Aliens: The return
Comments & Ratings
Author | Rating | Date | Comment |
---|---|---|---|
ramlod |
Apr 26, 2013 | could be better | |
Alexgamer |
Jul 31, 2010 | ||
theknight |
Dec 18, 2005 | Please add extra rooms so that the story can get better! :) | |
jeffisthebest |
Dec 10, 2005 | DEP, how does this deserve a 7...I'm sorry but the entire story is just like you are this you do this you see this you f*** this it gets repetitive | |
theknight |
Nov 26, 2005 | Please rate this story so I you can tell me if I'm doing anything wrong :) | |
donteatpoop |
Sep 24, 2005 | theknight, glad to see you are still writing. This story showed great improvement over the other. Your other story, a I recall was decent too. This aliens rendition was well put together. I still think you could work on more details to improve everything overall, though. Details are what truly define a story. I hope that you take my advice when I say this, but use the edit button on the bottom of each page and put in some "filler" details. Describe the way things and people look, their emotions, and observations. It will greatly improve your solid plotlines. (Except for your story about poop, there was no helping that, I'm glad to see you've moved past it.) |