The Game Master

Written by razman / MA: Mature Audiences - Adult /

(5)

Comments & Ratings

Author	Rating	Date	Comment
Thickskullman		May 14, 2013	Rather pointless by Thickskullman on May 14, 2013
PredatorKing		Sep 27, 2009	I am really tempted to write a revenge version of this story. REALLY tempted. by PredatorKing on Sep 27, 2009
Usoki		Jul 26, 2008	The character's motivation for entering the GM's layer is very weak, and very stretched. "Hmm, I want a refund, so I think I'll break into this scary building. That will end well." Of course, this initial reason is quickly forgotten, and the story goes from a quirky business tycoon loner to a creepy transform-ray robot as its antagonist. And, what's with all of the girl transforamtions? They get kinda old, seeing as how they happen so. freaking. often. Oh, and one last thing- between the way 'Jessica' gets sexually abused, and the entire scar-mouthed cannibalism string...this is not a PG story. All in all, not bad- certainly nothing spectacular in my opinion, but a VERY good start and definitely not a piece 'o like most of the stuff plaguing this site. Clean up your grammar, and I will expect wondrous things from you. by Usoki on Jul 26, 2008
KaticaLocke		Feb 26, 2008	by KaticaLocke on Feb 26, 2008
PredatorKing		Dec 8, 2007	Awesome! This story is really engaging (and disturbing, for that matter :P). by PredatorKing on Dec 8, 2007
donteatpoop		May 2, 2007	This had a lot of detail put into it and a pretty good plotline. There were a number of typos and grammatical errors that really need some attention as they pull the reader from the story. Overall, well done. I look forward to reading more from you. by donteatpoop on May 2, 2007