Try the new AI-powered Infinite Story.

Game Book: Adventure Singapore

Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
Bladeninja76
Bladeninja76
May 22, 2011
by Bladeninja76 on May 22, 2011
Calen
Calen
Aug 11, 2007
I was going to give you a 6, but the story didn't develop enough for my tastes- I thought it'd keep going and you might even reach a 7 for my rating but it stopped too abruptly. Who is the character you are playing?
I was just getting interested in the identity of the 4 men when it ended. Try and elaborate, make rooms longer, but other than that you had some very interesting ideas! I loved the 'YOU'RE RIGHT! If the question was what was the wrong answer."

Some very clever lines you had in your story. Try again, I look forward to more of your work!
by Calen on Aug 11, 2007
donteatpoop
donteatpoop
Aug 9, 2007
I would have rated you higher if you had been more descriptive or had a more solid storyline. The rooms were pretty short, especiall the 'end' rooms. The beginning of the story threw me too, the protagonist is just being attacked/chased out of nowhere. What the hell happened? If you want to get the reader involved in the story (and really, that should be every writers goal) you need to give some bacground information. Just throwing the character in a situation is fine, but there needs to be some explanationa s to why they are in that situation.

I enjoyed the way you made this part adventure, part trivia, that was a very unique take.

I think this story suffers from "first story syndrom", assuming this is your first story. Once you practice a little, I think you'll get the hang of it and start delivering quality stories.

Welcome to infinite-story, by the way. Hope this helps...
by donteatpoop on Aug 9, 2007

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