Life in the ARMY

You decide to make some oatmeal. Ramón pours a bottle of water on your head. You ask, “What was that for?” You suddenly feel awake. “To wake you up, of course! You look like you’ve been awake for half the night!” You say, “That’s half right.” Ramón snickers. You make the eggs, and you offer Ramón some, and he says OK. After you eat, you and Ramón put on your uniform and line up where you’re supposed to after breakfast. A few minutes later, your other friend, Josh, comes in. “Oh, hey guys. What are you doin’?” You’re about to say it’s pretty obvious¬—We’re standing here ready to impress the general so we have a better chance to rank up. You keep the words from flying out of your mouth. “Oh, we’re just waiting here because we like it.” Ramón says. You know he’s being sarcastic. Luckily, Josh didn’t seem to notice. “Uh… OK, I’ll be havin’ some oatmeal.” You nod, and you wink at Ramón in thanks for bailing you out. After Josh came your two other friends, and their names are Tony, and Antonio. “Hi, guys! I see you’re trying to impress the general so you have a better chance of ranking up.” Tony says. “Thank you,” you mutter under your breath. Antonio rubs his eyes. Antonio goes to sleep at eight o’ clock at night and wakes up at about seven thirty in the morning. To him, it’s never enough. Tony and Antonio are roommates, but you are the only one without a roommate. That’s so because you go to sleep at two o’ clock in the morning until about six fifty. And to you, that’s all you need. To Antonio, that would be like getting only five minutes to sleep. For all you know, in his opinion, sleeping through his whole life wouldn’t be enough. But luckily, he can be wide awake if Tony or the General wants him to be. It was seven nineteen at the moment, and in about thirty-five minutes the rest of the soldiers would come in and eat. The general stays up all night, no sleep at all. To him, that’s all he needs. No sleep, at all. In fact, he made up a motto for himself. It’s: “People who don’t sleep at all get more. The people who sleep a full rest get less.” You know that’s totally not true, because when you were eleven years old, your neighbor was a rich kid who slept fourteen hours a day, and she was a billionaire. And the general is not very rich, but he lives on seventy-five dollars a day. At eight o’ clock, it’s time for training. The general compliments you and Ramón when you are paying attention. All the others were fidgeting, and scratching. The problem was that the outpost has flies and mosquitoes. You and Ramón both had mosquito repellant, so the mosquitoes go to everyone else but you and Ramón. The general says that today he was in a good mood, so he allowed you to pick an exercise. Do you pick…