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The Realms of Kitlance

Written by ClarkParker / PG: Parental Guidance Suggested / 6.50 (2 ratings) (2)
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Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
apotheosis
apotheosis		 Jan 4, 2007
I could see there was a decent amount of effort put forth but I felt apathetic from the beginning about it... Just didn't really pull me in at all. Endmaster's Legend makes it look really bad by comparison.
by apotheosis on Jan 4, 2007
EndMaster
EndMaster		 Jan 3, 2007
Okay, first thing you need to do is to fix the first page; I nearly quit reading it because you had everything running together. Space out some paragraphs every now and then.

The rest of it has similar problems as the first page. (Not as bad though) So some points are docked because of this.

The story is fine though.
by EndMaster on Jan 3, 2007

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