Uncle Slappy's Quest for Monkey

Somehow, you find yourself on the ground, rolling away from a dead waitress, your body manufacturing and delivering adrenaline to your system like AOL delivers CD-ROMS through US Mail. You hurt...BAD, but you make it to your pride and joy, your red Dodge Ram 50 which, as merciful fate has it, was shielded from the blast on the opposite wall of the diner. Around you, as you start the engine, you can see the broken windows of cars and the start of fires all over, including the fuel pumps of the nearby filling station. Slamming it into first gear, you tear out of the lot. To your left is town. To the right is Uncle Slappy's. Do you: