate the gas oven, and Mum isn't home to help you out. But satay prawns are your favourite, and all they need is a quick zap in the microwave.