The Thief's Tale

You enter the museum in your nicest suit and sporting a horrible fake British accent.
"Good Morrow dear security guard, I absolutely adore your sporting goatee. Might I suggest a crumpet? You are looking quite pale," you blab.
The guard is instantly suspicious. He reluctantly lets you pass by, though, but not before growling, "I'll be keeping an eye on you!"
You meekly whimper, "Jolly jolly good."