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School day adventure

Written by wilio / PG: Parental Guidance Suggested / 3.83 (6 ratings) (6)
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Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
Clark
Clark		 Mar 7, 2013
by Clark on Mar 7, 2013
apotheosis
apotheosis		 Jun 27, 2007
I "You stupidely gto" and I see a "nie girl" Do you even glance at what you are writing before you send it out into the world?
by apotheosis on Jun 27, 2007
intersam
intersam		 Jun 8, 2006
by intersam on Jun 8, 2006
donteatpoop
donteatpoop		 May 13, 2006
I think YazZ's six was way too high, but Jeff's 2 was far too low. The 4 is right. You used multiple sentences, which is a good thing, but your sentences contained very few adjectives. Adjectives are essential in stories.

Also I was a little confused after passing my algebra exam that I headed to launch to eat. I didn't even know the school had a rocket.
by donteatpoop on May 13, 2006
jeffisthebest
jeffisthebest		 Apr 23, 2006
Completely awful. Horrid spelling and grammar. No plot. No characters. No creativity.
by jeffisthebest on Apr 23, 2006
YazZMaN
YazZMaN		 Apr 18, 2006
There's some effort - good to see it.

However, this tale needs more detail, fleshed out rooms, and character roundmanship.
by YazZMaN on Apr 18, 2006

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