Cops and robbers

Comments & Ratings

That wasI understand you must be pretty young, but that was a little too short.. and the description and grammar and blah isn't good enough for me! :|
by TheCandyMan on Apr 4, 2011
by happyhak on Dec 14, 2010
My main beef with this story is the lack of punctuation and the abundance of typos. I recommend editing those out. Can't comment too much on the material other than that; I got lost trying to read it.
by Souvarine on Oct 28, 2010
It's pretty good for a first story, about as good as my first story anyways. I'm working on my second now. Anyways perhaps you should fix some of the typos but other than that good job.
by Loki on Aug 21, 2010
hey, this story is alright, but it was kind of short. make it longer and put at least a little bit on punctuation. i got kind of lost trying to read it. =)
by superjo16 on Jul 10, 2010
you capitalize less words then me. that is not good.
by cappstv on Jan 21, 2010
by cappstv on Jan 21, 2010
a little more detail and thought.
by kingcjust on Dec 15, 2009
Not great. A lot of typos make it hard to read. Keep working. Try to be less anoying.
by Dewper on Apr 21, 2009
by Megamantn on Jan 10, 2009
make it longer. it was really gay endings
by Biasatti on Dec 16, 2008
Too short for my liking and the cop one didn't make sense. Not too shabby though just needs some work.
by Ghizzard on May 5, 2008
by Ghizzard on May 5, 2008
Oh no, I got shot in the head by my own squadron! xD Why does this always happen to me in these adventure stories? I don't think I've ever gotten out of one without dying a weird death, lol.

It was nice, easy, and didn't take a lot of brainwork. I wouldn't say it was super good, but it was kind of fun since I didn't feel like reading a lot this evening. ^_^
by trollitrade on Apr 13, 2008
I feel buzzed right now... this rating is a present of somekind.
by Leblanc4prez on Oct 12, 2007
I don't. It needs a ton of work.

by donteatpoop on Jul 30, 2007
The only reason this isn't a two or a one is because you had the disclaimer that it was your first story and I'm assuming you are very young.

Learn some basic spelling and grammar. Study what "plot" is and work on that a bit. Yeah, needs a lot of work. Next story, spend a lot more time and write it in a word processing program and run a spelling and grammar check... please.
by apotheosis on Jul 30, 2007
This story HAD potential. Playing the part of a cop who chases a robber or the actual robber. With paragraphs and character development, it could have become a good story. Unfortunately, it was far too simple and you misspelled you're a million times.
by Calen on Jul 27, 2007
I know that second grade can be difficult, so I'll kindly remind you that the first letter in a sentence should be capitalized (you know, BIG LETTERS).

Your 'story' lacks depth. I know you said you put a lot of work into it, but it seems like you neglected to work on the storyline.
by donteatpoop on Jul 26, 2007
Hi does anybody like my story? i do!
by joe60 on Jul 26, 2007

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