The History Paper
Your argument is valid, but one of your premises is false.
“Luna,” you interrupted. “Do you like philosophy?”
She shot you down very quickly. “No, human.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m just fascinated by how stupid your kind is. I mean, how can a whole species not have one person who is rational?”
You thought briefly about how to diffuse the situation, your original plan obviously not going to help. Chase shot you a warning look. “You know,” you started, the lie you were prepared to spit out already paining you. “I agree with you.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t believe you.”
“I studied philosophy in school. Never really was a fan of Aristotle or Plato.” You had never been very good at lying, so you tried your best to seem nonchalant about the whole situation. “I just found them overly conceited.” Chase, having been the one you would call and excitedly talk to about philosophy – especially some of Plato and Aristotle’s works, suppressed a giggle.
She tilted her head upwards, looking down at you, as though she was still considering if you were lying or not. “Yes, I agree.” Her voice was cautious.
“To be honest,” you continued, “we’re really just animals whose defining feature is ego, not rationality.”
She laughed. “Human, I like you.”
Chase piped in, “I didn’t study philosophy, but I can tell you, I work with people on a daily basis, and not a single one has any logical inclination. I mean, if us accidentally showing up in The Underworld doesn’t prove how irrational and stupid humanity is, I don’t know what will.”
“Not only did we accidentally end up here, we asked the god of death to help us get out.” You forced a small laugh. “You would think just some common sense would tell us that’s a terrible idea.”
You continued like this for a while, shamelessly insulting humankind. After a while, she said, “maybe humanity can use you two.”
Chase fought down a smile. “They’re doomed no matter what though, are they not?” You asked. You were on the final lap, excruciatingly close to the finish line.
“I suppose.” She smiled. “But there’s something reassuring about knowing there are people who hate it as much as I do.” You nodded, trying your best to stay serious. “You know, maybe I will help the two of you.”
Chase looked as if he wanted to scream and you could see the physical strain that he was under not to high-five you. “Are you sure?’ His tone was surprisingly controlled.
“Yes. I, myself, cannot let you out. You will need to meet with Hades and propose your case. I will be there to advocate on your behalf, but it is still unlikely he will listen to just me.”
“So, what do we do?” You piped in.
She thought for a moment. “There’s a party at the castle. We’ll talk to Persephone – she’s more reasonable – and see what she suggests. As I said, I’ll go with you and I’ll advocate for you.”
You gave a slight bow, “thank you, Luna. We are eternally grateful.”
“I understand your sentiment, but you should not go around saying that here. You might just end up owing someone a favour and that’s not something you want.” She started walking towards a door behind her desk. "Come on, we have to get you ready. If we don't hurry, you'll start fading soon."
“Luna,” you interrupted. “Do you like philosophy?”
She shot you down very quickly. “No, human.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m just fascinated by how stupid your kind is. I mean, how can a whole species not have one person who is rational?”
You thought briefly about how to diffuse the situation, your original plan obviously not going to help. Chase shot you a warning look. “You know,” you started, the lie you were prepared to spit out already paining you. “I agree with you.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t believe you.”
“I studied philosophy in school. Never really was a fan of Aristotle or Plato.” You had never been very good at lying, so you tried your best to seem nonchalant about the whole situation. “I just found them overly conceited.” Chase, having been the one you would call and excitedly talk to about philosophy – especially some of Plato and Aristotle’s works, suppressed a giggle.
She tilted her head upwards, looking down at you, as though she was still considering if you were lying or not. “Yes, I agree.” Her voice was cautious.
“To be honest,” you continued, “we’re really just animals whose defining feature is ego, not rationality.”
She laughed. “Human, I like you.”
Chase piped in, “I didn’t study philosophy, but I can tell you, I work with people on a daily basis, and not a single one has any logical inclination. I mean, if us accidentally showing up in The Underworld doesn’t prove how irrational and stupid humanity is, I don’t know what will.”
“Not only did we accidentally end up here, we asked the god of death to help us get out.” You forced a small laugh. “You would think just some common sense would tell us that’s a terrible idea.”
You continued like this for a while, shamelessly insulting humankind. After a while, she said, “maybe humanity can use you two.”
Chase fought down a smile. “They’re doomed no matter what though, are they not?” You asked. You were on the final lap, excruciatingly close to the finish line.
“I suppose.” She smiled. “But there’s something reassuring about knowing there are people who hate it as much as I do.” You nodded, trying your best to stay serious. “You know, maybe I will help the two of you.”
Chase looked as if he wanted to scream and you could see the physical strain that he was under not to high-five you. “Are you sure?’ His tone was surprisingly controlled.
“Yes. I, myself, cannot let you out. You will need to meet with Hades and propose your case. I will be there to advocate on your behalf, but it is still unlikely he will listen to just me.”
“So, what do we do?” You piped in.
She thought for a moment. “There’s a party at the castle. We’ll talk to Persephone – she’s more reasonable – and see what she suggests. As I said, I’ll go with you and I’ll advocate for you.”
You gave a slight bow, “thank you, Luna. We are eternally grateful.”
“I understand your sentiment, but you should not go around saying that here. You might just end up owing someone a favour and that’s not something you want.” She started walking towards a door behind her desk. "Come on, we have to get you ready. If we don't hurry, you'll start fading soon."