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The shot heard round the city

Written by Xane / PG: Parental Guidance Suggested / 3.00 (2 ratings) (2)
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Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
donteatpoop
donteatpoop		 Sep 28, 2007
An indication that your story wasn't well told is when the reader has to ask what the hell the story was about after reading it.

And I have to ask, What the hell was this story about? You gave no clues, no details, shit I'd hesitate to call it a story at all.
by donteatpoop on Sep 28, 2007
apotheosis
apotheosis		 Mar 4, 2007
You require much more detail in the story. Right now the entire piece is less than a page long and it really doesn't give the reader a good sense of what is going on. More effort and time could really improve this.
by apotheosis on Mar 4, 2007

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