Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
Jan 11, 2011
The grammar and the randomness towards the end of the story is what's preventing me from rating it any higher. Still, this reads a lot better than most of the stuff on the site and I even found the first couple rooms to be somewhat interesting.

Work on your grammar, make the plot a little bit more coherent, and I think you'll eventually be able to make something worthy of at least an 8.
by YazZMaN on Jan 11, 2011

Rate Story