Journey to Nanking

With the recent loss of your wife, you simply can't bring yourself to climb the military ladder. Per the orders of Count Alfred von Waldersee, you are sent to the front lines to fight off the invading Boxers. The Boxers are skilled, but they are no match for bullets. You haven't even been touched by a Boxer when suddenly you feel a kick to your gut. You look up and recognize that this Boxer is your childhood friend. You used to play and run around together. When you grew up, he became a successful farmer and moved to a bigger farm. He gave you his land when he left.

What do you do?