Escape And Seek Revenge On The Author!
Even though I survived the author's evil puzzles, I couldn't help but imagine the ways that he could have killed me. I could have been incinerated! Or I could have turned a wheel the wrong way, resulting in the trepanning of my face. Or I could have even drowned... twice. And now, standing between the devious author and his beloved Bieber room, I have decided the perfect punishment:
First, I use the lubricant that the author was using to pleasure himself (ew) to grease the walls of the Bieb's room, then proceeded to light each individual image of the Canadian pop-star. The author's (who I had tied up, obviously) distress was evident, but that was not enough. I then locked his sorry ass in the room, with only the company of the engulfed Biebers to keep him company.
I listened to him scream for some time, but I knew that this would not be enough. From his control center, I activated the sprinkler system for the Purple Room, just barely saving the author from being completely engulfed by the flames (yeah, I know it's usually the smoke that gets people trapped in fires, but that's not satisfying enough for me). Of course, the author had each of his trap rooms air-locked because he was that kind of asshole. So naturally, the room filled up with water and the author, being tied up, could not swim.
After allowing the author to sit at the bottom of the room for a few minutes, I opened the room, draining it of water. The author was unconscious, maybe even dead, but there was no way I was going to put my mouth anywhere near that cretin's. Instead, I just stomped his stomach and chest until he coughed the water back up.
Brandishing the wheel that could have killed me if I had just turned it in the wrong direction, I then beat him senseless, knocking him about the head over and over again. This act appeased me for easily ten minutes, and by the time I was finished, the author's face was unrecognizable, most closely resembling a Picasso painting. Though, in truth, the rearrangement of his face was a major improvement as he was one ugly fucker.
Whoever has read this far, thank you for indulging in my insane search for revenge. I promise you, it is almost over. I drag the author back to the room filled with water, hearing him try to beg with whatever was left of his mouth. I slowly untie him, telling the author that he still has a chance to win. Of course, I kick him into the piranha-filled water while his legs are still tied, just 'cuz. As he struggles to survive and the water turns dark red, I yell, "Take that you son of a bitch! That's for making me pick up a used dildo!"
I walked out of that demented house thinking one thing and one thing only: The author put up quite the challenge. Maybe he actually thought that he could beat me, but I doubt it. You see, the game was rigged from the very start, and there was never any real chance of me losing. After all, I had the 'Back' button.
Wow did I get dark when killing the author. Must have really resented all the maggots and Beiber. I had fun though! Oh, and I died 4 times. Honest!
First, I use the lubricant that the author was using to pleasure himself (ew) to grease the walls of the Bieb's room, then proceeded to light each individual image of the Canadian pop-star. The author's (who I had tied up, obviously) distress was evident, but that was not enough. I then locked his sorry ass in the room, with only the company of the engulfed Biebers to keep him company.
I listened to him scream for some time, but I knew that this would not be enough. From his control center, I activated the sprinkler system for the Purple Room, just barely saving the author from being completely engulfed by the flames (yeah, I know it's usually the smoke that gets people trapped in fires, but that's not satisfying enough for me). Of course, the author had each of his trap rooms air-locked because he was that kind of asshole. So naturally, the room filled up with water and the author, being tied up, could not swim.
After allowing the author to sit at the bottom of the room for a few minutes, I opened the room, draining it of water. The author was unconscious, maybe even dead, but there was no way I was going to put my mouth anywhere near that cretin's. Instead, I just stomped his stomach and chest until he coughed the water back up.
Brandishing the wheel that could have killed me if I had just turned it in the wrong direction, I then beat him senseless, knocking him about the head over and over again. This act appeased me for easily ten minutes, and by the time I was finished, the author's face was unrecognizable, most closely resembling a Picasso painting. Though, in truth, the rearrangement of his face was a major improvement as he was one ugly fucker.
Whoever has read this far, thank you for indulging in my insane search for revenge. I promise you, it is almost over. I drag the author back to the room filled with water, hearing him try to beg with whatever was left of his mouth. I slowly untie him, telling the author that he still has a chance to win. Of course, I kick him into the piranha-filled water while his legs are still tied, just 'cuz. As he struggles to survive and the water turns dark red, I yell, "Take that you son of a bitch! That's for making me pick up a used dildo!"
I walked out of that demented house thinking one thing and one thing only: The author put up quite the challenge. Maybe he actually thought that he could beat me, but I doubt it. You see, the game was rigged from the very start, and there was never any real chance of me losing. After all, I had the 'Back' button.
Wow did I get dark when killing the author. Must have really resented all the maggots and Beiber. I had fun though! Oh, and I died 4 times. Honest!
