The Thief of Alvera

Written by thoric / MA: Mature Audiences - Adult / 8.17 (6 ratings) (6)
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Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
urnam0
urnam0		 Apr 1, 2009
Just to balance out the 2 rating. I think this story has lots of potential and would be a 10 if finished anyways.
by urnam0 on Apr 1, 2009
Matabichos
Matabichos		 Feb 27, 2008
by Matabichos on Feb 27, 2008
KaticaLocke
KaticaLocke		 Feb 20, 2008
by KaticaLocke on Feb 20, 2008
donteatpoop
donteatpoop		 Jan 26, 2007
Amazingly well told. Excellent story. Your writing is excellent... And you're only 15 years old??? Damn. Nice work, the only advice I can offer you is to be careful with tenses. A few times your choice of past VS present tense seemed wrong and can confuse the reader.

Great job though. Stick around and write more, dammit.
by donteatpoop on Jan 26, 2007
michaelrayholt
michaelrayholt		 Jan 18, 2007
The writing is a couple clicks transcendant of "above average" => 9.
However, there are a few punctuational and grammatical errors => 8.
On the other hand, you've introduced me to a couple new words (impressive) => 9.
And you DO play Eternal Duel...

Eh, why not? I haven't given one in a while.

10!
by michaelrayholt on Jan 18, 2007
EndMaster
EndMaster		 Jan 18, 2007
I liked the detail in this story, plus the whole theme is cool. My attention was definitely kept. You should add more to this.
by EndMaster on Jan 18, 2007

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